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Falling to the tenth pick of the draft, I was a bit shocked. I expected to go sooner for sure; all indications from the general managers to whom I talked indicated as such. I definitely wasn't unhappy with being picked by the Nighthawks, but I just didn't see it coming. I knew going into the draft that I was not going straight to the VHL, and Malmo did look like a team that was on the verge of being serious competitors, so I joined the team thinking that I could help them take that next step. The beginning of the season did not go the way I had hoped at all.

 

Right out of the gate, I was getting playing time. Not top minutes, of course, but I was given enough opportunity to prove myself. I was put on the second forward line along with Brendan Telker and Muffbeav, and the team was hot. Immediately, the acquisition of Gunnar Odinsson was paying dividends. We were looking like one of the best teams in the league. It was actually a pretty rough time for me, though. I wasn't happy with my performance. It made me start to feel like maybe there was a reason I fell in the draft. Maybe the other teams got it right. I knew I should be happy, given the success we were having as a team, but I just found it so hard to celebrate when I didn't really feel like part of the team, yet. My teammates were very supportive, but for too long, the questions remained: when will I get my first point; when will I score my first goal?

 

It ultimately took me until my 13th game to notch my first point. It was an assist on a power play goal by Kirishima Wakaro. The game was against Davos and we ended up winning 4-3. I think my pointless streak seemed longer than it actually was, because looking back, 12 games before getting my first point doesn't seem like that big of a deal. The fact that the team, including my linemates, were scoring so much definitely played a part in it as well. It did take a bit longer still for me to score my first goal. It was in our 27th game, a contest against the Americans, at which point I was up to five assists. We were coming off of a loss, just as we were in the game that I got my first assist. I actually ended up scoring twice in the game. The first was a power play goal in the second period, and then I scored again in the third. I ended the game with 10 hits and a +2 rating as well. We won 5-2, and I was named the first star. I'm just really glad my first goal came in a win. One of my biggest fears with the way the team was playing was that when I finally had something to celebrate on a personal level, the team would end up losing the game.

 

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Me scoring my first goal, against Thadius Sales. Yay!

 

I knew that goals and points would come with time, but it took getting over that hump before I could really relish in the success that the team was having. I do feel bad that I was a bit of a downer even while were were playing great, but that stretch of the season before we traded for Scotty Kaberle was actually our low point as a team as well, we just didn't know it yet. Those first couple weeks did humble me a bit. They caused me to reevaluate my expectations and just go out there and play. It did also become easier to do that once I finally did score my first goal, because I didn't have that looming over me. I came into the season expecting to an impact with the team, but it wasn't really until I started to realize that I just needed to be a little more patient that I finally started to help out. Obviously I'm not a star yet, but I haven't had another stretch like I did at the beginning of the season.

 

With the regular season just about wrapped up, I'm really looking forward to the playoffs. Now that I've started scoring a bit more, I've gotten more confident. I feel more like I'm part of the team. It's easier for me to celebrate our victories even when I don't really contribute, because I know that I'm capable of making a difference in the next game, or the next series. Winning the Victory Cup will put pressure on us as a team to do well in the playoffs, but I think most of that pressure is going to be put on us from ourselves. After the season I've had, I know a thing or two about putting pressure on yourself, so if nothing else, maybe my experience with the team so far can teach all of us a lesson. We just need to go out there and play.

 

My teammates made this a really fun year, and while I do think I still could have enjoyed my first season even if I were on a last-place team, it is definitely nice to be playing for something immediately. I do think that is part of the reason why I have not quite put up the numbers I was expecting; you have to take the bad with the good when it comes to that. Had I been on a weaker team where I'm one of the top dogs, I could be contending for the Stolzschweiger. My time will come to be a star, though. I just have to be patient and not expect to be that guy game after game. For now, I have my moments, sometimes even just those singular moments can be big.

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