Satanic Goalie Equipment
Sell your soul to the devil and play with the best damn goalie equipment in the league. Spokesman and retired VHL goaltender, Satan helped develop some of this equipment and here is what he had to say. " Satanic pads has without a doubt the lightest wear on the market. I was always led to believe it was Bauer, but I was wrong. This is a pad that has really taken me for a 180. This company that I wondered how they were still in business cause they made one of the worst products on the market, is quickly becoming my favorite gear I’ve ever used".
GOAT Socks
Have you ever wanted to be the GOAT? Well, this is the closest you will ever come. Buy a pair of goat fur lines hockey socks for the most comfort you can ever have during a game. Jasper Canmore had this to say on the product. "You know a lot of the guys these days are going the cut resistant way for their socks which is fine and all but I'd rather be comfortable than safe, to be honest with you." If you value comfort over safety get to your nearest Dick's Sporting Goods and pick yourself up a pair.
Stopko Visor
Have you ever been so hung over, come game day that you wished you had a nice shiny reflective visor like the NFL players have? Well, now you can with the Norris Stopko approved reflective visor. Let's hear from our spokesperson Norris Stopko on the product. "Well, I can tell you this, when you are hung over the last thing you want to listen to is coach screaming at you. Now with this new visor, he can't even see my eyes. I can have in-game naps now and nobody is the wiser. This could be the best thing to happen to goaltending since the creation of the goalie mask.