VHL.com sits down with Randy Marsh

[oilmandan 686]

Recently, the VHL.com staff sat down with Las Vegas rookie defender Randy Marsh and talked to him about hockey, tegridy and his view on life's hard questions.

 

 

VHL.com: Good afternoon Randy, thanks for joining us today.

 

RM: Thanks for having me.

 

VHL.com: What are your thoughts on fighting in hockey? Some say it doesn't belong in hockey anymore?

 

RM: The players should all wear bras! And instead of helmets, they should wear little tinfoil hats, ‘cause, you know, it’s the future and we shouldn’t be so barbaric.

 

VHL.com: So... No to fighting?

 

RM: I'm sorry, I thought this was America!! I do believe in fighting, it's one of my favourite parts of life, if hockey didn't have it, we may as well just completely change the sport and rename it sarcastaball.

 

VHL.com: Good point. How have you felt about recent accusations that dressing room drinking has caused the current Las Vegas Aces slide?

 

RM: I’m not chugging beer! I’m sampling a flight of gluten-free German lagers with a French wine pairing! It’s called a smorgaswein and it’s elegantly cultural. And in no way does that affect my play, I'm already one of the elite rookies in this upcoming draft.

 

VHL.com: You seem to have a very controversial side occupation, has the VHLM spoken with you about it? Or are you not concerned?

 

RM: I’ll make less money, sure, but as long as I buy everything at WalMart, it’ll all even out. Don’t you see? WalMart isn’t our enemy, it’s our neighborhood friend.

 

VHL.com: Umm, we actually meant your marijuana farm, you know? Tegridy farms?

 

RM: There’s plenty of other interesting things you can do. Have you ever tried marijuana? Maybe it’s time. We don't just produce marijuana and hemp products, we also sell Rocky Mountain cocaine. Rocky Mountain cocaine isn't smuggled either, so the only ass it'll be up is yours! Tegridy cocaine, from farm to nostril.

 

VHL.com: Uh huh, changing gears, hockey always seems to be pushing out the old guard for whats new and exciting, players careers seem to be getting shorter and shorter, even the VHL has a limit of 8 seasons in a career now, any thoughts on that?

 

RM: They took their job? They've taken my job..

 

Random people appearing out of nowhere: They took our jerbs! Thy tuk ma jeb!! Tik mjub!!! Derka duuu!!!!

 

JUST SOME OF OUR "UNEXPECTED" GUESTS

 

VHL.com: What, where did all you come from, get out of here now!.... Well that was most unusual. One last question as we are almost out of time, do you have any advice for young players just getting their first cheques from their VHLM teams?

 

RM: Yea, it is an angry and unforgiving Economy. To repent we must stop frivolous spending! Instead of paying for cable, let us watch clouds! Instead of buying clothes, wear but sheets from thine beds! Cut spending to only the bare essentials! Water and bread and margaritas, yea.

 

VHL.com: Ok, what about all the usage of social media in the league, is it too much for the leagues own good?

 

RM: If we don't treat the internet with the RESPECT.. that it deserves, it could one day be gone forever. 

 

VHL.com: Well you are an interesting man Mr. Marsh, we thank you for your time and your colourful opinions. Some of these questions sure seemed to "affect" you.

 

RM: Ahhh oh! Uhh, that was a, that was a ghost! This is ectoplasm! Did you see the ghost??? It ran through here, it, it slimed me! It wasn't me it was a spooky ghost! 
 

[gorlab 4,321]

Someone draft this man first overall. 

[NotAVHLM-GM 1,858]

A full career please @oilmandan , this is golden