Top 10 Names in the Upcoming VHL Draft

[harvey 10]

 

As someone who's been here for a day or so, I am probably the best and perhaps the most qualified to look at a list of names for the upcoming VHL Entry Draft and pick the best ones. So here are the Top 10 names:

 

10. Jerry Garcia 

This name is only on the list because it reminds me of the famous ice cream, Cherry Garcia, by Ben and Jerry's. When eating the ice cream, it makes me feel good about my self in ways that I did not think possible, so nothing but positive vibes here.

 

9. Kari Jurri

This is not the first time, nor will it be the last time, that hockeyis66 will use a Finnish legend as his player's name, with the subtle change of the first letters, but he does it so seamlessly here because Kari is an actual name. It rolls off the tongue and he should be a first round pick just because of that.

 

8. Hans Gruber

This is an interesting choice of name, because Hans Gruber may be the greatest villain in movie history. If you don't know, Hans Gruber (played by Professor Snape) fought Rachel's boyfriend Paul (from Friends) and ended up losing. Gruber looks good on the back of a jersey though.

 

7. Tim W

Honestly, this name could have been first. Tim W is soft, sophisticated and gentle. Could have Cher or Oprah simplicity power. Strong move here. 

 

6. Fudge Popsicle

Some of the best names come from the thing that is in your hand. I have a feeling this is exactly what happened. It is tough to come up with a solid name, and as we get closer to the summer season, look for more cold foods to become player names.

 

5. Rusty Shackleford

Another name that rolls off the tongue. I can already hear the crowd chanting his name. RUS-TY SHACK-EL-FORD. He's likely an old-timey boat captain, or perhaps he owns a saloon.

 

4. Shawnomir Jagr

Without knowing anything about the user, it is safe to think that his real life name is Shawn? Or perhaps he knows a Shawn, a very important person in his life. Or perhaps he went to school with a guy named Shawn who had a mullet and made the obvious connection.

 

3. Charlie Paddywagon

Paddywagon is a name for a police car in England, if I am not mistaken? Having a car as a hockey player would be interesting. Would have been higher on the list if his name was Mike Mazzerati or Luigi Lamborghini, which gives me a great idea for another name. It's a shame all the good names are coming to me after I've already created.

 

2. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

It's time to play the game, and that game is Paul Levesque. Honestly, the old school wrestling fan in me should have made this name number one on my list, and if I would have known this name existed, perhaps I would have used the Paul Levesque moniker. Or Stone Cold Steve Austin, or another big name from the good old days. Solid name with an obvious nickname attached.

 

1. Jet Jaguar

If you hadn't noticed already, I'm a sucker for alliteration. Jet Jaguar. It reminds me of that Family Channel series "Famous Jett Jackson", which was amazing, however pretty sure the main character eventually killed himself, so now I'm starting to have second thoughts about this name as my number one choice. The fact that this name comes from gorlab, who is a bit of a legend, makes it even better. Nope, now I'm liking this pick again, and it actually goes very well with the number 3 entry.

 

Honourable Mentions: None, these are the only good names.

[diamond_ace 3,112]

Shawnomir Jagr's user has recently had Shawn Brodeur and Shawn Gretzky. It's kind of his thing

[ThePerfectNut 563]

Rip the legendary latino Aleksander Rodriguezzzzz