A Stream of My Consciousness

[Gustav 6,099]

Warning: overly negative me wrote this article. If you're having a good day, click the back button.

 

Hello! It's Sunday and I don't have a PT for this week. Well, I suppose I do.

 

Earlier this week, I attempted to record a podcast on my commute. Now, I am not a podcaster and never have been. I hate the sound of my own voice and do not believe in my ability to speak about a topic for as long as recording a podcast should take. And, with that considered, it went fairly well. After a few minutes of getting used to it, I could go on about the championship and this season and everything. And I managed to keep things mostly on-topic for almost half an hour.

 

In fact, here it is. I don't particularly want to share it, but I know if I don't people will ask anyway.

 

There are two reasons why I'm not claiming this as a PT, as follows:

-I still hate how I sound. I don't know why. That's just a mental thing.

-Practically nothing I said in that recording is new. If you've read my articles, you've already heard what I said, and that feels like cheating.

 

I'm sure getting around the second thing is simple enough--after all, I can come up with cool little article ideas, and podcasting is just an article in audio form. It's just the first thing that bugs me, regardless of how much anyone might disagree with it or have no idea what I'm talking about. It goes beyond just the usual "everyone hates how they sound in a recording" thing, for which there's a perfectly scientific explanation--I know I'm not supposed to sound good to myself. That isn't news. What is news is that recorded me, to me, becomes everything I don't like about myself. I can read an article I wrote a year ago and legitimately enjoy it if I forgot most of what was in it. In fact, I'll even do that sometimes. It gives me ideas for new stuff and helps me remember things from the time I wrote it that I found particularly interesting or funny. But in a recording, all I hear is this loser with no life who can't throw together a coherent sentence and who's reciting already-known things to a group of people who probably won't care, and I hate everything about that. Even though I know most of those things aren't even true, that's what I become to myself in an mp3. Honestly, I respect the hell out of anyone who can make a podcast without thinking any of that.

 

So yeah, I tried it, I didn't like it, and here I am writing an article anyway because that's what I do best. As is always the case with an overly negative self-reflect-y Gustav post, I'm not looking for sympathy or affection, but rather, I find it therapeutic to put my honest feelings out there because I don't really have an outlet for it in real life (especially when it comes to talking about podcasting for a sim league). Hopefully--and it shouldn't be that difficult--I'll have something more enjoyable to read next week. 

[Spartan 3,997]

Holy fuck I listened to the first 10 seconds and I want to podcast with you. Everyone hates their own voice, I hate mine as well. You sound fun man, as I'd expect. I'm not sure if you've got a slightly new york twinge to your voice, but you've got a subtle accent in there that I dig. I don't have the patience to listen to the full thing because I just don't, but we should podcast together!!! I drive home around 5 PM eastern on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Lets do it!!!!

[Nykonax 1,550]

wtf i love ur voice

 

top 3 voice in the league for sure

[a_Ferk 760]

I listened to the entire podcast. I know what you mean about Seattle being the underdog, it did seem like Malmo got a lot more hype/coverage this season. It's funny how adding McLaren actually made Davos worse somehow, STHS be like that. At least you guys made the playoffs this season, that's a start.