Claimed:Lifetime Magazine Interview with Sir William Covington III [Final: 6/6]

[Guest]

Well hello out there for all of you that don’t know me my name is Tina Gregory and I had the pleasure… no the odd assignment to interview the so called “rightful king of England” Sir William Covington III. Since the season for the Bratislava Watchmen ended William left right away and never looked back. He went to England to mock the current royal family in public and was basically asked to leave the country due to a so called “violation” next he went to Russia and watched the Moscow Red Wolves win the VHLM championship. Hell he was even celebrating with the team, since he says that he should have been on the team all along. Next he flew back to Las Vegas and just partied since then. We here at lifetime asked him for an interview, to which he replied “Only if it’s on my terms” which we agreed to. His terms were we met him somewhere of his choosing no questions asked. He demanded it be the strip bar in Vegas that he owns named “King’s Court”. Now being a woman I was not really thrilled to be going somewhere women are dehumanized and degraded just to have dollar bills down their undergarments but we wanted the story so I had to swallow my pride and meet him there.

 

I arrived at King’s Court in the afternoon to much of my surprise the place was busy even during the day. I walked up to the bouncer and told him I had an interview with William. The bouncer eyed me up and down like a piece of meat, and told me that I did not have the thighs, ass or boobs of a dancer. He wished me luck and let me in, I walked through the door as he and his friends laughed and watched me walk into the dark and musty strip joint. I was greeted by a topless women at coat check asking if I wanted to take off my jacket or anything else. I told her that I was fine but she may want to cover up to regain some dignity.

I proceeded to walk into the strip bar, to hear cheering and whistling as scantily clad women danced on stripper poles as men threw dollar bills at them. I was lead but a totally naked women to where William was sitting with two strippers were basically fighting over who got to give him a lap dance. I sat down across from him as he drank straight from a rum bottle. He looked over at me and scoffed.

 

William: NO! You are too old and too fat to dance

 

I looked at him in shock and anger. He basically saw all women the same way and it disgusted me to my core.

 

Tina: No Mr. Covington I am Tina Gregory from Lifetime, I am here to interview you

 

He eyed me like a piece of candy, but not one that he wanted but one of those foul tasting gag jellybeans.

 

William: As I said you are too old and too fat

 

This started to annoy me, my measurements were 36 24 36 and he was telling me that I was too fat. When some of these women were a bigger then me and he was telling me no. I didn’t want to dance nor would I ever want to but I did not like rejection. Something about this man, his cockiness, his aura, him maybe being the rightful King made me want to dig deeper. Almost show him that I was good enough not just to dance but to good enough to interview him.

 

Tina: No Mr. Covington I am here to talk to you about you being the rightful King of England and about your hockey career

 

He looked around seeing if anyone heard me say the word Hockey.

 

William: Go on, but you have ten minutes.

 

I looked at my watch to see what time it was then I reached for my phone to set a timer, but he stopped me saying that he had one of the girls on his lap set one and now I had nine minutes and twenty four seconds.

Tina: Okay William, tell me a bit more about yourself. How did you find out that you were the rightful King of England?

 

He laughed as he smiled at a girl on his lap, then told her to give him a lap dance. He then snapped his fingers and pointed to the ground. The other got down on her knees on the ground as he told her to wait her turn. I was just about to get up out of pure disgust but then he began to speak.

 

William: What else is there to say about me? I am the rightful King of England, I grew up in a family that was shunned out of the spotlight, out the royal “family” Just because we liked the American woman over the annoying British women that had rotted teeth from years and years of tea drinking. If you look around this bar you will see that all these fine looking none fat girls like yourself have amazing teeth that complement their assets. This maybe a strip bar but they get full health and dental benefits. They need to make sure every inch of their bodies were perfect. But… I am side tracking here. I found out about my royal bloodlines from my grandfather. He told me how my family was shunned and booted out of the country. He told me that my father was already a lost cause since he is married to an American but I am the chosen one to take back the thrown and overthrow the thrown terrorist that took it away from us. How did I feel knowing this at such a young age? Hmm how would you feel that one day the whole world would agree that you and every woman would have zero rights?

 

At this point I had no idea if he was just messing around with me or that he had no idea that for thousands of years women had no rights and were still fighting to have equal rights.

 

 Tina: Mr. Covington I am sure you know for Millennia now women have been treated like dirt. We still have to fight for equal rights

 

William: Hold it right there, this interview is about me and not for you to push your feminist agenda. So next question

 

Tina: Okay… Have you ever sat down with the current royal family and talked things over. You guys are blood relatives.

 

William: There is a saying that blood is thicker than water, to which I say it might be but it sure as hell wasn’t thinker then Rum.

 

Tina: But it is

 

William: You know what I mean

 

I did not have a clue what he meant but I went along with it

 

William: Once I was ten years old I went to have a talk with the so called queen, she wanted to meet her relative and bury the hatchet. The only hatchet that was buried was the one in my back. I sat there while she mocked and made fun of my family saying that our love of American women was our downfall. Keep in mind I was ten years old and had no interest in the ladies yet. But yet here she was lumping me in with my father and grandfather. I told her to shove the royal sceptre up her royal vagina then as I left I punched William right in god awful yellow teeth. He cried like a little girl so I punched him again and again till the royal guards carried me away.

 

Tina: Do you have a plan to take back the throne?

 

William: Oh yes I do and it’s a great plan but I won’t tell you it since you would tell them and then they would expect it. Fuck that shit

 

Tina: Okay… let’s change pace here. You recently got into hockey. Why?

 

William smacked the bare bottom of the dancer on his lap

 

William: For the puck bunnies of course and because I needed something to do other than plotting my revenge on the bitch on the throne. So I picked hockey.

 

Tina: But why hockey?

 

William: Why not hockey? Are you trying to say it’s not a good sport? That it’s not a “royal” sport? If so then FUCK YOU!

 

Tina: It actually isn’t really royal. Why not a sport like fencing, polo, horse jumping or even jousting

 

William. Fencing is for pretentious morons that think they are high and mighty. I don’t think that because I know that. Polo is more boring than watching a romantic comedy that you fems love so much. Horse Jumping… yeah I will pass because I will fall asleep and fall off the fucking horse and jousting? Really I highly doubt anyone fucking does that anymore… unless it’s at medieval times.

 

Tina: Okay… Did you enjoy your first season in hockey?

 

William: I loved the game, it’s like a fucking drug. It’s like cocaine

 

William now did a “bump” of cocaine off the dancer’s bosom

 

 William: But totally not like it at all. I enjoyed the game, I enjoyed being an asshole in the beginning. My first goal was on a clearing attempt. I stole it off my team mate in the offensive zone and tried to clear it back to our zone but it went off player and into the net. So much for blind dumb luck. It came in my first game. Since then I kind of “piled on the points” well… as much as I could playing for a shit hole of a team like Bratislava. Don’t get me wrong most of the guys were cool and shit, but most some of them that had zero chance at making it anywhere else just went through the paces much like the GM of the team.

 

Tina: Harsh words if I may say so. Why do you hate the GM so much?

 

William: I wouldn’t use the word “hate” it’s so bland and boring. I would use the word loathe. That man would not know how to build a good team even if one was handed to him. He claimed me and a few other guys in hopes of trading us for late picks, to get “something” which is a smart strategy… If you don’t forget about the trade deadline that is. Which he did, so I and the other good players were stuck on this shit horrible team for the rest of the year. I for one am happy that I am not on that team anymore.

 

Tina: Did you at least like the city of Bratislava? Were the fans nice?

 

William: What fans? No one in this world is dumb enough to go watch that team live because they are that fucking bad. Sure me and some new guy’s sole handily won them games that they had no chance of winning. But no fans were at those games to cheer. We got cheers from the workers at the arena which was insulting to say the least.  

 

Tina: Would you ever go back there?

 

William: Only when my new team goes to play them and destroy them. I will not stay in the city, I will never eat there nor will I sleep there

 

Tina: Where do you want to play next season?

 

William: Bern or Moscow are the only two teams that I would play for the rest of those so called “teams” can eat shit. I would only be happy in one of those two places.

 

Tina: So the rumors are true you do refuse to play for other teams

 

William: They are not rumors if they are true. I do refuse to play for any other team. Also when it comes to the VHL I have a list of teams that I will not even enter contract negotiations with. Hell I much rather go undrafted in the VHL so I can pick what team gets me. That way it’s fair and then there wouldn’t be any uproar over me sitting out on a team because I do not want to be there. So if anyone on a VHL is listening right now, do not draft me. Let me go undrafted because if you draft me and you are on my do not draft list then you will not be able to sign me. I will ignore any and all attempts to contact me. I am my own agent so it’s pretty easy.

 

Tina: Well looks like the next few years will be entertaining….

 

William put his finger up as the alarm went off on the timer

 

William: Times up! Now go dance to show me what you got or leave

 

I opted to leave because I did not want to be degraded. However on my way out few men shoved bills down my skirt.

 

[BluObieZ 1,125]

Okay... don't know why it was posted as guest. I posted it.

[Phil 5,119]

Content: 3/3 - A very interesting read and interview on the rightful heir to the throne of England. This is a perfect character for you to base your career off and I do hope you keep it going. Fun times ahead. I like the fact that you have a list of VHL teams you will not sign for. If it keeps you around, then why the fuck not, right? But who are they!? 

 

Grammar: 1.5/2 - This grade could have been lower if the article weren't as long as it was. There were a lot of basic punctuation mistakes. Just one proof-read would catch these. 
- Well hello out there for all of you that don’t know me my name is Tina Gregory = Well hell out there. For all of you who don't know me, my name is Tina Gregory
- afternoon to much of = afternoon. To much of
-  meat, and told = meat and told
- in, I walked = in. I walked
-  I was lead but  = I was led by
- strippers were = strippers who were
- bigger then = bigger than
- This maybe a = This may be a 
- team mate = teammate
 

Appearance: 1/1 - Consistent style with colours, pictures, alignments, and italics - nothing more needed!

 

Overall: 5.5/6

[DollarAndADream 3,356]

Content: 3/3 - Great and long interview and I enjoyed the read. Keep it up.

Grammar: 1.5/2 - Phil basically got them all. Some pretty simple mistakes, maybe put it through a proofreader before posting? 

Appearance: 1/1 - Looks good.

 

Overall: 5.5/6

Final: 6/6

[CowboyinAmerica 2,889]

Claimed