Why Jeffrey Pines is the GOAT

[AJW 1,860]

Disclaimer

I am not being forced by @rory  to write this do not worry.

 

There are many reasons why S73 defenceman Jeffrey Pines is the G.O.A.T (Greatest Of All Time for you boomers) of the VHL. To start things off, Pines plays for the greatest franchise of all time, the Los Angeles Stars. I am definitely not being biased since my player was drafted to that organization. The Stars are ran by GM Josh and AGM Rory, a dynamic duo of management. These magicians of management drafted Pines to the Stars 8oa in S73, the third defenceman picked in that draft. BUT, as of S79 Pines has the most TPE of those top three defence picked... GOAT MATERIAL. I interviewed Josh (no I didn't) on his thoughts going into the S73 draft:

 

"Everyone in this draft class are scrubs. If you had my mental powers it would be easy to see that Pines is the best player of S73. He will drop down to 8th overall since no one else has my vision, then I will pick him up."

 

A true master of drafting Josh is.

 

Pines has averaged over a point per game throughout his entire career in the VHL, all of those games being part of Los Angeles' organization... a loyal GOAT. Pines holds many records for his Stars squad: Most Games Played, Most Goals, Most Assists, Most Points... do I need to keep giving you more reasons WHY HE IS THE GOAT. Pines is literally such a stud that in S75 he was so tired of not being recognized as the best to play the game that he put up a 40 goal season as a defenceman for "shits and giggles". I do not know many people who are physically or mentally strong enough to do that, and Pines did it for the memes.

 

Another reason why Jeffrey Pines is the GOAT is because of the member who manages his player, Mr. Rory himself. Rory is a class act. Rory is an updater on the forums and a degen hour manager on the discord. Rory is well known and hated around the forum but he has a special place in my heart for sure. The guy drafted me 5th overall in the S79 draft because I am cute. Good dude he is.

 

To conclude my reasoning as to why Jeffrey Pines is the GOAT of the VHL, the guy has won no awards yet. Want to know why? Because he is a team player and he wants his first award to be a Continental Cup with his teammates. Pines could have won the Sterling Labatte Trophy for Top Defenceman 6 times already, but 6 times he has turned the award down from the league in order to work for his Continental Cup with his boys. Pines knows that that is the only hardware that matters.

 

I really see no arguments with this article. If you disagree with my statements then you must be dull I am sorry.

 

 

[AJW 1,860]

Don't fact check me or else

[Dom 1,444]

500 words for a bust smh

[bigAL 2,176]

2 hours ago, ajwllmsn said:

Don't fact check me or else

Too bad

 

2 hours ago, ajwllmsn said:

These magicians of management drafted Pines to the Stars 8oa in S73, the third defenceman picked in that draft

Fun fact, he was not drafted as a defenceman (either in S73 VHL draft or by most of the S79 VHFL drafts ugh, or when he scored 40 goals in S75, or when he was passed over for 6 Labattes in a row)

 

2 hours ago, ajwllmsn said:

Pines holds many records for his Stars squad: Most Games Played, Most Goals, Most Assists, Most Points...

BRO. Jeffrey Pines is a GOD in one stat and you didn’t even list it here. Unbelievable. This is not a Game Winning Article. Jeffrey Pines is quantitatively the most clutch player ever. Figure it out. 
 

2 hours ago, ajwllmsn said:

the guy has won no awards yet

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! The Jeffrey Pines Memeorial Tournament MVP award is literally named after him. Someday, when someone other than the GOAT himself wins, the winner will also get a signed hockey stick and a vinyl copy of the latest 3PPAO. 
 

ARE YOU EVEN A JEFFREY PINES FAN AJ???!!!???! I’m starting to think this is JOKE meant to DISRESPECT the best forward-turned-defenceman from S73. I hope you stare in shame at the Pines poster hanging over your bed tonight. 

[AJW 1,860]

7 hours ago, bigAL said:

Too bad

 

Fun fact, he was not drafted as a defenceman (either in S73 VHL draft or by most of the S79 VHFL drafts ugh, or when he scored 40 goals in S75, or when he was passed over for 6 Labattes in a row)

 

BRO. Jeffrey Pines is a GOD in one stat and you didn’t even list it here. Unbelievable. This is not a Game Winning Article. Jeffrey Pines is quantitatively the most clutch player ever. Figure it out. 
 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! The Jeffrey Pines Memeorial Tournament MVP award is literally named after him. Someday, when someone other than the GOAT himself wins, the winner will also get a signed hockey stick and a vinyl copy of the latest 3PPAO. 
 

ARE YOU EVEN A JEFFREY PINES FAN AJ???!!!???! I’m starting to think this is JOKE meant to DISRESPECT the best forward-turned-defenceman from S73. I hope you stare in shame at the Pines poster hanging over your bed tonight. 

I seriously should checked my Pines history. I am embarrassed and disappointed in myself. I’m sorry to Mr. Pines and the community that rallies behind him. Please accept my apology, I plan to be better.

[Dom 1,444]

10 hours ago, bigAL said:

the best forward-turned-defenceman from S73

The only one?

[bigAL 2,176]

4 minutes ago, Domg5 said:

The only one?

I stand by my statement.