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Claimed:VHL Player Safety [Final: 6/6]


Will

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Today, the VHL Player Safety Committee has finally come down with it's ruling on the case of the hit to the head of Cologne forward Thomas O'Malley; perpetrated Riga Reign forward Brennan McQueen. The following is the actual printed version of the committee's ruling.

 

 

VHL Player Safety Committee 

 

Comprised of:

Commissioner Higgins (Head of Committee)

Joey Kendrick

 Christopher Miller

Frank Chadwick

David Collier

Jardy (absent)

 

Summary of Incident

The incident occurred with approximately 12 minutes remaining in the second period, during Game 3 of the European Conference finals during the S40 VHL Playoffs. We believe the play prior to the play in question was a contributing factor so we will describe it here: The Riga Reign broke out of their zone and the puck was being carried up the ice and into the Express zone by Reign forward Robert Gow III when suddenly he was absolutely dumped by Cologne defenseman Mason Richardson, with a clean shoulder-to-chest hit. The play was blown down and Robert Gow III hobbled to the bench after briefly being a bitch, laying on the ice. 

 

Regular play resumed. The faceoff was taken inside the Express zone and won by Thomas O'Malley, who sent the puck back to Richardson. Richardson then hit O'Malley with an outlet pass and O'Malley proceeded to break out of the zone. As he was skating along the boards, he was abruptly hit with a ferocious elbow that connected directly with the side of his head. That elbow belong to Brennan McQueen. The play was immediately whistled down and, as O'Malley lay motionless on the ice, McQueen proceeded to taunt him by saying things like 'Cologne so sucky'. McQueen received only a two minute minor penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct on the play. 

 

Key Questions/Answers

Did McQueen's skates leave the ice surface? 

Yes, his blades were fully off the ice surface at the time of impact.

 

Was there a clear intent to injure? 

Yes, McQueen charged directly at O'Malley from a significant distance. As he approached, he had an absolutely terrifying look on his face that made even the commentators feel threatened. 

 

Did the play result in an injury?

Although Thomas O'Malley played in Game 4 of the season, it is largely agreed upon that he was suffering from a concussion whilst playing. He was clearly disoriented and likely wouldn't have made it to Game 5 if the Express had of extended the series. 

 

Vote

The committee members reviewed the video evidence, spoke with the parties involved, and deliberated amongst themselves before casting their votes on whether or not disciplinary action is required. The vote breakdown is as follows:

 

Higgins - Yes

Miller - No

Kendrick - Yes

Chadwick - No 

Collier - Yes

Jardy - absent 

 

Editor's note: Jardy's attendance record is now 0-27.

 

Ruling

As per VHL Player Safety protocol, the penalty for a guilty player is decided solely by the head of the committee. 

 

"The committee has spoken and Brennan McQueen must be punished for his actions. It was a reckless, irresponsible, and immature play that we cannot allow to happen in the modern VHL. I intend to ensure that I never see McQueen standing in front of this committee again by handing down the harshest punishment in league history. McQueen is hereby ordered to pay $250,000 in restitution, which I will accept in the form of a personal cheque written out to me, a carton of Marlboro cigarettes, an unlocked iPhone 6S, and 36 hours of league service which will be served by working alongside the lovely custodial staff over at the VHL Headquarters. Thank you and good day." - Higgins  

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Content: 3/3

Brilliant.

And this alliteration: "bench after briefly being a bitch."

Also, I want every official document to have the words "absolutely dumped" in them, regardless of whether said phrase makes any sense in context. 

 

Grammar: 2/2  I caught one!

That elbow belong to Brennan McQueen. That elbow BELONGED 

 

Appearance: 1/1
No pictures? No crying families?  Jk, official documents just need to say "absolutely dumped" and be formatted nicely. 

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