Bennet dahls wise beginnings

[Ben 200]

If you didn’t know Bennet dahl was born in North Korea he was raised in a orphanage no one really knew where he can from. But he was very tall and was a natural at everything that included hockey all the kids would go play their so would Bennet. But he was very bad at skating so he always go picked last and was pretty bad. But one day after 2 kids got adopted which were both goalies most of the time and the Other backup goalie or kid sadly died of a rare illness. So the kids decided to give Bennet a chance and he was to hard to score goals against and he would keep the other team to 0 goals. 
 

At first every one loved but then everyone got tired of it and  started to throw rocks at him and he stopped playing hockey for 3 years. But one day a man came which managed a league for North Korea and wanted to see what the kids here could do of course been played goalie. He was 13 at the time and he allowed zero goals then the man said he could live with him but he would have to play for them of course. Bennet said yes and that’s how it started Bennet only allowed 15 goals the whole season and won VMP after 2 years with back to back MVPs. 
 

He found his way to America and played for the Sioux Falls stampede (junior ice hockey team) where he won 2 league mvps then he decided that he should go play in the VHL it was always his dream as a kid and well now he is on that path.

But in the meantime he wanted to find his parents he did anything he could from getting info to even flying to Korea and looking for them. He just couldn’t find them but also in the process of finding them he figured out he had a brother named Benji Dahl. Who was like him he figured out he was 14 and playing for a North Korea hockey team and decided to invite him over and live with him. This also gave him a chance to ask him some questions and then he sadly figured out his dad died in a war and his mom was in prison for trying to escape the country. 
 

It was a sad time for him but he knew he had to get training for the season. He got his brother on a junior ice hockey team so he could get better and also so both of them could use the facility and before you knew it they instantly became better. His brother wasn’t as good as him but he knew he had potential so Bennett bought a mansion with his first pay check that included a ice hockey rink. So they could practice any time and that’s how Bennet got to this league in a crazy weird but good ending story.

Edited January 19, 2020 by Nothing but goals

[DollarAndADream 3,356]

On 1/14/2020 at 7:04 PM, Nothing but goals said:

If you didn’t know Ben dahl was born in North Korea he was raised in a orphanage no one really knew where he can from but he was very tall and was a natural at everything that included hockey all the kids would go play their so would Ben but he was very bad at skating so he always go picked last and was pretty bad but one day after 2 kids got adopted which were both goalie most of the time and the Other backup goalie or kid sadly died of a rare illness so the kids decided to give Ben a chance and he was to hard to score goals against and he would keep the other team to 0 goals at first every one loved but then everyone got tired of it and  started to throw rocks at him and he stopped playing hockey for 3 years but one day a man came which managed a league for North Korea and wanted to see what the kids here could do of course been played goalie he was 13 at the time and he allowed zero goals then the man said he could live with him but he would have to play for them of course Bennet said yes and that’s how it started Bennet only allowed 15 goals the whole season and won VMP after 2 years with back to back MVPs he found his why to America and played for the Sioux Falls stampede (junior ice hockey team) where he won 2 league mvps then he decided that he should go play in the VHL it was always his dream as a kid and well now he is on that path. But in the meantime he wanted to find his parents he did anything he could from getting info to even flying to Korea and looking for them he just couldn’t find them but also in the process of finding them he figured out he had a brother named Benji Dahl who was like him he figured out he was 14 and playing for a North Korea hockey team and decided to invite him over and live with him this also gave him a chance to ask him some questions and then he sadly figured out his dad died in a war and his mom was in prison for trying to escape the country it was a sad time for him but he knew he had to get training for the season he got his brother on a junior ice hockey team so he could get better and also so both of them could use the facility and before you knew it they instantly became better his brother wasn’t as good as him but he knew he had potential so Bennett bought a mansion with his first pay check that included a ice hockey rink so they could practice any time and that’s how Bennet got to this league in a crazy weird but good ending story 

Just wondering, is it possible for you to edit this a bit so it looks a little neater, with more proper grammar? It's over 500 words, so it's fine there, but it's only 2 sentences.

[Corco 1,237]

but one day after 2 kids got adopted which were both goalie most of the time and the Other backup goalie or kid sadly died of a rare illness so the kids decidedto give Ben a chance

[Ricer13 2,796]

Way to take criticism and improve your article @Nothing but goals!