cleanin up the teams as a commie

[rory 1,773]

hello kids, if I was a commie here's the things I would do in a very particular order.

 

1. Relocate Moscow. This city is very problematic and I know the league likes to keep up their appearances so outsiders think they are NOT a cesspool of some of humanity's worst specimens. I think that because the logo is already angry santa, we can kill a problem city and make the newer VHL generation happy. I hereby declare the relocated organization will be based out of Nuuk, Greenland. Please everyone welcome to the VHL, the North Pole Santas! We will also re-green his face because funny.

 

2. Relocate Istanbul. Similar to the last teams problem, go ahead and google search Istanbul Red Wolves. The league relocated Quebec City to Vancouver for the exact same reason. Because I assume the league is broke buying Josh and Bek baby clothes, we are going to keep the logo and give Zuckerberg 5 uncapped to simply change the name on the logo to the new location. This is a great location for any sports franchise, with a famed history in a great many sporting leagues. Please welcome to the VHLE: The Baku Red Wolves!

 

3. Relocate Bratislava. Go ahead and take a look at a map of Europe and tell me where you think a lighthouse themed city should be. If you picked Bratislava, capital of landlocked Slovakia, you're an idiot! The only thing that people in Bratislava are lookin at is the boat tours that take you to a far superior city on the Danube like Vienna, or Budapest. The league can solidify their political posturing by moving my team to the very cool city of Odesa. This city actually has people that watch the sea from it, and has lots of cool lighthouses. We can even have special anniversary edition jerseys of Zmiinyi Island and I can tell other VHLE teams to go fuck themselves ("German Train team, go fuck yourself", or "Swedish longship, go fuck yourself"). I suggest we change the green to yellow, so our two colours are blue and yellow.

 

4. Bring back Derp Horse. Look I understand the thought of wanting to make the Calgary logo look cooler but this was a complete swing and miss. We should take the loss and return the glory of Derp horse to all VHL households immediately. Roid horse is simply too scary for fans of VHL everywhere. Why do sports logos always have to be ANGRY!? Why can't we just a wacky little guy enjoying his day eatin grass and jumping hurdles and not a fucking Iberian warhorse with PTSD from cannon and musket fire.

 

5. Get a new Saskatoon logo. Logo looks to similar to the Ottawa logo, and I think if we're picking one to go, we can get more creative with the "Wild" branding then a dumb cat brand. Perhaps we can enlist the legendary gorlab for ideas on how to make this a true representation of Saskatoon life. I'm thinking we ask Fuddruckers for rights to use their logo personally, but we'll have to see what the lab cooks up.

[hylands 838]

 

im thinking this guy can serve as inspiration for a new saskatoon logo

[rory 1,773]

56 minutes ago, hylands said:

 

im thinking this guy can serve as inspiration for a new saskatoon logo

we'll see what the lab has to say about that!

[Daniel Janser 1,999]

15 hours ago, rory said:

Similar to the last teams problem, go ahead and google search Istanbul Red Wolves.

The only thing popping up with that search criteria are VHLE related pages... Turkish Grey Wolves however is a different matter. Applying your logic would mean to ban all Canadian franchises because Quebec is in Canada... 

[hylands 838]

3 hours ago, Daniel Janser said:

The only thing popping up with that search criteria are VHLE related pages... Turkish Grey Wolves however is a different matter. Applying your logic would mean to ban all Canadian franchises because Quebec is in Canada... 

 

that is actually a really good idea. all canadian franchises should be relocated.

[fishy 1,757]

20 hours ago, Daniel Janser said:

The only thing popping up with that search criteria are VHLE related pages... Turkish Grey Wolves however is a different matter. Applying your logic would mean to ban all Canadian franchises because Quebec is in Canada... 

 

17 hours ago, hylands said:

that is actually a really good idea. all canadian franchises should be relocated.

 

while we're at it, we should also relocate all american franchises as well (especially NYA) because an alt-right group committed a domestic terrorist attack