Beau Louth Rookie Profile [1/2]

[Beaviss 4,955]

(Before his transformation)

 

 

Beau Louth

Position: LW

Age: 25

Height: 6'8"

Weight:  210

Hometown: Duncan, BC

Junior Hockey: Kerry Park Islanders

NHL Comparables: Weirdly tall Patrick Kane

 

Hockey History

 

Beau had an interesting path to the VHL. Beau was the 6th born of an occult litter, spawned in the wilds of Duncan B.C.  Within one year he had grown to the freakish height of six foot eight inches.  The original plan was to put Beau into the world of basket ball with his long wingspan and tall lanky frame, using this sky rocket to super stardom to push the Louth family into legend status. Unfortunately, since he was a dog that was hard. Beau couldn't rebound for shit, so his basketball days were over before they started.  Late one stormy night, Beau broke free from his cage and escaped into the wilds of Duncan. He made it into a vat of a local brewery and transformed into a Human. He claimed the age of 25 based on his enormous size and started off on a life of his own. He traveled on foot for about 6 months and didn’t like the freedom and his long long stride brought him back to his family. He took refuge with them as the family didn’t quite believe that there beloved pooch was now a person. Beau still having doglike tendencies then went for a walk and ended up behind the arena chasing a ball around. The then GM of the Kerry Park Islanders Peter Wilson was outside having a piss as the bathrooms where always busted. He was impressed with how agile and speedy the lanky human was. The GM offered Beau a spot on his hockey team, not knowing Beau was the son? Of the Legendary Keaton Louth. Beau immediately took to the game and was an obvious superstar using his speed and agility and his surprising shot to light it up.

 

(Beau as a baby)

 

Pros:

 

Scoring: Beau is an incredible scorer.  He has been filling the net with ease his whole life.  His booming slap shots are just as accurate as his lightning fast wrist shots. The flex he is able to put on his stick using his whole frame whips the puck past the goalie before they have time to react.  Corners, half boards, slot, point, the office, Beau scores from everywhere.

 

Skating:  Beau's long stride builds up power and makes him a blindingly fast skater.  He flies up and down the ice, makes quick cuts, and leaves defenders in the dust.  

 

Puck Handling: Silky mits would look dirty and cheap compared to Beau's.  Puck on a string is too much mechanics for how he handles the puck.  Now you see it now you dont is too childish a way to describe his seeming mastery of the space time continuum as he dangles defenders into the 4th dimension.

 

Cons: 

 

Passing:  Beau is not a great passer.  His accuracy on net is lost when it comes to distributing the puck.  Do not expect Beau to start the rush, unless he has the puck himself.  lots of offensive zone starts would be a good thing for this scoring winger.

 

Fighting: Despite his obvious size advantage, Beau is a lover, not a fighter.  Do not expect Beau to step up and ring any bells, or dive into the dog pile to defend teammates.  He prefers to stay away from the fisticuffs.

 

Beaviss his player agent:  Considering what we've seen from his last player, we can only assume that Beau will too be a bust and not live up to the potential he's spouting with this crazy good rookie season he's posting.

 

 

(Modern day Beau)

[Banackock 7,976]

Very weird and unique. I like it.

 

 Busting out of cages like he’s going to bust in the VHL. 

[Spade18 1,305]

I liked the original better.  This is far too wholesome and warms my heart.

[Spade18 1,305]

Just now, Spade18 said:

I liked the original better.  This is far too wholesome and warms my heart.

Cold dead heart btw

[DollarAndADream 3,356]

Review:

The puppy pictures are enough to bribe me into thinking this is worth 8 TPE. APproved.

Seriously though, good write-up. Beau is legit.