JCarson

Okay we have had a few strange press conferences so I am going to go back to something a little more normal. We are going to play a game of Team awards, but they are not going to be traditional awards Name the London United Player who wins the following awards and why you chose them: 1) Which player can eat an entire buffet restaurant by themselves? 2) Which player is most likely to forget their phone on the plane? 3) Which players sings the loudest in the shower? 4) Which player is most likely to swear at the refs? 5) Which player is most likely to own a horse? 6) Which player is most likely to pee in the swimming pool at the hotel? Remember use full sentences and explain your answer.

Article Review: I tend to pick articles that I can give very positive reviews about but in this instance I need to put my foot down. Early in this article the Author notes: The London United locker room Discord avatar has been a picture of a cat for the last three seasons. I must make it known that the cat in the locker room is the actual Molly the Cat, that cute muted Calico is the one and only Molly the Cat and as Empress of Everything must remind the author to show the proper respect. Now that this has been fully noted, we give this article a 9/10, great article, great idea and great teamwork getting Triller to make a logo.

Article Review: It appears we have a building mystery in the league. I look forward to seeing how this builds, how the identities of this mystery are revealed. I can only imagine that there is a long standing plan that is finally coming to reality. We shall see how this unfolds over the next few drafts. I expect that we will see and hear more as the seasons unfold. I for one am waiting. I give this fun future looking article a 9/10 we need more mystery in the league, intrigue for the future.

With the break in the VHL Molly the Cat took a couple of days to travel back home and visit friends and family before the season 90 playoffs began. After a long private flight and a quick nap, Moly the Cat went on a road trip with some friends. Now if you ever get to visit southern Ontario a trip to the Niagara Region is necessary. Outside of the obvious visit to Niagara Falls there is so much to do in the area. From wineries, breweries, and distilleries to a plethora of farm produce, to museums, historical sites, and cultural experiences. Niagara has plenty to offer. Yet when you are from the Niagara Region a road trip does not constitute seeing the same old things. In this instance, Molly the Cat and their friends took a trip down the QEW to Burlington. After a quick stop at the mall, a jump over to Ikea and a few purchases later it was lunch time. One of Molly the Cat’s friends suggested going to this hole in the wall diner that serves foot long hotdogs. Now Molly the Cat very rarely eats hotdogs as they are not the best source of nutrition but agreed to the experience. So, after a quick trip down Plains Road, they found themselves at Eastbrook Hotdog Stand. A small roadside shack built in the style of an olden style diner, including long stooled bar and a couple tables. The patrons over the years have carved their names into everything, in fact Molly the Cat even found names engraved in the glass of the windows. What was not engraved was covered in historic memorabilia and/or business cards that look like some of them may have been around since the diner opened in 1930. After reviewing the long, varied menu Molly that Cat ordered a hotdog, fries, and a chocolate peanut butter milkshake. Specifically, Molly the Cat ordered a hot dog with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and garlic Aioli. After a brief wait, talking at one of the tables, the orders were delivered. Molly the Cat was incredibly pleased with the experience at Eastbrook’s and would highly recommend that if you find yourself in the Burlington area take the opportunity to stop in and enjoy a meal. You won’t regret it. It was a quick visit back to Canada filled with Family and Fun. Molly the Cat has made their way back to Europe and is fully prepared for the play in series against Helsinki. It was an uneventful flight and Molly the Cat is feeling re-invigored by the experience. Molly the Cat is prepared to face Helsinki and then looks at putting up a great playoff push in the European Conference. Good luck to all the teams in the Season 90 playoffs, Molly the Cat is going to give everything again this playoff and is looking at making a second run at the Continental Cup. Season 90 is a historical season, and everyone is looking at placing their name on the cup, Molly the Cat, and the London United plan to earn that privilege or making sure that whatever team is named has earned that right.

I have been doing an ongoing analysis of Molly the Cat’s performance and comparing it to several factors to determine if there is anything that can be learned and applied to help people perform better. This involved looking at factors such as shot performance, time on ice, special teams play to determine if the results of the top players in the league can provide statistical evidence to assist in player builds. The analysis showed some interesting items but nothing that could provide any statistical proof on how to build a top performing player. Then Theme week hit, my GM made a slight change, and we came to game 295 in the season. London played New York and won 3-2. Nothing spectacular but over the next week of sims London went 16-2 with a 14-game winning streak. Molly the Cat went into a tear and put up an amazing 34 points, 22 goals and 12 assists in that time. That is more than 2 points per game. Then we came to game 441, nothing changed on the roster and the last 19 games London ended 5-14, Molly the Cat’s production tanked with only 4 goals and 8 assists in those 19 games. The complete devastating turn around in production had absolutely no explanation but in the matter of a blink of an eye Molly the Cat went from pushing top 5 in season production to being a minor note in the league's statistical records. So, I must wonder if STHS has some sort of vendetta for Molly the Cat. Was this some sort of sick joke that the system is playing? Here, have some hope. Nope you suck, sorry for your luck. So, I must ask WTF Simon

So I was just watching a show and their was a Dad joke told, Guy turns to his vet, and asks, do you ever get people bringing in dogs with fevers. The Vet says sure we do. The guy says, do you ever treat them with mustard. The vet, perplexed says, No, why do you ask. The guy says because mustard makes hot dogs better. So in tribute of dad jokes and other "pun" ishable statements we are going to play a round of finish this sentence, London United edition. 1) Okay so finish this story, Two London United Forwards enter a bar .... 2) Two London United Bot players were sitting around after practice, one says to the other ... 3) It is the second intermission, the game is tied and Jacob is giving a rousing intermission speech. "Let's go out there and ... 4) The local newspaper prints a headline about the London United it read " London United team caught... 5) I want creativity on this one " Molly the Cat is suspended by team for ..." 6) Lastly I want you to write a limerick about London United or a player on London United (be nice or at least funny)

London United are releasing a statement. Earlier this week the VHL anti-drug division visited London claiming they received a tip suggesting that Molly the Cat has been taking performance enhancing drugs in season 90. London United and Molly the Cat deny that any such activity has been going on. London United and Molly the Cat fully co-operated with the investigation, providing all documentation requested and providing the required blood and urine samples. London United and Molly the Cat have nothing to hide and find this false accusation to be horribly misguided. Today the results of the drug testing of Molly the Cat have been released by the VHL medical committee and as expected Molly the Cat has been cleared of these allegations. After in depth and complete scrutiny the VHL medical committee have found no evidence of performance enhancing drugs within any of the test completed. The VHL is fully satisfied with the investigation and has closed the file related to this allegation. The VHL has noted that it will pursue investigations into the original allegation. The investigation found no evidence or even any level of activity that could be misunderstood to be drug administration by the London United staff or drug use by Molly the Cat. As such the VHL is concerned that the allegation was being used to professional target and slander Molly the Cat, this form of character assassination cannot be tolerated. A full investigation will ensue to determine where the allegation came from and if disciplinary action is required. The VHL takes matters of Drug related offenses very seriously and has in depth procedures related to drug reporting and player discipline. The drug reporting mechanisms are taken very seriously by the VHL as professional misconducts as it relates to drug use are not tolerated. As a response to this recent event the VHL has determined it is a suitable time to repost its’ drug testing policy on the VHL website for all teams and players awareness. They made special note that as the VHL approaches the playoffs, standard random drug testing will increase throughout the league for teams who will be advancing. The VHL takes their reputation as the world’s top Hockey league very seriously and will do everything within their power to protect that reputation. London United thank the VHL for their diligence in ensuring the league is protected and fair as it comes to player performance, they also thank the league for finalizing their investigation quickly and closing the books on this false allegation quickly. Molly the Cat and London United look forward to putting this behind them and getting back to playing hockey, with the tight race for third in the European conference, distractions of this nature are unwelcome. Molly the Cat looks forward to the final eight games of the season where they hope to put together a string of great games for the fans, look forward to working with the other London United players to secure the third playoff spot in the conference and finally look forward to sharing the playoffs with the London United Fans

Article Review: You can tell a lot of work went into making this media spot, finally something that deserves the TPE it is awarded. The graphs make the article easy to read and help convey the data succinctly. Well done. Unfortunately like a lot of analysis that has been done on the VHLE I think it fails to come to any sort of definitive conclusion. I expect that is because there are was too many factors involved to look a t a couple key components and make a final conclusion. I appreciate the effort and so give the article a 9/10.

On the heals of this years theme week this article sets up the next potential claim of I was FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY. There is still time left and we have someone predicting the MVP for season 90, maybe they are right, maybe the last seven to eight games will see a dark horse or a clear potential as listed in the article make a Hail Mary attempt and pull of the improbable. Al I can say is someone is going to win the award, and when the vote is done the BOG will believe that person deserved it. Good Luck on the MVP to everyone listed and to any dark horses out there. I give this article a 9/10, way to set up the next article for the easy TPE.

Does it really matter? We are down to the last handful of games in the season. Depending on who you are, at the point I write this teams have either seven or eight games left. However, looking at the standings it doesn’t look like those seven to eight games will make a difference in who makes the playoffs. Okay, so someone will point out that it makes a difference in determining third and fourth in each conference, and I will give you that. In the North American Conference, it is a tight race with both Las Angeles and Vancouver sitting at 86 points with both having eight games left. It will be a fight for sure. But they will both play post season hockey, they will both be fighting for the Continental Cup, nothing can take that away from them in the next eight games. In the European conference it is much the same, short of a highly improbable collapse of either Riga or London and a near perfect trajectory of Malmo the conference is set. Riga and London will continue to battle for third and fourth position currently divided by one point. Helsinki stands to take fifth and the first and second position have been pretty much guaranteed since the first week of sims. With very little to change in the playoff forecast I would have to argue it doesn’t really matter. We have our playoff contenders; what we must do now is sort out third and fourth and then get on with the playoffs. To those who have been eliminated I am sorry this can be a very boring time of year, to those who have made the cut, good luck.

We are going to play a game of "No true answers" Each answer to the following questions must not be true, remember to use full sentences 1) Why did you join the VHL? 2) Which team would you choose to never join and why? 3) Why do you think that London has gone on a 12 game win streak? 4) If you had to rename the London United what would you name the team? Any reason why? 5) Tell me your naughtiest secret? 6) If you could eliminate one food from existence, what would that be and why?

As one of the individuals who got caught not knowing that the use of the S word would be substituted for the mentioned expression related to circus monkeys I am in full agreement with this article. Old jokes aside (even if they are funny) the creation of a safe environment for all needs to be considered. The Code of Conduct has been written to ensure that and has been enforced with bans for similar content. I give this article a 10/10 for standing up for what they consider decent and right. Well done.

Article Review: The toughest place to be in the league is 5th. Not knowing if you will hold on to the last spot to play into the playoffs or if you will find yourself on the outside waiting for an extended offseason to bore you into submission. It always makes the team and players think of all the options, the opportunities and the potential failures. This article is a great expression of the tension, which decision is best, which decision moves a team and a player forward in their career, and which option ends up with individuals feeling like the have been FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY. I give this article a 9/10, no snubbing from me.

Something is changing in London. I am not willing to divulge the whole truth in this article but anyone who has been paying attention for the last few seasons knows that London has been having some issues scoring. Players and GM have been working on a variety of things from line changes to TPA boosts. Unfortunately, extraordinarily little seemed to help. Scoring was below average and sporadic. Until now. Something has happened. Something no-one could have predicted. As I said I am not at the point of divulging what that is. It will be a secret within the London dressing room for some time. But there has been an explosion and London is taking the VHL by storm. Scoring is up dramatically and in particular Molly the Cat has erupted productively, followed very closely by linemate Leonard Triller. Due to the London offensive explosion, the locker room is excited. Could London mount a comeback, noting they were in 7th position within the conference just a brief time ago. And now they sit in 4th only 3 points away from 3rd with a game at hand. Could London truly prove that they can compete in the league, that they aren’t an underdog but are a competitive force? The rest of this season will be London’s proving ground, but one thing is for certain, the remaining teams of the VHL, especially those in the European conference better pay attention. London is coming, they are coming on strong and are preparing to prove that they are a contender in the league. Something has changed. Beware, for we are United.

This season’s theme week is about being FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY. The technical definition of the word FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY is to rebuff, ignore or to spurn disdainfully. I hope over this article to make an argument that one particular entity is responsible for much of the Snubbing that goes on in the league. What could that entity be and how can it be responsible for creating a significant amount of Snubbing that goes on in the league. The entity I want to discuss is Simon, STHS itself. You may be wondering why I would argue that the system we use to run the league is responsible for snubbing the players who use it. Here are my reasons why I believe that Simon is responsible: The version of the STHS software that we use tends to overlook and ignore certain characteristics resulting in players focusing on a small group of Meta builds. This results in limited variability in players and a system where the highest TPE score wins. This then causes a system where General Managers of teams' snub anyone who isn’t a top TPE player. This has become so prevalent that we have adjusted our language in reference to players (Max earners, Inactive, Welfare, Welfare Plus). The software creates a necessity to snub players based on build and TPE earning. The mentality created by STHS becomes even more prevalent in the draft. Recreates are deemed more worthy of drafting over first generation, because they have better knowledge of the Meta and tend to remain active for longer. This results in first generation players feeling distanced and undervalued, which may result in the self fulfilling prophesy that first generation players become inactive. It should not be surprising that if you ignore and demean someone long enough that they soon disappear and become inactive on your sight. Let us move away from TPE earnings and look at STHS game output. The player statistics measured within a game tend to favor offensive related players. Defensive minded players have minimal documented and tracked statistics to measure their play. Why don’t we have tracking on pass interceptions, turnovers caused, Defensive zone possession, defensive zone clearing and a variety of important and impactful information. The reason we don’t track these statistics is because STHS snubs defensiveness. My last point, the previous three points, result in the greatest snubbing of them all, the hatred of the VHLE. VHLE players are the culminating argument of the structure of the VHLE. They tend to be low earning, non-meta, first-generation dropouts with no measurable offensive output. And so, the rest of the VHL scorns them and ignores them, unless it is time to pick on them and treat them like the black sheep of the VHL. I hope I have been able to express how I believe the STHS system creates the very environment that most of the snubbing comes from. STHS is an unavoidable but necessary evil, it allows us to run the league, but it creates the very structures that cause so much of the snubbing that goes on in the VHL. Have you been FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY by Simon?

If we are going to discuss S88 playoffs it is by far Teno, Marcel Janser

@Beketov Does it have to be a player or can we discuss how one particular GM in his first year (Season 88) in the VHL takes underdog London United to the Championships and wins it all but is ignored for the GM of the year award.

I was involved in a conversation this past week with a few members of the VHL community. We were talking about things to write about for TPE, about goings on within the league and about members that put in way more time and effort than most people would even realize. As a result of that conversation, I am going to write this article about one particular person, Spartan. Now I will admit that I personally know very little about Spartan, I know they are one of two VHLM commissioners but other than that any things I know have resulted from the very few interactions I have had with them. No, I am not going to recap how Spartan gave Dil a poor draft rating for choosing Molly the Cat (the rookie of the year winner) in the season 84 draft, or how among all the task approvers it is only Spartan that calls me out if things aren’t perfectly to the requirements for TPE. This article is going to be to say thank you for what you do, and recently it seems that you are doing a lot. Spartan is one of those people who are always answering questions for anyone (not just newcomers), is pointing people in the right direction when it comes to player builds and trivia answers. If anything should be said it is that Spartan goes above and beyond to make sure that everything is fair within the league, that everyone has a chance to have fun and contribute. Thank you for everything you do. Without people like you this league wouldn’t be what it is.

Postings that look at things from a different perspective are always enjoyable to read. Having by chance been in the locker room during the conversation that this refers to it is more interesting to see how the thought patterns expressed led to this article and yet were completely different at the same time. It is true we are all here for different reasons, have different backgrounds and different connections. Working in an industry for which referrals make up a large part of my new business I may suggest that our biggest recruitment possibility lies outside social media and more in the hands of our members telling people they already know about this fun thing they found in the VHL. I give this article a 9/10 for creativity.

I always like to read about new and interesting options for theme week, I expect that those who are in charge are really finding it difficult to come up with new and interesting options. All of these options are potentially viable in my opinion (which doesn't count for anything) and could work in both visual and story format. I like this article, I give it a 9/10. Although the title would probably need reworking if being used I think the first option is a unique spin to allow for players who don't generally get recognized to have their accomplishments spoken about.

We are half way through the season and have a 15-16-4 record with 80GF and 92GA. 1) Do you think we will have more than 15 Goals in the second half of the season, any reasons why you think this? 2 Will we have more or less than 16 losses in the second half, why do you think this? 3) Will we have more than 80 goals in the second half, why? 4) Will we have more or less than 92 goals against in the second half, why? 5) We sit fourth in the conference, do you expect this to improve, decline or stay the same, why? 6) Which player on London will have the best second half of the season, why?

We now sit halfway through the season, most teams have played 36 games, a few like London have only played 35. The next group of statistics I am going to look at relate to playing time. Time on ice, Power Play Time, Penalty Kill time, average minutes per game and points/20 minutes played. Again, for reference this analysis is being done on Sunday September 10th at about 11:30 EST, the sims for the day have not run. Data was taken from the Index and the top 50-point players are being used as a comparison As noted, Molly the Cat has played 35 games so far this season so it only makes sense that they may have played between 25-30 minutes per game less than those that have played 36 minutes. On a pure minute played Molly the Cat has played 971 minutes in the 35 games played. Which works out to 27.76 minutes per game. When looking at the top 50 players the minimum minutes played is 906 total minutes and the maximum is 1139 minutes played. The average minutes played in this group is 1043.52 total minutes. That works out to a minimum of 25.9 minutes per game to a maximum of 32.46 minutes per game. On average these players play 29.38 minutes per game. Molly the Cat is currently getting below average playing time compared to this group of players. It is expected that this reality is impacting Molly the Cat’s performance in Season 90. Special Teams play can be a significant boost to a player’s points total, especially from the perspective of power play time. Looking at the top 50 players, they play on average 190.10 minutes of power play time so far this season with the maximum time played being 195 minutes and the minimum time played being 99 minutes. Molly the Cat has played 118 power play minutes so far that puts them well below average. Potentially Molly the Cat is being relied on for their defensive talents and their special teams play is being skewed to the penalty kill, which for most teams has fewer chances to put up production. Within the top 50 players the average penalty kill time played is 109.72 minutes with the minimum being 27 minutes and the maximum being 157 minutes. Molly the Cat has currently played 38 minutes of penalty kill time which is well below the average for top performers. So, what can we conclude based on this analysis? First, Molly the Cat is getting much less ice time than the top points producers in the league, that could be reducing productivity. Second, the significantly limited time Molly the Cat sees on the power play may be having a significant impact on overall production. Getting minutes in which, you have a statistical advantage to get points over other teams provides some players an advantage in terms of production which Molly the Cat is not getting. I am not sure it was a surprise to anyone but there seems to be a clear connection between minutes played and points accumulated. With Molly the Cat getting less than average ice time is impacting their productivity overall.

Stop picking on my spelling mistake. It was Dessert and you know it. @aimkin

Sorry for this being late 1) What is your players greatest achievement? 2) What is your players greatest fear? 3) What is your players favorite food? 4) What food won't your player eat? For what reason? 5) If your player had to choose a birthday dessert, what would it be? 6) What is your players favorite color, is there a reason why? Remember all answers must be in the form of a sentence, no one word answers.

Article review - Interesting analysis of captaincy in the league. Not sure that personal predictions on who is going to win the championship impacts how the captain performs their role on the team. Some teams just know that they are not going to be dominant enough in the league to win the championship, that doesn't mean that the captain isn't giving everything they have to ensure that 2-3 season in the future that isn't the case. I give this article an 8/10 as I am intrigued by someone looking at the role of a Captain