Masami Iwasawa's struggles

[CrazyCaityCat 65]

Nothing was quite working right recently. She was in a weird rut and couldn’t quite get out of it. Masami knew it was going to be fine…probably. It had to be fine! Her recent performances in the VHLM left something to be desired, and she hadn’t been able to sing recently anywhere but the locker room because it was snowing a lot. Even when she did get the chance to perform for her teammates something felt off about it, she felt an odd disconnect, an unsatisfying note was hidden somewhere in her soul and she couldn’t quite find it. Everyone politely listened and gave applause when she’d finish after the games but it was obvious that she wasn’t connecting with them the way she had been before. Her raw emotion was still there, but there was just something…off.

 

Masami sat and pondered this as she watched the snow slowly drift down out the window of her apartment. She yearned for her music to be like it was, she desperately wanted to start playing better too. Something about that thought struck her as not quite right though. Yearning. She yearned for something, yes, but she was missing it. That was the key to everything, she just had to figure out what this longing feeling inside her was for and she’d be able to get back to normal, she was sure of it. She closed her eyes and tried to think. What was it that she was missing? What was it that was hidden from her own conscious mind, this discordant note that she felt within her own soul.

 

As she sat desperately trying to think of what it was her phone began to ring. It was her father. He hadn’t called her in about 2 months, since she had decided to enter the VHLM against his wishes. She looked at her phone in disbelief for a moment then picked up the phone. Her father told her that he had called to urge her to come back, to stop this nonsense about hockey in a foreign country. He told her he’d been noting her recent struggles and that it just proved that she didn’t belong there. She was clearly not good enough to play in the VHL, she needed to come home.

 

Masami was speechless at first. Then she felt her anger rising. She began to tell her father what she thought of his “request” but he interrupted her part way through and began shouting. He said that she had always been a disappointment as a daughter and that she finally had the chance to do what was right for the family. He demanded she return home immediately and to be prepared to meet with the man that had been arranged for her. Masami was stunned. The man who had been arranged for her? Her father had arranged a marriage for her? Was he out of his mind? Almost no one did that anymore, and then it was supposed to be mainly for the elite. There was no way that she was going to be subjected to this antiquated practice! She told her father she would never marry anyone unless she fell in love with them herself and that she had no intention of returning. He began shouting at her about how hard he’d worked for the family, and how she needed to be a good daughter and do her duty. Masami wasn’t about to take that abuse though and hung up on him.

 

Her emotions were boiling over. She was so..so…angry? Sad? Disappointed? All of those things. She had never had the closest relationship with her father but this? Demanding she abandon her dreams and return for an arranged marriage? This was insane! She absolutely could not believe this. She felt like she was going to explode. She needed to talk to someone, she needed a friend right now. As that thought hit her she knew exactly who to call.

 

In a little café near downtown she sat waiting for Baldur, she’d ordered a tea and was attempting very hard to not look like she was on the verge of a mental breakdown. When she saw him approaching her table she had a moment where she wanted to just completely lose it and start crying in public. She restrained herself though, largely because she also noticed that she had a strange sense of anticipation when she saw him that she didn’t really understand. Baldur greeted her warmly and ordered himself a coffee when the waiter came. She didn’t know where to begin so she sat silently looking at her tea. Baldur took the initiative and began to talk about hockey. He could talk about hockey all day, he was so passionate about it and he had so much to say. Masami felt herself calming down as she chatted with him and after about an hour, and a couple of refills of their drinks, she felt like she could finally talk about what had happened. She told him about the phone call with her father, about his demands and about how she was so angry and sad. She also told him that she’d been feeling really out of sorts recently and felt like there was something she was missing and couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was.

 

Baldur listened attentively; he let her get it all out on the table. When she was done he told her that she was a very lovely young woman, and that she was valid and amazing just the way she was. He didn’t try to fix her problems for her, or cheerlead her by saying she’d done nothing to deserve this. He simply looked on warmly and didn’t judge her, he accepted her and told her she was cared for. She was an integral part of the team and he’d be very sad if she ever had to leave hockey. Masami felt like this was exactly what she needed. She wasn’t looking for Baldur to rescue her, just...to be a good listener and let her express these emotions that were raging inside her. She felt much more calm after having talked with him. She apologized for taking up so much of his evening, as it was nearing 9pm local time, and thanked him for being such a wonderful friend. He gave her a parting hug and told her he’d be willing to listen to her anytime, because she was a very good friend of his.

 

Back at home, Masami felt like she had let a load off her back that had been crushing her and making it hard to breathe. She was so glad that Baldur had agreed to meet. They’d never met outside the rink before, just the two of them. She truly felt like Baldur was one of the coolest, nicest people she’d ever met and she was extremely happy to be his friend. She hadn’t solved all her problems tonight but she was very glad that she’d at least had Baldur to talk to. Something was still nagging at the back of her mind about what she’d been looking for, and that sensation was even more profound after tonight, but she didn’t have any answers yet so she set it aside and tried to get some sleep for today, hoping that tomorrow would bring answers.

 

1221 words

 

[CrazyCaityCat 65]

claiming 2/2

[Deee.Geee 40]

Review: I haven't quite come across a piece, a short story, this like this before, and it's uniqueness got my attention immediately. It's obvious that not only a lot of care went into the story being told, but the characters as well. There was a lot of emotion leaping off the page, and it was refreshing to see a plot that while about hockey, wasn't actually about hockey. Also I think many of can sympathize with Masami's parental conflict.   9.5/10

[Hoopydog 195]

I really like this piece. You do a really good job of capturing and exploring Masami's feelings whilst she was in this rut with her performances. Introducing another character really gives a better understanding of how Masami is feeling as she is able to show her feelings through her interaction with Baldur. The piece is laid out very well and flows naturally. Overall, amazing job.

 

10/10