Ace Game: Shindigs vs the IKEA Bots

[animal74 1,606]

Ace Game: Shindigs vs the IKEA Bots

 

 

The Discord DM from Aces’ captain Juan Ceson @dylanjj37 had said,

 

“Meet me in the IKEA parking lot at midnight. Bring the team. I have a surprise.”

 

Despite being captain, team bonding was not usually Ceson’s thing but GM Shindigs @Shindigs was intrigued so he told the Las Vegas Aces to meet at the arena at 11:00pm and then they took the team bus through the still busy Vegas streets to the empty parking lot at the IKEA. They parked the bus in a far corner of the lot and the team stood in the cool night air with confused faces.

 

AGM Reid Johnson @TopTiddee2 moved close to Shindigs and whispered, “What’s going on?”

 

Shindigs shrugged, “I’m not sure. Juan wanted the team to meet here. Did you bring the gear?” He thought maybe the team would have a midnight game of road hockey.

 

Johnson nodded, “And I brought bread in case the boys get hungry.”

 

Joel Castle @animal74 and Viktor Hasek @StackThePads were just starting to pull nets from the bus when the parking lot lights dimmed, brightened to a blinding white and then when back to normal.

 

Shindigs felt goosebumps cover his arms. “What the…?”

 

Suddenly, the automatic front doors opened and out started filing people in yellow IKEA shirts. As they continued to march out and fill the parking lot, Johnson peered closer as the moonlight reflected off their metallic bodies.

 

“Shindigs, they’re… bots! What is this?” Fear crept into Johnson’s features.

 

Shindigs swore, “That’s just uppfuckad.”

 

The first yellow-clad bots rhythmically marched out into the parking lot and then stopped to line up about 50 meters in front of the team with more lining up behind the initial row. Shindigs noticed that each bot wielded a large allen wrench. He had to stop this before it got worse.

 

Stepping forward, Shindigs called, “Juan, where are you? What’s going on?”

 

For a moment, nothing happened. Then a rattle of something being wheeled over the rough concrete slowly grew louder and like a shopping cart being pushed through a crowd, the bots made way for blue shopping cart being pushed through by a larger bot. Juan Ceson was seated inside the cart, eating meatballs with his fingers and greedily licking them clean. As the cart came to a stop, Ceson popped another meatball into his mouth and slyly looked at Shindigs and his gaze passed over his huddled teammates.

 

“Greetings, former teammates,” he said demurely, loud enough to be heard across the parking lot. “How cute. You thought we were going to play hockey?” He let out a chuckle and then his voice turned to ice. “There’s a lot more at stake tonight – maybe your lives.”

 

Like all good managers, Shindigs knew when it was time to negotiate. This was one of those times.

 

“Juan, I don’t know what’s wrong, but let’s you and me go into the IKEA and talk about it. Let the boys play some hockey. We can figure things out.”

 

Ceson stood up in the cart, his face contorted with rage. “You want to ‘figure things out’? ‘Talk about it’?”

 

Shindigs gulped. Maybe he was wrong. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Johnson and Wann Kerr @VattghernCZ passing out hockey sticks to the Aces. Castle took a swift practice swing with his goalie stick.

 

“You never fulfilled my wish for crisps!” Ceson pointed a shaking finger at Shindigs. “And you shot down the IKEA sponsorship, Johnson!” he screamed glaring at the AGM. “I was doing this all for the team. For you, Shindigs! Now you’re all going to pay!” He waved a hand at the gathered bots. “Behold! My IKEA bot army that shall be your doom!” He snarled, “You have no idea how long it took to put these bots together with IKEA’s stupid pictograph instructions. Now they’ll take you apart. Attack!”

 

Fortuitously and in good foresight, while Ceson was incessantly ranting, the Aces had fully geared up - minus skates - and stood beside Shindigs ready for battle.

 

@Shindigs

 

He glanced proudly at his team. “I guess it’s too late to say this, but Aces, assemble!”

 

Jens Lekman @Bobcat stepped forward. “I didn’t think this is how I’d get in my first fight of the season but this works.” He rushed toward the closest advancing bot. “For Sweden!!” he cried as he took a mighty swing at the bot’s head, cleaving it completely from its shoulders. He watched the head roll across the parking lot splattering red across the concrete. The rest of the bot stopped in its tracks with more red dripping down its yellow shirt. The bots were… bleeding? Lekman took a sniff of the red liquid on his stick blade, then tentatively touched his tongue to the substance. His eyes widened. “Yum!” he said, as his bewildered teammates watched him. He turned to them with a big grin. “Lingonberry!”

 

Then the battle erupted and chaos ensued.

 

Having a keen eye for his team’s strengths and weaknesses, Shindigs quickly saw that despite the bots' dullness, the Aces would be overrun quickly.

 

“Oh, Sweden, motherland. If only you could send some help somehow,” he breathlessly prayed.

 

“Sir! Look behind you!” gasped Johnson.

 

Shindigs dramatically turned to see another bus pull into the lot, this one glowing and with three crowns and the flag of Sweden on the side.

 

“What is it?” asked Robert Overmeyer @RobBro34 as he shielded his eyes from the glare and licked lingonberry blood off of his sleeve in the same motion.

 

Shindigs grinned and saluted “Tre Kronor!”

 

Ceson was jumping furiously in his cart. “NO FAIR! I have the monopoly on blue and gold outfits!”

 

Yellow and blue clad figures ran off of the glowing bus, each one wearing a flowing Swedish flag as a cape and waving a golden hockey stick, legends of Swedish hockey all. Two of the figures, Nicklas Lidstrom and Peter Forsberg halted before Shindigs.

 

“We heard your prayers and came as quickly as we could,” said Lidstrom, eyeing the bot army before them. He tied a Swedish flag around Shindigs’ shoulders. “Will you lead us?”

 

Shindigs beamed. “Of course, I will.”

 

Forsberg nodded. “Good. Let’s go. I hope I do not hurt myself.”

 

Hakan Loob, Borje Salming, Mats Sundin, Mats Naslund, Markus Naslund, Henrik Zetterberg, Kent Nilsson, Henrik Lundqvist, Daniel Alfredsson, Henrik and Daniel Sedin, Fredrik Olausson, among others all lined up in a V-formation behind Shindigs, who basked in their glow for a moment before yelling, “Angrepp!”

 

The Tre Kronor led by Shindigs quickly overcame the bot army and soon everyone was licking lingonberry off their sticks and gloves. Except Juan Ceson. The Aces had flipped over the cart to form a makeshift prison to hold him for the time being.

 

Shindigs made his way over to Ceson. “Tonight was bad, Juan. I’m not sure what to do with you. I’m even considering a trade to Mississauga.”

 

Ceson scoffed, “At least I’d get more playing time, then. And maybe some crisps.”

 

Moral of the Story: Shindigs is a great GM and the Aces would follow him into battle… even against an army of IKEA bots… but maybe after we’ve finished our meatballs.

Edited October 3, 2022 by animal74

[Shindigs 1,771]

A beautiful moment in Aces history.

[dylanjj37 238]

im still waiting for my crisps @TopTiddee2

[TopTiddee2 186]

This is greattttttt. Laughed my ass off in class and the teacher wondered why I was laughing so hard.

[animal74 1,606]

Claim 2/2 (1100+ words)