VHLM Goaltender Allegedly Eats Entire Puck

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Juan Juandice, @Jus the starting goaltender for the Saskatoon Wild, has just been reported to have eaten an entire puck. Reporting live from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, we heard from his teammate on the Saskatoon Wild, defenseman Rusty Shackleford, who claimed that in the middle of what he called "a wild bender," Juandice was apparently convinced to scarf down an entire hockey puck for its "goalie-boosting powers." 

 

While it is unclear what the exact circumstances were leading up to this event, Shackleford was able to ramble out a slurred series of words that were deciphered to mean "It all started when we were talking about how to stop a puck, you must think like a puck. One thing led to another, and the guy was eating a puck. An actual whole puck."

 

It should be noted that Shackleford himself reeked of what can only be assumed to be a copious amount of cheap beer and whiskey, and that he may not be as reliable of a source as one would hope for. 

 

Pictured Above: A picture of what is believed to be the puck that Juandice devoured, part of the way through his feast.

 

Upon further investigation, multiple sources are now reporting that the alleged "puck" may have actually been a Ding Dong all along. 

 

We have reached out to Juandice for comment and are waiting to hear back. 

[Gustav 6,407]

Weird funny article. I like it. 

[Jus 35]

There's nothing about this that I don't love.

[Peace 1,531]

Does it make you better at stopping them? 

*Ducks and rolls out of the topic to avoid flying objects*

[Jus 35]

Only on days I remember to eat them. I rely on my d-men to supply me them pregame

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2 minutes ago, Peace said:

Does it make you better at stopping them? 

*Ducks and rolls out of the topic to avoid flying objects*

oof