Claimed:Situation Tense As Salo Invades Oslo's Locker Room

[Doomsday 4,055]

Situation Tense As Salo Invades Oslo's Locker Room

 

OSLO - Tensions throughout the VHLM remain critical as a continuing situation is unfolding in Norway. The locker room of the Oslo Storm has been invaded by Kimmo Salo and other members of the Bratislava Watchmen, who have demanded the surrender of the facility. However, Oslo's general manager, Thomas Landry, has refused to surrender the locker room and has re-enforced the team's facilities. Thomas Corcoran, the commissioner of the VHLM, has issued an ultimatum of 5:00 AM for the Watchmen to vacate Oslo's locker room, but it appears to have been widely ignored.

 

Residents in Oslo have been boarding their homes and bracing for what could be a very violent clash. The Watchmen are fueled by their recent successes, but under new management that seeks to make a name for itself, could be looking to pick on a fellow European Conference team for more ground. However, Oslo isn't going to make it easy for them.

 

 

"It's our locker room, I don't understand why they're here," said Thomas Landry in a conference call. "No games are scheduled, I don't understand it. Kimmo is always welcome here, but I don't know why the whole rest of the team is. Wait, are those helicopters outside? Why are there helicopters outside?! This isn't that big of a deal!"

 

Landry's complete and utter outrage is shared by Thomas Corcoran, the commissioner of the VHLM.

 

"I'm not exactly sure what the Watchmen are doing," said Corcoran. "It's the off-season, shouldn't these guys be at home with their families and friends instead of having some sort of all-night kegger in another team's locker room? Either way, they better be out of there before 5 AM, as the facility is scheduled to undergo routine off-season fumigation."

 

 

With Corcoran's bold, stern and unwavering stance on preventing a massacre, all eyes shift towards the cold, desolate plains of Norway. The clock continues to tick towards the deadline of 5 AM, yet there is no movement at all. Oslo's players remain at their posts, firmly gripping their sticks and waiting, just waiting for whatever may happen. Yet, the decision of what will happen remains out of their hands. That distinction goes to Kimmo Salo and the Bratislava Watchmen, who continue to demand the surrender of Oslo's locker room.

 

"Jesus, guys," belted Salo. "Our locker room is being renovated and we need a place to crash! We promise that we won't bring hookers... we contracted them to fix up the locker room. No promises about alcohol, though. Come on! You guys can hang out too!"

 

 

Salo's unwavering demands only add to the critical nature of the issue. 5 AM continues to draw nearer and nearer, with absolutely no hope of a peaceful resolution currently in sight. The VHLM may be on the eve of the worst catastrophe in the history of the league, or perhaps by some miracle a hero will rise. But until then, all the hockey world can do is hold their breath and hope for the best.

 

Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times, who report on some super serious stuff. He enjoys slapping people who sit on the guns at Gettysburg, removing kebabs and laughing at someone different.

[STZ 5,303]

Everyone in this article be Watchmen..

 

#TakeOver

[Guest Svoboda_3]

Content: 3/3

540 words. It wasn't overly long, but it provided enough solid content about Seth and his Watchmen Army invading the Oslo LR. It read smoothly like a story should.

Grammar: 2/2

Just two minor instances.

 

commissioner = Commissioner (a position of power should be capitalized)

off-season, shouldn't = off-season; shouldn't

Appearance: 1/1

Looked good.

Overall: 6/6

[Smarch 2,962]

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