Claimed:Fucking Bonuses Man [Final 6/6]

[Tagger 2,722]

THIS WAS A BANK, I SEE NO BANKING HERE!

 

The VHL Bank was in disarray tonight after a recent revelation regarding VHL contracts led to many desks within the VHL Bank being flipped over. The problem in question relates to the VHL policy regarding contractual bonuses that can be offered to a player prior to the start of the regular season. The issue was exposed when the New York Americans edited a contract offer sheet submitted to the VHL with their original bonuses. While the original concerns from the VHL Board of Directors related to the Americans editing an offer sheet after the point where they were due to be submitted, any concerns that the Americans had offered additional bonuses after the cut-off point to do so were quelled after reports from the VHL Bank confirmed that all of the players mentioned on the edited contract offer sheet had received the same offers prior to the start of the season. Although that concern was resolved fairly quickly, it in fact opened up another more problematic issue.

 

Look at all that money you can't pick up because you didn't accept your bonus!

 

The reason that the offer sheet had been amended was to remove a $1 Million bonus offered to center Niklas Kurri, perhaps in lieu of their trade for defenseman Chuck Goody from the Calgary Wranglers. However, the ability to do this contradicted directions that were sent to Chief Executive of Operations for the VHL Bank Matt Lynch not long after he had accepted the role in Season 42, which stated that bonuses should be automatically added to the respective player’s bank balance. As it turns out, there is legislation that states that bonuses need to be accepted for them to be added to the player’s bank balance, meaning that it’s likely that Lynch had been passed on some false information regarding bonuses, although comments made after the discovery seem to indicate that there were plenty of other people who also believed that acceptances were not required for bonuses.

 

We caught up with Lynch following the discovery to get his views on the incident:

 

“In truth, I can’t understand why bonuses need to be accepted by the player. Every other organization to my knowledge, inside and outside of sports, would automatically add bonuses to the bank accounts of the respective players. I mean, who isn’t going to accept extra money right? I mean I probably would have been perfectly fine had I been told that this was the way things worked from the start, but to find out after three seasons of automatically processing bonuses? That’s pretty fucked up, I mean think about all of the potential balances that aren’t correct spanning the three seasons I’ve had the role? “

 

So what will Lynch do given this discovery?

 

“Well, there’s only so much I can do relating to this information being brought to my attention. As it stands, I’ll just have to keep the bonuses that I automatically added to players from Season 43 and Season 42. I mean they’ll hardly complain, right? As for this season, I mean I guess I’ll have to analyse all of the bonuses that have been offered to this point and then consider where we go from there. I mean, like I say, I don’t see any reasons why a bonus would not be triggered as automatically accepted, so I would prefer it if the VHL administration bring that into play as the new ruling, but I guess we’ll have to see.”

[CowboyinAmerica 2,889]

I 

[eaglesfan036 4,603]

I blame Nike

[Toast 887]

Content 3/3 - Very interesting and hilarious article at the same time. I think it's just your writing style, but it always cracks me up/pulls me in. It is puzzling that you would have been given false information at the start of the job, but hopefully I got some free money out of it... anyways, if you need votes to pass the new rule, you know where to find me.

 

Grammar 2/2 - I'm sure there is an error in there somewhere, but I didn't see anything on the first read through, so you get by with no complaints... even the other writing graders had something, this bugs me.

 

Appearance 1/1 - It has proper article format and a picture. Yay

 

Final 6/6

[CoachReilly 688]

Claimed