Seventy-Four

Ew, what the fuck is this shit, Meow? You really crossed the line this time. Nah, I was lying with the title. Stop Victor 2014 is by far the best thing I've ever done.

TOR LW1 contract will be expiring at the end of this season. The Toronto Legion have 3 more attempts available to try to sign my client to an extension before he goes off to free agency. The market value for his services is currently a 1-year contract worth a total of $1,375,000, which equals $1,375,000 per season. My Client has played for 0 team(s) this season. He would only listen to 2 more team for possible extension talks. Toronto better get on that! Would be sad if they lost their franchise player.

WHAT HAVE I CREATED?!

THERE WAS ONLY 30 PICKS in the Season 35 VHLM Dispersal Draft. Despite the low amount of prospects, the draft was choke full of future VHL stars, most namely Connor Low who got drafted fifth overall by the Ottawa Lynx. Low is already shattering records at the VHL level and is the current captain of the New York Americans. Looking up and down the list, you'll find some shiners. Brick Wahl (Saskatoon), Mike Szatkowski Jr (Ottawa), Xin Xei Xao (Saskatoon), both Robin Gow and Robin Gow III (Ottawa). However, that's where it ends. Know any of these names? Prizza Dringus? Oli Brunnstrom? Markus Klingemann? You don't know any of them, but they were all drafted before 29th overall pick, Hanz Backenbauer who was drafted with his brother, Franz, by the Brampton Blades with the very last picks in Season 35. Bern, Ottawa and Vasteras instead 'passed' on their picks instead of taking the Backenbauer brothers and Oslo passed on them twice. Brampton however, Brampton saw something. Something special. No one will ever claim Hanz is the best VHLM player to ever play, but it's hard to deny the effect he had on not only the Blades, but the city of Brampton as a whole. He had a 'show-time' sort of personality and something about him made him lovable. He spend his free days volunteering at charities, meeting local kids and doing public speeches at schools. Season 35 was an interesting one, despite having a good season, the Blades failed to make the playoffs. Hanz was a team best +21 despite playing over 30 minutes a game. The next season, Season 36, Hanz was drafted late in the VHL draft by the failing Vasteras Iron Eagles. He was sent down for Season 36 and was made captain of the Blades and led the sinking ship to last place in the VHLM. Hanz played alongside inactives who could care less, but it didn't stop Hanz from playing his heart out each and every night, and was quietly an inspiration for the city of Brampton and right then, he took the reigns as the franchise player. He couldn't go outside without fans mobbing him and complimenting his play in a 6-0 loss. Hanz would laugh, make a joke, give the fan a hug (or if was a girl over 16, a kiss. He was a player), sign whatever they need, take a picture and stroll away. Many players shyed away from media, but upon realizing he was the Brampton Blades' only hope, he embraced it. So, you can only guess the reaction of Blades' fan when they heard their captain and golden boy had been traded to Turku, to become a Turku Outlaw. He left the Blades with virtually nothing, a pregnant wife and a lot of mixed emotions. He was happy to be on a competitive team, but he didn't speak a word of Finnish and though he hated to admit it, he loved being with the Brampton 'Bombers', it was his home. Hanz thought he would be forgotten. Hanz was wrong. Hunter and Hudson, Hanz's two sons, were both drafted to Brampton and Hanz hopes they can deliver the cup to the city that deserved it the most -- the Brampton Blades. Hanz was surprised when he dropped his kids off at their new apartment. Fans were swarming him, screaming and crying. It was just like old times, Hanz gave them an affection hug and shed some very manly tears. The tears turned into a waterfall when the Brampton Blades announced number 4 would be retired in honor of their previous captain. They will hang it high and the banner will be in company of some legends, and Hanz is hopeful in a few years time, his sons' banners will be right beside his. 637 words 3531 characters

Hudson Backenbauer - #44 - Brampton Blades (VHLM)

Because it's Toast, this will backfire miserably.

FINALLY FINISHED MY SCIENCE SHIT THANK THE FUCKING LORD But I tanked it.

So, Seattle is like:

"When we were told that we would be playing on the same line, I truly could not believe it," said Hudson Backenbauer. FALSE I NEVER SAID THIS HOAX THE ARTICLE IS UNRELIABLE

Good, we're finally getting rid of Victor!

I didn't ask for your life story.

Fagots gotta be fed what the fuck. And Mike, you know what is up.

Support the victims of Victor's stupidity today by liking the above post.

Victor is eating popcorn in a time of crisis. I think his commissioner ability really needs to be called into question.

I am a person of peace, I will not spew hatred. I come in peace under certain conditions. Most of you know Victor, the British boy who's probably obsessed with One Direction and cheers for Chelsea (ew), well the 12 year old fucked me up and fucked my family up. He made me a deal -- I find the VHLM Draft Order, he gives me 3 TPE. I did just that with help with fever, METIS, and others. I have a family I need to feed with TPE, this is not a motherfucking game. He is refusing to pay me for my efforts and is laughing like a dwarf. All I ask is I get my TPE and he is whipped accordingly. - A very TPE Hungry member

That he is.

Please count for this week. Thanks!

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! OH REALLY STAHP YOU'RE FLATTERING ME!

What is this Snub thing anyway?

I meant she's very young, like 10.

The VHLM is the younger sister with herpes.

Draper and Slobo are two fantastic picks for the Titans.

Okay, it was just a thought.

I would like to apply. I like to think of myself as a good writer, I got a 96 in creative writing and when I try my best (which I would most certainly do if I am a VHLM magazine writer) I know I could compose quality work. I am fairly active and have yet to hold a job the VHL. As for original ideas, I would like to do an interview with a VHLM player that has flown under the radar or is my opinion, underrated and/or undervalued. I will say though, I don't like throwing statistics out there when writing, I have a story approach and add statistics here and there.

"FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-TE_Ys4iwM