The Traveling O'Quinn circus!

[David O'Quinn 115]

Extra, extra! Vancouver bench warmer David O'Quinn has been traded for a bag of pucks! After promising to turn him into a 'star', the team made him wear a tiny little star on his head while being the official bench warmer! For the whole season, that poor [this line has been censored courtesy of our editors, thank us later]! We were going to tell you, 'The masses were asking 'what's next for the Canadian bench warmer?', but honestly, no one cares! The Canadian blueliner has been nothing but a wide-spread disappointment, picking up only 4 darn stinking points in the playoffs this year! What a shame, he seemed to have so much potential. At least, that's what my editor tells me. What, you think I watch this garbage sport? Grown men throwing hissy fits at eachother?! I'll have you know I frequent r/ihatesports ball, good sir or madam! and I am proud of it!

 

(all satire, dont hurt me)