Koda Adok Rookie Profile [1/2]

[trevmi 21]

Player: Koda Adok

Age: 19

Position: Left Wing

Height: 73 inches

Weight: 189 pounds

Hometown: Tampa, Florida

 

 

Conversation With Agent:

*Koda's Agent* "Alright Koda, I need you to write a rookie profile about yourself."

*Koda* "Well what should it include?"

"Well it has to be 500 words, include some pros and cons about your game, and we might as well put in what scouts are saying as well."

"500 words!?! How am I supposed to do that?"

"A lot of fluff"

"Shit, I suck at writing fluff around the information. I'll just include this conversation instead."

 

Player Pros:

1. Passing

Koda is a great passer who loves to pass to his teammates. He loves making passes through tight windows to a teammate and passes to the players who have a good shot on goal. He is known to get a lot of assists throughout the season.

2. Skating

Koda is a great skater. He can make moves so sexy that the commentators will watch it and not even know what happened until they watch the replay. Koda can make people fall on their face with his moves.

"Ok, I think one more pro and then we can move on to the cons.

3. Shots

Koda is great with his shots. He loves to take at least three shots of vodka before every game so he doesn't embarrass the other team too much.

"Um, Koda, I think they meant only pros while you were on the ice."

"Oh, well scratch that last pro, I'm good at hockey, that's my third pro."

3. Hockey

Koda is good at hockey, he likes the skating and the shooting and the hitting and the scoring and the passing and the defending and...

"Koda, that's not a good third pro, and it's a run-on sentence."

"Well shit, what should I put instead?"

"Well you're good at defending"

"You're right! I'll put that!"

With Koda being a pass first player, he might not take the shot that is there and instead pass the puck to a teammate. 

2. Not The Brightest Person

Koda's a little bit slower than other people, as you likely saw through the writing of the pros. I went through and did some spellcheck and grammar check on them, but once it got to the third one, I just left it.

3. Poke Checks

Koda loves poke checks a lot. Sometimes too much as the stick will get caught in the opposing player's skates causing them to trip, thus giving Koda a two minute minor penalty for tripping.

 

What Scouts Are Saying:

"Koda is a great hockey player, but he definitely isn't the brightest player off the ice, his grit and determination makes up for it though."

-Anonymous Scout

"It was a lot of fun watching Koda play on the ice. He is able to get the puck to players with passes I didn't think would be possible, and made moves while skating that almost made me fall on my ass. The interview with him was, er, interesting to say the least. He's got great hockey IQ though."

-Different Anonymous Scout

[MrSharkFIN 7]

The conversation was there just to get those 500 words

[chillzone 231]

Review: The conversation with the agent gives this piece a fun lightness. I love the meta aspect of it, how you break the fourth wall a bit. The scout feedback is a great touch. Well done! This was fun to read, @trevmi