Doomsday

I'll be doing what I can to get Mr. Stark back here. In the meantime, just do all the work you can to beef up for next year!

BRAND NEW SERIES HERE

STORM GONNA STORM

i just saw that on 9gag. thought it was funny. but none the less im sure Dallas will find a way to choke.  

Romo has actually done a hell of a job closing out games this year. Really, the worst claim against him this season is that he "choked" against Denver, but shit, the guy threw for franchise highs in yards and TDs that game. If you lose a game in which the other team scored 51 points, the QB isn't why you lost.

Awwwww yiss!

I do.

Sorry guys, thought this was an MMA match.

Switched lines 1/2 back for next game, took out physical so we get less penalties hopefully.

Only had 10 total PIMs, so I don't see the cause for alarm. We need to keep them the hell out of our zone, though.

Game 2: HC Dynamo vs. Express

Game 3: Legion vs. Wranglers

Dynamo 3-2

Doomsday/Thomas Landry

Haha they probably trying to get the funds to make Jardy rig.

 

 

And I just ate shit Mountain biking and now my art hurts like a ......

Making A Movie With VHL Talent: 2nd Edition

NEW YORK - Last week's article about casting the members of the VHL into a cheesy, cliched cop film turned out to be quite a successful venture and was just as fun to write, so I will be following it up with another go this week. This time, however, I will instead be casting members of the VHL into a romantic comedy film, because fuck you. Just like last week, I can only use members of the VHL and VHLM, regardless of how fun it might be to cast them with Richard Simmons just to creep them out. Bonus points if you can figure out which movie I am lifting the plot from. Let's get started.

THE PLOT:

Jimothy Merrill is a down and out golfer who has not been relevant for several years. Although his age and strained relations with his family have contributed to it, a waning love for the game he so revered as a youth has sapped his desire to play the game. With the PGA Masters looming, Merrill decides to try to qualify for the Masters to make one last shot at finally winning at Augusta. During the qualifying rounds, he meets an up and coming female golfer, Claire Thomas. While immensely talented, Claire is rather immature and cannot handle making mistakes without blowing up and completely losing her composure. Despite the wishes of her overprotective father and the advances of other younger golfers, Jimothy decides to help Claire control her emotions and unlock the potential of her game. Spending time with her revitalizes his love and passion for golf, resulting in a surprising qualifying round that puts Jimothy's dream in sight and sparking a romance. Will he be able to win both the Masters and Claire's love? Find out by watching...

AUGUSTA

THE CAST:

Jimothy Merrill: Michal Wozniak

A player who seemingly never seemed to quite play up to his potential, Wozniak probably assumed he was heading into this season to ride the coattails of his teammates and Calgary and end his career in a decent manner. Instead, something has lit a fire under Wozniak, leading to an absolute career year for the veteran center, who has led not only the Wranglers, but the entire VHL in scoring with a ridiculous 154 points. Michal may be able to get the storybook ending that Jimothy desires, making him the absolute perfect casting choice.

Claire Thomas: Naomi Young

The amount of female prospects in the VHL/VHLM are rather limited, although the young, talented Naomi Young makes for a good parallel. While the center doesn't really have the rage issues that Claire does, Young can be awfully lazy and has not really shown off her massive potential this season, making her the natural choice to have an older, veteran center on his way out in Michal Wozniak the perfect guy to be her Jimothy Merrill.

Randolph Manderbach: Sebastian Ball Jr.

A young, promising golfer who also vies with Merrill/Wozniak for Claire Thomas/The Funk Trophy. While Manderbach has had himself a good campaign that made him among the frontrunners, the old veteran's sudden emergence has put him on the back burner and he is not particularly fond of it. It will make for an interesting showdown when the two show down in a tiebreaker round with the PGA Masters title on the line.

Scott Thomas: Skylar Rift

Claire's father, who believes that Merill is only a distraction to his daughter and who will only hurt her chances of winning the Masters. While initially vehemently opposing everything Jimothy does to attempt to help her, Scott eventually sees the good nature and intent behind Merill's actions and in the end warms up to him and allows Claire to learn from the crafty veteran. This transformation from black to white, cold to friendly can absolutely be personified through Skylar Rift's adoption of the "Two-Face" moniker. His imposing nature only adds to the appeal of the choice.

Jay Montra: Robert Gow III

A humorous, insightful and helpful caddie who has faithfully served with Jimothy over the course of his career. A guy who can always be counted on for a laugh, good advice and the sort of wild ideas that really get this plot moving. Robert Gow III is just the sort of guy you can count on for comedic value.

BIT ROLES:

Color Commentary: Wesley Kellinger

While golf commentary is usually dry, dull and about as exciting as using sandpaper as lubricant, that's not the kind of guy we want here. We want someone who is full of bizarre, colorful and entertaining commentary during the golf scenes of this film. While the work that led me to make this choice did not occur in the VHL, I never said that it had to, so suck it. Wesley Kellinger has just the sort of bizarre humor and wit to make something dull like golf or MMA matches that turn into dry hump sessions on the mat into comedy gold.

Washed-Up Veteran: Alexander Labatte

Jealous of the success of his peers, this old veteran has tried to shout louder than the publicity that Merrill has attracted, trying to get the attention back on him. In the meantime, his game continues to spiral downward and more or less prove to be the polar opposite of the man whose attention he craves. While Labatte has been good this season, he sucked some serious shit last season in New York, so fuck him.

Missing Guy on a Milk Carton: Austin Hickey

Seriously, where the fuck did this guy come from? Holy shit dudes.

Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times, which once actually covered football simulation leagues. He enjoys stepping into Christmas, playing with bobble heads and masturbating with sandpaper.

HC Dynamo Spending Time Practicing Marksmanship

DAVOS - Although it only recently became official, fans and players alike have known that a playoff match-up between the Davos HC Dynamo and the Cologne Express was inevitable. Therefore, it comes as no surprise that the members of the HC Dynamo have been seen logging in extensive amounts of hours practicing their marksmanship in preparation of the series. The surprise is the location of the training: a private firing range, not the Davos practice facilities.

"I figure that if they can shoot a gun, they can beat Chekhov," said Davos' head coach, Terence Fong. "A lot of thought and planning goes into aiming and shooting a target, especially at long ranges. If they can figure this out, they will figure out how to beat the goalies they face."

"This is f&$king awesome!" exclaimed center Sergey Brovalenko while manning a 1919 Browning .30 caliber machine gun with teammate Thomas Landry. "I can't wait to see what happens when we win this series!"

Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times, the gift that just keeps on giving. He enjoys performing hyper combos on homeless people, consuming American soil and being so real with Jeff Buckley.

Landry imo.

317 more hits than last season needs to count for something, eh?

0 Defense = 0% chance of wins.

Username: Doomsday
Position: RW
TPE: 373
Team Name: Defosse Wins Championships

Doomsday: Yes, I have access to the locker room.

Good good!