thadthrasher 1,692 Posted January 24, 2022 Share Posted January 24, 2022 (edited) It comes to surprise no one that there would be another Florida man article circulating around the internet. Historically, those articles have been headlined as such: Florida man chews off another man’s face Florida man trapped in unlocked closet for two days Florida man busted feeding iguanas to alligator in jail zoo Florida man tries to evade arrest by cartwheeling away from cops Florida man arrested for calling 911 after kitten denied entry into strip club These are, of course, rather serious incidents that have been reported. The comical nature of the article titles do not diminish the seriousness of each incident. It was, however, only a matter of time before a serious “Florida man” incident occurred in the world of the VHL. You may be thinking that this article would take place in Miami with the Marauders, but it seems that this particular Florida man made his way across the ocean to Sweden. And they wanted him there… Spoiler Florida couple legally changes their child’s name to Florida Man While this title is NOT the title for the current article you are reading, this article is about that most unfortunate child named Florida Man @zepheter. Presumably growing up in the marsh lands of Florida, wrestling with alligators and siphoning gasoline out of local lawn mowers, Florida Man made a name for himself (see what we did there…) in the world of professional hockey. Drafted 42nd Overall in the Victory Hockey League Europe by the Stockholm Vikings, Florida Man made his way around the world to Stockholm, Sweden. For two amazing seasons he played his heart out for the Vikings. This effort, fueled by a strict diet of Mountain Dew and Funyuns, led him to be a favorite name in Stockholm among the Vikings fanbase. Failing to ever disappoint his fans, Florida Man went on to be the Points, Goals, Shots, and Plus/Minus leader for the S81 playoffs, which brought the venerated Renaissance Cup to Stockholm. Unfortunately, this is what leads us to this article’s title… Spoiler Florida man, wearing nothing but crocs, steals the VHLE’s Renaissance Cup It seems that Florida Man ran through a variety of emotions after the Viking’s Renaissance Cup victory. Celebrating in the city, Florida Man’s inner…well, Florida man came out. He drank excessively, punched a bunch of walls and stained glass, and found himself standing in the National Sports Museum at Djurgardsbrunnsvagen 26. In the next room was the cup that he had just lifted but a few days before. His phone rang and it was @rory, the General Manager of the Los Angeles Stars calling him to not only congratulate him, but to say the very sentence that would push Florida Man over the edge, “I hope you’re ready to play in Los Angeles.” Florida Man felt immense dread come over him as he wanted to play in Stockholm for the rest of his life. He figured it was the Florida of Sweden. In Florida man fashion he stripped down, completely naked, and pulled his favorite pair of crocs out of his draw string bag. Putting them into sport mode, he kicked down the main door to the National Sports Museum which brought him right before the podium that held the Renaissance Cup. In front of an army of media personnel, Florida Man lifted the cup over his head, screamed out “Florida forever!” and gyrated himself out the door. At the time of this article being published, Florida Man and the Renaissance Cup are still missing. The Vikings General Manager, @thadthrasher, responded immediately to the media personnel saying, “Well, he’s not my problem anymore. Good luck rory.” ---- Claiming week ending 30 January, 602 words Edited January 24, 2022 by thadthrasher mediocrepony, Beaviss, zepheter and 5 others 6 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rory 1,759 Posted January 24, 2022 Share Posted January 24, 2022 don't worry Florida Man, LA is like the Florida of the VHL thadthrasher 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beaviss 4,949 Posted January 25, 2022 Share Posted January 25, 2022 9.5/10 Their are not many people as creative and as talented as mister Thad at coming up with media spot ideas or just sim league vibe stuff in general. All of your Medias are very entertaining and this one doesn't disappoint in the least. The addition of quotes graphic and everything fits perfectly with the vibe of the article and all the sentence structure is there. im looking forward to more since I cannot even critique this other than saying I want more. So give me more! thadthrasher 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thadthrasher 1,692 Posted January 25, 2022 Author Share Posted January 25, 2022 6 minutes ago, Beaviss said: Their are not many people as creative and as talented as mister Thad at coming up with media spot ideas or just sim league vibe stuff in general. love you boo, thanks Beaviss 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atw2592 286 Posted January 26, 2022 Share Posted January 26, 2022 Reviewing: Oh here we go, another Florida Man article. Although to my extreme surprise, this was an actual VHL article about a player named Florida Man. Didn't expect that one. He was drafted 42nd overall to Stockholm, which makes me think that this was a huge steal because of how well written this article was. Of course, he was the all around stats leader for Stockholm last year, which is something I did not know. You better find that cup, Florida Man! 9.9/10 thadthrasher 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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