Mutti

If you want to drink some beer, Czech goalie is the man to go to. Cheers!

Welcome to a special and rather unexpected edition of Houston Gossiper. We obtained a shocking news regarding the Houston hockey team: Ondrej Vencko has been assaulted! To start this week off, Bulls‘ goaltender did an interview with a sweet colleague of mine, Lauren Lambert (go check it out, btw, it is spectacular writing). Mere minutes after leaving the studio, he was approached by a rather obese guy, who slapped the goalie in the face, while shouting (presumeably) insults in an utterly unpleasant and ear-tearing gibberish, also known as German language. Luckily, two police officers were patrolling the street just around the corner, so they quickly took care of the attacker. The man, roughly in his thirties, is now in custody. His motive is unknown. However, the officers stated that the man was mumbling a melody of German anthem during his transport to the police station. Could the suspect be a member of some ultra-nationalistic German movement? Who knows. It would make sense, however, when we take into consideration that Ondra comes from an area of Czechia formerly known as the Sudetenland which had a large German community before and during the World War II. Police is now investigating whether an organised group of such extremists can be lurning the streets of Houston. According to professor Zweistein, some Germans hold grudge towards Czechs for forcefull movement of Germans out of Sudetenland after the War, which wasn’t very nice in many cases. This violence towards a man who logically couldn’t influence any events that happened almost 80 years ago is, however, completely unjustified. Ondra himself is fine and not really hurt. „It was more of a scare than of an attempt on my life“, he told us. Let’s hope that this event doesn’t influence Ondra’s game in a negative way. For Houston Gossiper Ben Icio del Torro 305 words for week ending 2/11/2024

Game 200 recap: This game between Miami Marauders and Houston Bulls was expected to be a fairly ballanced and close one. After all, the teams are just a few points apart in the standings. However, the game turned out to be very different than we expected. 1st period Houston's Benjamin Abenduct opened the score. His goal was followed by another one soon after, this time by Barry McOckiner. However, as Bulls showed a passion for scoring, they also showed their passion in playing physical. This lead to three different powerplays, one of which let to a goal by Bilbo Teebaggins of Miami. The one-goal-game did not last for long, however, as soon after, Tyler Lawson of Houston scored team's third goal. Thus, the period ended with a 3-1 in favor of Houston. 2nd period In the second period, Miami was looking to turn things around. This eventually lead to a more physical game from them, they couldn't capitalise on it, though. Miami and Houston exchanged penalties and Harold Benson of Houston was amazing in the net, stopping every attempt Miami had. To add the salt to injury for Marauders, Houston added 4th goal to the board. Things were looking grim for Miami heading to the end of the period. 3rd period Third and last period of this match definitely showed who dominated the ice that evening. Miami played even more physical game, which, sadly, only lead to two power-plays for Houston, one of which they utilised to score their 5th goal of the night. This marked the end of hope for Miami in that game, as it was the last goal of the night. Both teams tried their hardest, that was obvious. However, only Houston was able to capitalise on their efforts. Plus, their goalie Benson was unstoppable. Overall, however, it was a thrilling and enjoyable game. Fans will surely look forward to seeing more games like this! - Ben Icio del Torro

Hello and thanks for having me here. I can see the question are prepared, so.. Let's get started, shall we? 1. We aren't as good as we used to be, at least in the past 10 games played. 3-6-1 through our last 10 games, what do we need to do as a team to get back on the winning track? - I think that we still show signs of development. However, the concrete is becoming to solidify and we are on our way to find a perfect groove as a team. I think that further training and getting used to our lines might do the trick. ------------------------------- 2. With our roster now set we do not need to add any new players to the team this season. What is the best feeling about being part of a full 12-6-2 roster? Are there any negatives you find? - The best feeling about that is obviously the feeling of completion. I think that now, that we are complete, we are fully competent to show our overall qualities. Only negative aspect I'd mention is getting used to it, which may take a bit of time to achieve. But I believe in the team. We got a great spirit! ------------------------------- 3. Trade Deadline is here and Houston has two new faces joining us to complete our roster. @CowboyinAmerica was traded from Halifax and @KRZY signed from waivers, these two are fresh meat in the locker room. What is something these players should know about Houston and our team? Are there any cool spots in Houston you want them to know about? - I think they should be prepared for an immense amount of humor in the locker, haha. But I believe they will get used to it quickly, if they haven't done so yet. I would certainly recommend some places with minorities from abroad. Especially if they like food. I certainly do, hehe. ------------------------------- 4. Playoffs are always in the back of my mind. Since drafting, trading, and signing each player this season, my goal is always to get to the playoffs. Looks like we got a good shot this season to make it! What is the one team you DO NOT want to go up against in the 1st round? VHLM playoffs take the top 8/10 teams in the league. - I wouldn't like to go against Las Vegas.. Because I don't like Las Vegas. No offense to the residents, I just don't fancy the place. Anyway, if we turn out to go against them anyway, I will have to just.. Get through it, somehow. I think we have a good chance to perhaps surprise some teams in the play-offs! ------------------------------- 5. I have always loved Taco Tuesdays, Wine Wednesdays, Freaky Fridays, etc... Which day of the week is your go to "event day"? Is there a day of the week where you have a routine meal or event? - Oooo, from those mentioned, I would certainly choose Wine Wednesdays. Shame that we don't have a day of week starting with "B", cause I would use that one for beer drinking. Perhaps.. Thirsty Thursday? ------------------------------- 6. It's GM day! I literally just made that up. For GM day you are required to give me something. This "something" can be anything! A unicycle? Sure! Some baby turtles and a tank for them to live in? Thank you very much! What is one thing you would like to give to me, your GM, if you could give me anything? - A kitty named Bully, team jersey with "BEST GM" on the back and a hug, because you are awesome, man. Haha! ------------------------------- Thanks once again for having me, it was a pleasure! See you next time! -O

I loved this collab so much! I can't wait for future ones! Lauren is such a great person to talk to.

Hello, thank you for having me once again! Now, let' answer those questions: 1. We have officially crossed the halfway point of this season, S92. Through a half season of play, what are you overall thoughts on our team? - I think the team is the best I could have wished for. The mates are amazing, we get along very well. I think my stats may show some signs of decline but that's far from truth. I am readier than ever and I feel the same about the team! --------------------- 2. It's Theme Week! This season's theme for Theme Week is "All-Star". What are you planning on doing for Theme Week? Have you already submitted a Media/Graphic/Podcast? - I have already created a podcast, submitting a special episode of my new Radio show I've created. It has been a ton of fun for me to create and hopefully, it will be at least a bit funny to y'all as well! Making anything for a certain theme is a blast. I can't wait for another theme week! --------------------- 3. Weekly tasks sometimes turn into a bore. VHL.com's might not be as interesting as they use to be, or you may get trivia wrong and lose all motivation... If you could choose a new way to earn TPE, what would your task of choice be? - It may sound weird from me, as I have already done it, purely out of my own joy. But I think that creating goal songs for teams or players would be a big fun to some of us! Other than that.. I can't think of anything brand new. But to be honest, I don't find the tasks to be a bore. My bigger enemy is the time, which is sometimes rather scarce. But there's always a way to get to VHL and do something creative. And I love being creative here! --------------------- 4. Halfway through the season is usually when players finally feel their groove. Daily games create great routines! What is your routine in order to be ready for each and every single game? - Pet my cats, kiss my girl, have a coffee and play my bass. All the joys to boost my mood. And with the bass guitar.. I quite literally find my groove, hehe! --------------------- 5. If you had to choose between only winning team awards, or only winning individual awards, which would you choose and why? - Team awards. I mean, we can still discuss, amongst the teammates, who deserves what and who was the reason we won etc. But the team itself is the main reason I would be able to win Individual awards. Plus, the chemistry in this team in particular is so mezmerizing that.. It brings a joy to my heart anytime we are successful. ------------------ 6. Almost February! One month of 2024 gone already, has anything cool/interesting happened to you in this first month? - Well.. Nothing much, to be frank. I am planning on making certain life choices for the future but that is unclear as when those will happen. I am enjoying life as usual. Or, sometimes, I am trying to do so. Thank you once again for having me. It has been a pleasure answering your questions! See you next time! -O

Special episode of my new podcast-ish show. This time, Rocky looks at the topic of All-star game.

First ever episode of a Houston Hockey Radio broadcast! Hope you'll enjoy!

Replying as my GM suggested. I dunno if it's too late or not, but might be fun, lul.

That's some high quality writing, right there! I love how much Houston lore was uncovered in such a short period of time. Can't wait for another Running release!

Player card with face reveal and ties to this article:

Thanks for having me here again. We all know the drill, let's get through the questions! 1. Houston after 1 week: 4-4-2, 4th in the Western Conference. Does our current record reflect the rest of the season? - I think that our team is settling and is on a very nice path. If we figure out how to consistently put up great performances, we can definitely surprise some teams in the league. So in terms of losses, no, I don't think it does. 2. How have you performed through these first 10 games? - I have been average to slightly above-average goalie. You know, it is different from Czech leagues. The pressure is a real factor here, especially with all the gossips surrounding the hockey world. But other than that, I am finding my grip and I am beginning to feel really sure between the pipes. 3. Team Bonding Opportunity!: You are our well known drug addict. We need to hop the border from Texas to Mexico, what vehicle are we cruising in to partake in illegal activities? - Toyota Hilux, of course. It's indestructible, haha! 4. Nathan was announced this week as Houston's newest AGM. Do you have any words of advice for him? Anything you would like to say? - Well, my guy, good luck and fingers crossed. I believe you'll do just fine! 5. Our captain Trimiskez Artav and our assistant captain Chris Reynolds Jr lead the team with 7 goals each. In a 72 game season, how many goals will the two end up with? My guess is around 45-50 goals for each of them. How many goals will you end with? - I think that the amount of 50 goals, cca, is reasonable. But boys are hungry for more, so they can score even more, I am sure! As for me.. I wouldn't mind getting an empty-netter. But I will mainly focus on keeping as much goals off of our net as possible. 6. I am deciding to drop everything I have and run! The mafia has caught up to me and Houston needs a new GM now. You have been chosen to fill my spot! As GM of the Houston Bulls what is the first thing you do? - I would focus on the team development, ensue high quality training and look into the game, how to possibly improve and get to the top of the league. But let's just say that being in Houston and not having AJ as a GM is UNACCEPTABLE. Thank you for your questions, I will look forward to another press conference soon! - Ondra Vencko

Reposted in supplemental tasks.

Hello there, readers. I hope this article finds you in a great mood! Last days have been so full of news that I cannot possibly cover them all in this release. However, those I can surely won’t disappoint! 1. ONDREJ VENCKO’S INTIMACY EXPOSED?? While all of league has been looking at this Czech goalie through fingers because of his alleged connection to arrested drug dealer, I tried to figure out where does he really get all the energy he shows during practices and during the games. It turns out Houston’s young prospect is in love! He has been spotted numerous times in downtown, Houston, holding hands with a lovely lady, who is, supposedly, also from his home country! Could you believe it? If this continues, we will have a Czech community as big as Chicago has! Truly jaw-dropping! We shouldn’t take a hockey playing inspiration from them, though. And what makes me sure that this young Czech pair is in love? Well, I asked the man, the meth- eh, the myth, the legend Ondrej himself. This is what he had to say: “This girl? That’s my fortune. My secret for my agility. You know, couple of hours of “exercise” per week does the trick!” So, there you have it, folks. Houston’s goalie is indeed under an influence of a drug. But the mightiest drug ever: Love. 2. NEW DRUG ON THE BLOCK: IT’S BLUE, DA-BA-DEE-DA-BA-DA While we’re on the topic of drugs, though, there have been numerous occasions of a new drug in the streets. DEA agents were willing to share only a couple of information on this substance, those being that it is of a light blue colour and leads to its origin are tied with cartels operating in Mexico. This may influence the league’s opinion on Houston Bulls in a positive manner, as now the team has gained somewhat of a bad reputation thanks to speculations about methamphetamine and Bulls’ Czech goalie. Right now, the investigation is still ongoing, with the leading agent saying: “We have a strong lead thanks to our source we won’t specify further.” Well, let’s all hope this affair will get sorted before it can influence a possible play-off run for the Bulls. 3. HEAD ON FOR THE NET, HEADSHOT INSTEAD We could witness an unlikely accident at yesterday’s Bulls’ training. This training was special, as the town’s mayor Mr. Quimby decided to visit and support the team by giving them motivational speech. It was also, however, a training day, when the Bulls’ goalies decided to practice empty net goals. After a few successful attempts, Vencko decided to give it a shot with a spin beforehand. He didn’t notice the mayor entering the ice, though, and with the spin giving the shot an unwanted direction, it hit Mr. Quimby right in the head. Everyone gathered around the wounded mayor and a medical assistance was called upon the rink right away. The head of Bulls’ medical staff, doc. Bonebreak, told Houston’s Gossiper, that: “Mayor Quimby’s status is stabilised. He only suffered a minor amnesia, when he couldn’t remember the party he candidate for. He was successfully transported to hospital shortly after the incident.” Players aren’t exactly shaken by this event, as Mr. Quimby is known to get into many kinds of trouble. The sniper himself, Ondrej Vencko, refused to comment further on the event, stating that “the puck wanted motivation from the mayor himself too”. Mayor Quimby is expected to leave the hospital in the following days. As a memoir, Bull’s players signed mayor the puck that caused him this hilarious injury. Thank you for reading this release of Houston Gossiper! I will see you next week, with more, new and fresh information about hockey and everything surrounding it in the beautiful city of Houston! - Ben Icio del Torro 635 words for week ending 1/21/2024

+10 Ondrej Vencko

I love this graphic. Looks hot! LET'S GO BULLS!

I'm glad, mate!

You got it!

Ben is trying his hardest! I hope he will turn into a fan favourite!

Hasek 2.0? Houston Bulls‘ goalie Ondrej Vencko is talked about a lot amongst both fans and scouts. Before the start of the season, he has been observed in the development camp, as well as outside of his hockey duties. The conclusions between scouts tend to vary quite a bit, let’s look at the main points the scouts made: 1. He clearly has passion for the game. He is very good at communicating with teammates on the ice and has a great potential for starting turnovers. However, his passion can get him carried away sometimes, as when he lets a few goals into net, he gets angry and loses focus. Thus, he might consider trying to control his passion, even though when he makes big saves, his unleashed behaviour is a joy to watch. 2. He is very good with poke-checking. His stick handling is one of the best this season’s prospect can offer. During his training at the development camp, he also made a tremendous save with it. Truly spectacular. 3. However good the stick play is, though, his main weakness is in his glove hand. Ondrej catches with his left hand (because he is more comfortable with playing stick on the left side, even though he is a right handed person), which tends to show when he has to make a glove save. We have seen quite a bit of shots dangle out into the net, or missed by Ondrej completely. I think this will take some more time to perfect but he still catches most of the shots, which is a good sign for the young goalie. 4. Coming from the Czech Republic, Ondrej clearly knows what the name Hasek means. And he showed us that he knows it. He presented some pretty impressive acrobacy while making some of the saves. Given the faces of his teammates, he clearly surprised them. It is no doubt that this can boost the appreciaton of Bulls’s players, management and fanbase. It is also, however, rather tricky to control and not to get too carried away, which ties to point no. 1. 5. Off the ice, Ondrej (or Ondra, how everyone calls him), is a really pleasant person, who lifts up the team spirit and contributes to pleasant team chemistry. That is, if he has a good day. If he makes mistakes during the match, he tends to get downed and doesn’t want to communicate, which I could experience myself after the second day of the camp. Most of the time, though, he is a real joy to talk and to be around to. This can easily lift up Houston’s morale and dedication to win, as the support coming from this guy on ice is spectacular. Overall, Houston Bulls GM got his team a lot of great and talented prospects. I am sure the league and fans alike will watch their career with a great interest. I would especially keep an eye out on this young acrobat tending the goal. For VHLM News, Ben Icio del Torro 505 words for week ending 1/14/2024

Houston's backup goalie has a graphic, yay!

Breaking Bad, Breaking News Today, a shocking incident took place in the Houston Bulls stadium’s parking lot. Police officers arrested an elderly man, who allegedly had one pound of crystal clear methamphetamine on himself. The authorities were notified about this by an anonymous caller just a few hours before the arrest. Sheriff Schrader, who lead the action, noted that: "The arresting officers met no heavy ressistance from the suspect“, who dropped to his knees right after being given handcuffs. In a rather bizzare fashion, he then looked the arresting officer dead in the eye and said: "Say my name.“ Which is an information the policemen refused to share with us, at least for now. They did, however, shared an evidence found in suspect’s pocket: a small piece of paper with writing saying: "Czech Republic – BIG MARKET.“ Suspect will now awaits trial in a cell in Houston Police Department HQ. He will face interrogations from HPD detectives, as well as from DEA agents. For the unbelievable amount of the drug the man possessed, he can be facing upto 20+ years of soap-dropping simulator. This event will most likely have little-to-no larger impact on the upcoming beginning of the VHLM, with Bulls players focusing mainly on their game. As some of the fans pointed on new Czech players in the Bulls‘ roster and questioned if there is any connection to the arresting of the elderly man, we asked the new Houston Bulls‘ backup goaltender, Ondrej Vencko, for his opinion on the matter. He had this to say: "I don’t care about drugs. And if he wanted to make money in the Czech Republic, beer would be much better commodity. That and adult movies.“ Well, while the connection between the players from Central Europe and the suspect can be understandable, it is most likely out of place here. Players are focused on hockey and that’s what matters for the fans, in the end. We cannot wish anything else but success to the Houston Bulls. Good luck in the upcoming season, boys! 338 words for week ending 1/14/2024

Thank you all, guys. It is so heartwarming to be here and to be able to do this. Thanks once again, your support is amazing!

Thanks, hope so, haha!

Born in 2001, in a small town in the north of the Czech Republic, Ondrej (or Ondra, informally) was always looking for something to spice his days up. Although he loved watching hockey on TV with his dad, he never really showed any interest in the sport, until the year 2016 came along. On his 15th birthday, during the match of the local hockey beer league, he broke into the locker of the home team, stealing goalie's kit. The match was about to start, so he quickly hid himself outside in the bush, while the home team sent their actual goalie for a new kit. Ondra, being a joker, went back inside and put the stolen gear on. That's when the rest of the team noticed him. However, because he was looking ready for action, they just rushed him to the rink. There was no turning back. Blood was flowing. Ondrej remembered the passionate evenings in front of the television hockey and thought to himself: "It is time to shine." And shine he did. The end result was 11:0.. For the away team. After the birthday fiasco, he realised that he was actually having a lot of fun, being a goaltender. Thus, the journey for becoming the greatest goalie in the village began! The training began right in the following winter, when Ondra found a frozen pond for him and a few of hockey enthusiasts to play on. It went really well, Ondra even making some saves this time! That was until the third period came along and his team was forced to pull him out for an extra man. He skated to the side, when he noticed a breakaway from the other team. Unluckily, the ice on the pond cracked.. Even though he did not make the save, he set the village record for the fastest swimming hockey goaltender. (Still unbeaten to this day.) From this, he worked hard and practised as much as he could to finally get to the Czech national league. He was 20 at the time he joined the Prague Mic Czechs. His first season surprised everyone around him, as not only that he helped his team to get to the top of the league, he also recorded 6 shutouts, .913 save percentage, 2.1 GAA and scored 1 goal. This caught the attention of scouts from the NHL, who instantly offered him to play "across the pond". Sadly, as everything seemed perfect, his team lost in the first round of the play-offs, making scouts question his abilities. However.. In the next season, after summer full of practising and hangovers caused by first round exit, he and his team came back with a vengeance. Mic Czechs dominated the league once again, and even though Ondra hasn't scored any goals, he stood on his head. Recording 6 shutouts, .920 save percentage and 1.9 GAA, he and the team stormed the play-offs, winning the National cup. This interested the scouts from the NHL again, now confirming to them that they want this player in their league. They ensured him that he would receive a special invitation via letter to be officialy able to join the league across the ocean. Unfortunately, the person in charge of writing the letter made a typo in Ondra's surname, when they wrote "Plecko" instead of "Vencko" (which is up to this day super hilarious for Czech inhabitants). Ondra never received his long-awaited letter. But every cloud has a silver lining and this story ended up the best way possible. Because while some, who don't know the wonders of the internet, consider the NHL to be the best hockey league in the world, Ondra found himself the perfect and in every way better alternative. The VHL. He quickly showed his interest in joining the league and before you knew it, he was offered a contract by Houston Bulls, where he will play his first (and hopefully not last) season. Some might think that a Czech boy would find some other cities more appealing, but to that he says with a smile: "Houston, we got no problem!" Alongside with hockey career, Ondra also aims to make an impact in the world of music. He has been playing the bass guitar for over 4 years now and tries to experiment when composing his own songs. Ondra has a broad range of music taste, ranging from metal to pop, from rock to jazz, from classical to electronic music. He also occasionally plays live with his band Take Cover!, playing cover versions of well-known songs. The biggest gig he experienced took place in August of 2018. They were playing at the annual ball of his hometown's hockey club, with many people in the crowd being passionate fans of various NHL teams. The gig was going well, but then the guitarist began playing Slapshot, which woke up all the New York Rangers fans. They immediately formed a moshpit, right next to a long isle of the other New York team fans. After a few minutes of mind-numbing riff repeating, one guy tripped with his shot of vodka right onto a table with a lit up candle. This created a fireball, which made New Jersey Devils' fans go nuts. Fire caused a smaller chandelier to fall down. One guy, an Oilers' fan, braced himself and shouted: "I am a goalie, I'll catch it.", and then proceeded to not catch it at all. A Toronto Maple Leafs' fan appeared, and said that he would throw a fire extinguisher to the people nearest to the fireball. It wasn't necesarilly a difficult throw to be made, but the guy managed to miss anyway. Extinguisher dropped on the floor and exploded, taking the fire out in the process. But at the same time, it covered half of the place in white foam. This encouraged Jets' and Coyotes' fans to fanatically spin their white T-shirts, which led to two of them having a heated argument, whose tradition it TRULY is. In the end, Ondra looked to the drummer to save the day and to play something that would calm the situation. Unfortunately, drummer proceeded to play Chelsea Dagger, which turned the whole crowd hostile after just a few of the "Ta-da-das". One Blackhawks' fan in the crowd did not fight for his tune, because, as Ondra and his bandmates later discovered, he did not want any spotlight on him, as he was trying to hide some dirty secret. From that day, Ondra focused mainly on composing his own music, with playing covers of songs, that won't turn any hockey fan nuts. Right now, though, he is focused on the VHL the most, with a long and hopefully successful career planned. And just like bass player holds the low end of the band, he aims at holding the back of the rink and keep all the pucks of the other team away from his net. So, slap those slapshots away, hockey bassist!