See Mour Butts in Chi-Town

[fonziGG 1,065]

 

You know, it's been a tough few months adjusting back to North America. One of the first things I had to re-adjust to was that I couldn't just walk to a the training facility. In Chicago, I have a driver. I'm not as active. The training facility is getting a face lift so I don't have enough plates to squad heavy. Now, I squat with dumb bells and they have no smoothie section in the cafeteria. I've spoken to the GM and and President of Hockey Operations about installing a smoothie section and they have both assured me that they will install one and make sure there is enough protein for all of us to absolutely rip it in the locker room as a competition. I mean, I think I caught @fromtheinsideabsolutely shred one on the bench the other day and the other team's trainer passed out. I mean, it was intense, musky and insanely impressive. Usually, he holds em in I think. I mean, I think that a protein fart virginity thing or something along those lines.

 

It's funny. Last time I spoke to you was when we all were a team. In fact, all of them had left me back in Europe. Marcus got a job with Team Canada soccer. The rest all abandoned me for jobs in the private sector. Eff them, am I right? I mean, I had philly cheese teaks for days. I had no idea what I would be missing for the rest of my life. Jesus. I'm now only eating Chicago deep dish. However, I need a brand new team. I will be looking into bringing some new staff into the team. It's been tough, even my personal assistant is gone now. It's just me, a 02' Toyota Corolla and a shitty 1 bedroom apartment in the middle of butt fuck nowhere. Also, the irony? I don't even use the god damn Toyota Corolla. Why the hell did I purchase that? You tell me Joe Blow.

 

I am prepared for summer holidays. Is Seymour pissed off about his statistics this season? Is Seymour tired of being a rookie and all the pressure that comes with it? No. I am actually already booked for a holiday to Japan with my protein jacked brother of mine. Thats right, none of you bums actually know my brother. Cosmo Kramer. He's actually in the SBDL over in the SBA playing for the Henderson Honey Badgers. Anyways, in the off-season we're going to Japan to meet up with some Japanese advertisers with our agent in order to build up our "brand". Our first sponsorship is boba protein powder. Have you ever heard of it? Me neither. It's tasty, has pearls in it too! I got taro flavoured powder last week and it spruced up my life in ways I didn't expect. Thank you, whoever in the world made that protein powder. You are a good human being. You deserve my love, happiness, and warmth in love. This has given me major gains. I've never seen such a great pump in my life.

Edited May 23, 2022 by fonziGG

[fromtheinside 1,278]

10 hours ago, fonziGG said:

I think I caught @fromtheinsideabsolutely shred one on the bench the other day

 

guilty as charged!!

 

lol nice writeup!

[Shindigs 1,771]

Going to be interesting to see what Team Butts 2.0 is going to look like.

[fonziGG 1,065]

On 5/22/2022 at 4:01 AM, Shindigs said:

Going to be interesting to see what Team Butts 2.0 is going to look like.

It's going to be a team of misfits.

[Shindigs 1,771]

1 minute ago, fonziGG said:

It's going to be a team of misfits.

an underdog story for the ages?

[fonziGG 1,065]

Just now, Shindigs said:

an underdog story for the ages?

You know it bud

[fonziGG 1,065]

On 5/21/2022 at 10:40 AM, fromtheinside said:

 

guilty as charged!!

 

lol nice writeup!

Haha I wrote this as I was at my cousins wedding