Gotta Beat Cologne!

[Thunder 1,205]

We are just over half way through the season and the opponents are asking themselves how they are going to beat Cologne and knock them out of first place.  After spending considerable time looking at the team and checking out the stats, its clear that there is only one way.  You GM’s are going to have to play dirty.  I’m going to give you all some advice, but its up to you to make it happen.

 

Starting with Maple Dogwood, @dogwoodmaple, the only way to fix him is to get him on a cross country tour celebrating hero’s because he needs to stay off the ice.  Obviously Dogwood needs to get more accolades for saving all those dogs from a potential deadly fire.  If you GM’s cannot get Maple Dogwood off the ice, then have sickly dogs attend the games and he will be distracted and want to save the dogs.

 

Next is BjorkaBjorn BjornaBjorkson, @JardyB10  Bjorka … is a menace to the opposing teams and should be spending time doing podcasts and entertaining all VHLers with his podcasting talent.  Just don’t claim the TPE.

 

And we can’t forget about Maverick Goncalves, @leandrofg, Tyrece the beast, @beanhead420, and Joseph Dubois, @Dubois, as all three of these players are responsible for way too many of Cologne’s points.  GM’s get together and figure out something to stop them.  Sorry @rory, because it seems Bollos de Trueno cannot seem to stop them.

 

Lastly, there is Soju, @Frank.  How the hell do you stop the best goalie in the VHLE?  I think we can try to get Soju drunk and keep him drunk the rest of the season.  Or perhaps we could have Frank spend time IRL with @ScottyP, and force Frank to listen to Scotty P.  @Scurvy is pretty sure that Soju would bash his head on the pipes to try to get that voice out of his mind, which could allow Bratislava and the other teams to score goals.  Otherwise, we’re f’d.

 

331 words

[Frank 5,259]

I'd argue that Soju is only doing well because the Cologne game plan is to plant 4 players in the net like a sandwich and hope for the best.