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Claimed:Claimed:Lost Tales of the VHL: Gifford Shock


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Gifford Shock Turns Back the Clock

Lost Tales of the VHL- Season 4, Episode 1

 

 

Time travel, gypsy curses, secret murders, Jardy. While it may seem normal enough on the surface, the VHL holds dark secrets that terrify and astound. Lost Tales of the VHL is a documentary series aimed at revealing the true conspiracies behind some of the VHL’s strangest stories.

 

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This is the third image that comes up when you Google 'Gifford Shock.' Coincidence, or conspiracy?

 

The trail of Gifford Shock has wound its way through the VHL for the better part of several decades. Every time talk of new prospects comes up, the name Gifford Shock is a faint whisper in the shadows. Scouts are constantly reporting on a top prospect named Gifford Shock, yet the prospect never appears. It’s a name so powerful that aspects of it have even shown up on the nameplate of regular VHLers. Damien Shock. Caillou Gifford. Ring any bells?

 

Some may attribute this to consequence, others to superstition, but we here at Lost Tales have a devotion to letting the truth get out. We spent hours delving into ancient VHL tomes, lore and footage and have discovered the shocking secret behind Gifford.

 

Many years ago, an episode of Lost Tales explored the separation of the VHL timeline from that of the regular world. In short, this universe was created by a slap shot from Sterling Labatte so hard that it tore a hole in the spacetime continuum. We used to think that this was the only outcome of the infamous slap shot, but we were wrong.

 

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As it turns out, at the moment of this slapshot, a youth by the name of Gifford Shock was experimenting with mortality and sticking a fork in an active electrical socket. At the exact instant of the tear in the spacetime continuum, the outlet shot a jolt through young Gifford’s body. The simultaneous events caused Gifford to be split into countless iterations of himself and scattered across eons of spacetime.

 

Archeologists have found traces of the name Gifford Shock being used hundreds, and even thousands of years ago. Certain Sumerian cultures worshipped a god named Gi’ffa S-uk. In the European dark ages, there are writings of a powerful wizard they call Shok, and we all know the infamy that Gifford Shock has gained in the modern VHL.

 

In a paradox that defies even the slightest semblance of scientific logic, a countless number of fragments of Gifford Shock have been quietly working behind the scenes of humanity, guiding its growth and technologies with help from subconscious fragments of his future selves. Shock has been shaping reality itself as if it were a ball of clay, eventually getting to the point we are at today. The point where the true Gifford Shock can emerge the greatest hockey player in the world.

 

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Or perhaps this isn’t the case. Perhaps some unsuspecting mother who carried the name Shock felt the subconscious vibrations of the time explosion, and became attached to the name Gifford. We’ll never truly be able to say if Shock is the chosen one himself, or just a side effect of a time vibration. It seems that the true story of Gifford Shock may forever remain a Lost Tale of the VHL.

 

We’ll see you next time, when we discuss what really happened behind the failed VHL movie, The Assassination of David Knight.

Edited by Noah!!
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