Mongoose87

Tough guys - what a great opportunity for me to harp on one of my go-to pet peeves. The Victory Hockey League is not fair to tough guys. It is setting them up to fail. How so? The ways are two fold. First, it is rooted in a problem inherent in hockey itself. What happens to a player that fights? They are sent to the sin bin to think about how bad they've been for five minutes. Fine, that's nothing new. But what happens in those five minutes? The team is forced to play without that player. In the VHL that could mean playing with five forwards instead of six, not so bad, or it could mean playing with as few as two defensemen. Sure, both teams pay this price for the fight, but if the fighter is one of a team's high TPA players, then that's a very steep price. At best, fighting is a wash, but realistically, it's disadvantageous. And how do players end up participating in this disadvantage? Oh, just by spending their hard- earned TPE . What a goddamned newbie trap. I think there should be an element of skill in building a player, but I don't think there should be pitfalls that allow a user to invest in making their player worse. That's bad game design and that's how you lose new users. When you are capped in how much TPE you can reel in for a given week, it should not be possible to invest that in self penalizing. What's the second way tough guys are mistreated in the VHL? Hitting. It's a counterproductive strategy. Obviously the logic behind hitting is that a player invests in hitting to use their body to physically remove their opponents from puck possession, thereby giving their own team more chances to take the puck for themselves. This would be sound logic, except that there's an issue. Data suggests that our *cough* beloved Simon T Hockey Sim calls penalties on players that hit at a rate too high to be worthwhile. The players may produce more turnovers, but this is balanced out by giving the opposition more power plays. Once again, this is a newbie trap and not great game design. I have been raising this problem at every opportunity that I feel like it. I have yet to hear anyone suggest a better solution than the one I am about to outline. I would really like to hear from anyone that has one. Please, tag me. My solution? Change fighting and hitting from attributes that are invested in, like all the rest (except experience) and make them sliders that are set by the user at player creation and can be pushed up or down by up to a certain amount each season. For example, let's say I start my next player's career with fighting at 75. Now, while he has low TPE in the VHL, he'll be able to take a more valuable player away from his opponents. But, each season I will reduce his fighting by 5, so that once he is a high TPA player, and costing his team a lot of money, he will no longer remove himself from games by fighting.

20. I'm going on vacation for a week and a half. 21. Mostly complain about daylight savings time. 23. I want to follow up my postseason success with a good regular season and another great postseason. 27. I found the Toronto Legion and Prague Phantoms branding least apt for amusing parody, so them. 28. Considering the way real life professional sports is, they're both going in LA and they'll have really boring names like the LA Apes or LA Skates. 29. Sugar is really bad for your mental health. Except for maple syrup.

1. It feels pretty goddammed good. 2. Honestly, thought it was a long shot. Not impossible, I just didn't see us as favorites. 4. In the season? 35. Severe underperformance as the top TPE G. In the post- season? 90. Still a few messy games to clean up, but overall a great performance. 5. Figure out what changed in Giorgiy between the regular season and playoffs. 8. I wouldn't change it. They're not very long here and a little down time is nice. 10. Giorgiy will be taking out back home in a failed attempt to get his father's approval.

Claim for part 2

The trade deadline is here, again. That means I'm writing a media spot instead of claiming welfare - again. I hope you're all ready for some brain dead bullshit with no relationship to the real world - AGAIN Coincidentally, the subject of this media is related to that bullshit you've all come to expect from me - dead weight. When you think about the trade deadline, everyone tends to jump to examining the possible additions that could help a team make major improvements. Yeah, those are real possibilities. In a salary cap league, it's very rare for a team to have no weaknesses, and if they do, it's often at the cost of having no true strengths, which is paradoxically a weakness itself. Well, on account of that very dynamic, there's an opposite side to that trade deadline coin - there are the players a team can shed to improve themselves at the deadline. For those of us who are unaware, the league rules create a direct relationship between three TPA of a player and their salary. The upshot of this is that an underperforming player, especially a player with a high TPA, can have a serious detriment on their team. That player is occupying ice time and salary cap space that could otherwise be given to players who are living up to expectations. There are a few different categories of players that might present this problem for a team. The Goon: It’s a classic hockey archetype - the ice bound warrior who fights and checks and lays it all on the line. There's a problem here, though. If you check my history, you can see some non- bullshit articles I've written about how the league is unfairly structured for these players. For one thing, investing TPE in improving Fighting does not improve a player's fighting ability, just propensity. Furthermore, when a player fights, they're unavailable for at least five minutes. That's a long time in a league where teams try to roll six forwards and four defense. For another thing, there is some debate around whether hits are actually good. I tend to fall on the side that they cause more penalties to the hitter than the takeaways they produce are worth. So, the goon, in order to live up to their archetype, must invest precious TPE in two attributes that could actually be harmful to their performance. Ouch. And their team will have to pay them more for it. Sorry, goon, you're getting shipped off to Warsaw. It's been fun. The Build Planned with Ineptitude: I'm sorry to be insulting to our poorly researched friends in the league, but we all know that it's no secret. Some builds are just better than others. The meta is a fair amount more murky, since the implementation of hybrid attributes, and I think we can all agree that this loss of clarity was good for the long- term health of the league, even if some of our planned builds were torpedoed by the implementation. But, still, there are some decisions that can make players of similar TPA levels perform extremely differently. We've all see the common mistakes - Passing and Scoring too closely balanced. Neglect of Defense in a forward. Neglect of Skating in anyone. There's some less common ones, like using too much Wrist Shot. Let's be honest - most of the time, a good GM is going to shoot a quick little DM into these players’ inbox and politely suggest some minor changes to help salvage their build. But if they're not playing ball or of it didn't have the desired effect, well, this is a competitive sport, and Helsinki has a high TPA forward in his last season who would really like to get a ring before he retires. So long and thanks for all the fish. Please don't take this personally. It's not you, it's me. Well, it's not you, it's your build. Players Who Have Personally Been Cursed by the Bastard God Simon T: Hmm, did that come across a little too personally? I can't imagine why. It's not as though I have the highest TPA player at a position with a perfectly reasonable build who was selected by multiple people as a strong candidate for multiple awards this season, yet somehow can't even manage to crack the top ten in save percentage. Oh, did you hear about that? I wonder if it's because I'm finding every opportunity to complain about it in any sim league I participate in. Did I even shoehorn it into an SHL PT? Would I do that? Yes, I would. Look , the fact is that there are some players who appear to have reasonably well planned builds, are being deployed intelligently by their teams’ GMs, and are playing with God line mates, yet seem to consistently under deliver in results. For example, Seattle goaltender, Giorgiy Costanzov, Mongoose87's current player. Oh, you heard about that guy? Listen, I'm very much not the sort of person to put stock in curses. I am rational to the point of boredom, at times. But, if the build is fine and the usage is fine and the supporting cast is fine, but the results are continually poor, what the heck is even left? Seriously, that is not a rhetorical question. Please tell me what else could be to blame, I'd be pulling my hair out, if I had any left. At a certain point, what choice does the GM have? It's not responsible to let one player's curse sink the whole team. Pull the trigger and end the suffering (please do not do this Bana). Maybe you'll get a good prospect for your seasons of frustration. Maybe the change of scenery will remove the curse from the player. I don't know. I'm too rational to understand the mechanics of curses. Those are the three principal forms of dead weight players that teams should shed at the trade deadline. A truly talented GM will manage to not just shed their dead weight, but to do so in exchange for better players, thereby doubling the magnitude of their improvement.

48. It's fine. Could be worse, but we've had better ideas. 49. Institute corporal punishment. 51. Sure, growing the league helps all of our participants. 52. D - not a total disaster, but for his TPA, he should be much better. 55. I like watching my imaginary man's numbers go up. 56. No, I have too many Discord servers to keep an eye on as is.

38. There's this soup joint, the owner is an absolute master. 40. I'll always have a soft spot for Miami, since I was on their inaugural roster. 41. I9'd like to play up to my TPA. 42. I don't now, but I'm going to make it the most annoying phone call of his life. 43. Giorgiy's Gerky - you Can't Standov to put it down! 44. Look, I've got IBS and I'm lactose intolerant. I'm bee- lining it for the can for everyone's sake.

Fuck you Simon T

30. 3/10. I think I'm the highest TPE G in the league and I'm pretty bad. 31. We're looking pretty solid if the above improves. 33. We're gonna to to actually have a date this month. 35. Respond to my emails more quickly. 36. Mandatory participation. If you to IA, we get your ISP to cancel your service. 37. What, the other one wasn't good enough for you?

Twelve is the five of two digit numbers

These days go to eleven.

Watch. He's going to do something stupid.

Nien, nien, nien, nien, nien, nien, nien!

You remind me of the baby.