Letang and the Balcony

[Spartan 4,531]

 

We have a very interesting theme week this season, one that I honestly didn't see coming and for that reason, am writing this article and not recording a podcast. After all, a podcast would have to be 30 minutes of pretending to like traveling and vacationing somewhere, and with who? When? How? Too many logistics and options to try to cover, and I'd rather just write a semi-humorous article about the best vacation spot as Olli Maatta of the Penguins has demonstrated - the balcony.

 

Alex Letang is having a fine season for Moscow. Defensively, our core is performing insanely well, with Letang and Davis in the top 5 of defensemen scoring, and Breeze Ladrian and Fat Palloon also chipping in offensively to help Moscow on their dominant performance so far this season. The trades in the offseason and the effective moves have led us to here, where the team is just meshing well in the locker room and has experienced a flawless transition from starting netminder Raymond Bernard and captain Nate Telker to new starter Jacob Tonn and new captain Alex Letang. However, we all know the rigors of a full VHL season, and all of the effort that goes into it, from both a user and player perspective. Therefore, what we all need, and specifically, what Alex Letang needs, is a casual retreat to the lovely balcony.

 

Now, what is the story of the balcony? After one of the Penguins' championship parades, don't know if it was the 2016 or 2017 win (but back to back baby!), poor Olli was gassed. Had too many beers, celebrated too hard, whatever it was, but homeboy just passed out on a couch on a balcony. And look at him! The babyfaced lad looks so at peace. Here's why the balcony is the best vacation spot:

 

1.  That jersey has got to be stinky as fuck. Imagine playing all season, that jersey be STANKY. You get on a balcony, put the jersey downwind from you, and you get a nice breeze to air it out and let the fresh air "clean" that jersey as best as possible. Plus, with the jersey off, our dear Alex gets to just chill in the brisk air without feeling too toasty.
2. Balcony = fresh air. Instead of being in a locker room that also stinks, or somewhere in the facility, you get to sit outside on a high story balcony and be outside without having to deal with really being outside. Can walk back inside the apartment/hotel room should you choose to, there's protection over your head to protect you from the elements, it's just a good place to be.
3. That sofa. Look at Maatta. His arm is outstretched, just vibing, with the sofa perfectly supporting his arm as he flops onto cloud 9. Any player would be lucky to have that sofa to rest their arm on, get some support for their shoulder as they carry the weight of their team.

 

Now, this is all I have to say about this. I hope you all understand the superiority that the balcony holds as a vacation spot. Time to go throw back a beer.

[JigglyGumballs 1,056]

7 minutes ago, Spartan said:

STANKY

STANKY

[Laine 1,361]

1 hour ago, JigglyGumballs said:

STANKY

STANKY

[Bobo 514]

2 hours ago, Spartan said:

STANKY

stonki 

[Ledge 1,131]

2 hours ago, Spartan said:

STANKY

it be reeeeeeel STANKY