Claimed: Player Changes Name For "Good" Cause

[Tagger 2,722]

Edwin Threencarnacion and his previous non-flammable, non-terminator predecessors aren’t exactly known for fighting for what they believed to be “just causes” in a traditional and sensible manner. Those who have been in the league for a while will remember that Edwin Encarnacion was frequently threatening to set fire to VHL buildings if he didn’t get his way and even went to the point of threatening to shoot the VHLM TPE Index if he wasn’t put in charge of updating it (since we haven’t seen the VHLM TPE Index in a long time, we can only presume that it was shot anyway because Encarnacion “did it for the PIMS”). Threencarnacion appears to be following in the unconventional stead of his earliest predecessor, but at least his methods are not endangering any properties or lives.

 

So Edwin Threencarnacion released a statement this week to confirm that he would no longer be known as Threencarnacion, but would instead be using a different name in order to “raise awareness for a growing problem within the VHL”. That issue: sub-par hockey. Threencarnacion’s statement read as follows:

 

“As someone who has come from a long two-person line of talented and distinguished hockey players, I feel like it is my duty to help the game of hockey in any way I can to make it a better and more entertaining spectacle for our fans. That is why I come here today to raise awareness for an issue that has been bothering me for a long time and that is the deterioration of talent within the confines of the Victory Hockey League system. While in past seasons we’ve had plenty of teams field very capable hockey players, recently we’ve seen a sharp drop in what we could consider to be competitive teams. This has reached an apex of ridiculousness this season as we’ve seen over half of our VHL professional teams start multiple players who have no business playing any kind of role in a professional sports environment. This has led to a sharp decrease in quality across the league and has in turn had an impact on the respective fan bases of these teams that have been affected. Attendances in what were once proud hockey cities such as Toronto, Calgary and Cologne are struggling to fill even half of their arenas with fans less than interested in supporting a team that comprises of sub-minor league talent and players who are named after penis puns. Avid fans are now embarrassed to embrace the sport that they once loved and adored, diverting any topics of conversation that even look like they’re going to bring up the local hockey team so as to not send themselves into a depressed state. That is why I’m here to make a stand. That’s why I’m here to help those fans who’ve lost something very dear to them over the last few seasons, to fix a declining VHL. I will not idly sit on the bench and watch my league let a player with a name like “bags of dicks” step on our ice and ruin our game. That is why I am supporting a contraction of the VHL; let’s tighten the pool of players so that there aren’t 4-5 teams filled with sub-standard talent. Let’s make it so that fans who support the bigger teams will be encouraged to travel to watch their team play on the road instead of allowing them the excuse that their win is almost assured. Let’s make hockey fun damnit!

 

And I will start my stand for a better VHL right here, right now. As of right now, this is the last moment I will refer to myself as Edwin Threencarnacion, for that was my former name. I have elected to contract twenty percent of my name, as I believe the twenty percent of the VHL’s sides should be removed, and I will now be known as Edwi Threencarnac. Thank you very much.”

[Will 4,662]

I must say I have been thinking of this more and more. I don't really accept the argument that it shouldn't be done just because it 'looks weak', especially when it seems like pretty much all the older members that were around at the time have acknowledged that it was probably a mistake to expand even back then. And personally, I would prefer it to removing the VHLM. 

 

It is a big deal though, obviously I'm not saying anything officially here but I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on how you would see it going as far as distributing players and draft picks, cap space for remaining teams, etc. I suppose just some kind of dispersal draft would be best. 

[Tagger 2,722]

2 minutes ago, Will said:

I must say I have been thinking of this more and more. I don't really accept the argument that it shouldn't be done just because it 'looks weak', especially when it seems like pretty much all the older members that were around at the time have acknowledged that it was probably a mistake to expand even back then. And personally, I would prefer it to removing the VHLM. 

 

It is a big deal though, obviously I'm not saying anything officially here but I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on how you would see it going as far as distributing players and draft picks, cap space for remaining teams, etc. I suppose just some kind of dispersal draft would be best. 

Distributing players would be a very unique situation given how little players are probably going to be on the teams that would be in line for contraction. In league's where I've experienced contraction in the past, there was at least 2 rounds of solid players that would contribute to a team, whereas we may struggle to even get half a round depending on the players on the contracted teams. 

 

As for draft picks, the general rule of thumb for treating them as during contraction is any pick that the contracted team holds is considered void, but any picks they traded away are still considered active. E.g. If the contracted teams hold third and fourth overall, then the next pick after the second overall would be the team that holds fifth overall. However if a non-contracted team traded for third overall, then they would still be able to select with that pick. To stop any weirdness in that regard, depending on when contraction were implemented and the current status of the contracted teams, it might be a wise move would be to lock soon-to-be-contracted teams from trading away draft picks if it's announced a season in advance for example. 

 

As for salary cap, especially for now, the best thing would be to keep it as it is. One of my main reasons for suggesting contracting and why I was vehemently against upping the cap when it was suggested it could be heading into Season 53/54, is that right now, we're using so little of the league's available salary. If you gave everyone of VHL quality their minimum salary based on their TPE bracket, that only comes to $166M, which is only 51% of the league's current salary cap (65% of an eight team league's salary cap). Maybe with a good set of recruiting we could look to eventually up that, but if we were talking next season or two, upping the cap would be counter-intuitive to the purpose of contracting.

[hedgehog337 3,483]

22 hours ago, YEAH!stlemania said:

who are named after penis puns.

 

Who is it?

Edited May 4, 2017 by hedgehog337