Harumpf 313 Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 (edited) ...At Practice!!! Oskars Harumpf and Penis Hudson had to be separated at practce during a blue/red scrimmage. Things got heated. Many of you clicked on that subject heading thinking you'd come here to read about Harumpf losing his penis, fear not, the bulbous scoring wizard still has his manhood, however with the popularity of my "Harumpf takes penis out on town" radio spot from a couple weeks ago, I thought I'd continue the play on words. Harumpf had to separated from his friend Penis as the 2 of them got into a sticky situation in practice this week. During what was suppose to be a friendly blue vs red scrimmage among teammates Penis was playing a very rigid game and was being on hard on Harumpf in the corners. Penis kept hitting Harumpf from behind. Obviously Harumpf did not appreciate this, he felt Penis was being too aggressive. This is something that has been a problem for Penis since joining the team, he sometimes just stands up without warning and becomes very eager and determined looking, he has to find a way to release his tension or he could explode. Anyway, Harumpf was having no more of the way Penis was treating him so the next time they went into the corner together, Harumpf flattened Penis against the boards. Penis crumbled to the ice and looked to be done, but then without warning he stood up and spit on Harumpf calling him a dick! Harumpf was furious, not only because Penis spat on him but because a guy named Penis was calling him a dick! So Harumpf did the only logical thing he could think of and called Penis a pussy! Now everyone was thoroughly confused but just then Harumpf and Penis began to fight! Harumpf was pounding Penis, he was beating him so bad some would think he had done this before. It was no competition. Seeing the beating Penis was taking, the coach had to jump in and separate the two players. Penis really took a beating though, he was all red and chafed up and the coach told him to get to the locker room and put some ice on it. Harumpf was still mad, he thought him and Penis were friends, some would say they were in-separable. Not anymore though, now Harumpf and Penis were mortal enemies. Penis had crossed the line and Harumpf felt violated. We caught up with him for an interview... So Harumpf, we heard Penis violated you in practice is that true? Harumpf: Well he tried to, but I put a stop to it. Nobody violates Harumpf and if they try to they will pay the price. Is it safe to say you and Penis are no longer friends and you have cut him off? Harumpf: Yes. I hate Penis. I'm done with him. I tried to be accepting when he first came to the team, but then he turned out to be a real prick. I hope the team cuts him. Wait, are you saying you hope the team cuts Penis off? Harumpf: Yes, that is what I am saying. Throw him into a field for all I care. Wow, do you think the team team will give Penis an unconditional release? Harumpf: Yes, I think that's what he deserves. Ok thanks Harumpf, have a good one. Harumpf: Yep. 556 Words Sorry, I am really struggling for media ideas, with not many players on the team and not many wins I have to look for ideas where I can find them. Hope a few people got a laugh out of this. Edited May 17, 2015 by Harumpf Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/20213-claimedharumpf-separated-from-penis-final-66/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jericho 917 Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 i lolled Harumpf 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/20213-claimedharumpf-separated-from-penis-final-66/#findComment-219384 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jala 922 Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 10/6 Harumpf 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/20213-claimedharumpf-separated-from-penis-final-66/#findComment-219400 Share on other sites More sharing options...
eaglesfan036 4,603 Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 Theon Harumpf Victor and Harumpf 2 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/20213-claimedharumpf-separated-from-penis-final-66/#findComment-219402 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DollarAndADream 3,356 Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 (edited) Content: 3/3 - Fine article, my friend. Hopefully that Penis doesn't explode on somebody or things will get messy. Grammar: 2/2 - "had to separated from his friend" - had to be separated "being on hard on Harumpf" - being hard on Harumpf "in-separable" - inseparableAppearance: 1/1 - No dick pics?Overall: 6/6 Edited May 18, 2015 by DollarAndADream Harumpf 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/20213-claimedharumpf-separated-from-penis-final-66/#findComment-219459 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DollarAndADream 3,356 Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 Theon Harumpf Harumpf 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/20213-claimedharumpf-separated-from-penis-final-66/#findComment-219461 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Victor 10,943 Posted May 18, 2015 Admin Share Posted May 18, 2015 The innuendo is high here. You've erected quite the storyline. Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/20213-claimedharumpf-separated-from-penis-final-66/#findComment-219532 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kesler 1,514 Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Claimed Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/20213-claimedharumpf-separated-from-penis-final-66/#findComment-220365 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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