Claimed: Kirk Lazarus - Player Biography

[RadiatedGold 34]

C H I L D  H O O D

Kirk Lazarus was born in Goose Creek, South Carolina. He didn't grow up with a rich family, nor a poor one. Son to a single father in the Air Force. And proud owner of a little golden retriever. Living in the south, Kirk grew playing football and baseball, and in the distant future wrestling. Hockey wasn't even a thought to him. Kirk grew up like every other kid in the South. Learned how to hunt, fish, go camping and every once in a while help his dad out with the car. Kirk was into video games too, eventually video games would lead him to the internet. He didn't find much time for the internet, but when he did he would play some sort of online game like Runescape. (He wouldn't know it at the time but he'd waste a lot of time on that game). His homepage was Yahoo, and on there he would read the headlines on current events and the such. It was here when he learned about the mysterious green men of the now defunct Vancouver Canucks. He learned of their cup run, and their success throughout the regular season. Interested? No. Not at all. He turned off the computer and went outside to play with his buddies.

 

Kirk and I would go through our child hood mostly playing outside playing kickball or frisbee. Sometimes going around the neighborhood shooting Nerf guns at each other and making elaborate situations out of them. Video gaming would become more and more frequent now. Travel baseball became a thing for Kirk, starting pitcher and sometimes 2nd base. He'd never admit it but he didn't really like baseball, he did did it just for his dad.

 

H I G H S C H O O L

Going through middle school, Kirk was one of the more popular kids in his year. He played sports, girls loved athletes. Kirk Lazarus was the guy "supposedly" named after Robert Downey Jr.'s character in Tropic Thunder. That was one of his pet peeves going through adolescence. Lazarus was an alright student. Wasn't the smartest but he did fine. Kirk would take college level courses and didn't have any serious thoughts about college. He thought about the military a few times, his dad turned out alright after his 20 years. Retire at 38, monthly retirement checks, sweet military perks like the GI Bill etc. Kirk had stopped playing baseball for a while, actually quit during spring practice to much everyone's surprise. Played as a tight end freshman year during high school, Kirk ended up going all the way to the state championships, but got blown out of water by his rival school. Losing hurts, and so did playing football. 

 

Hockey still wasn't really a thing yet. His school didn't actually have hockey funded by the school. Hockey was actually a club, a club where you would pay $500 to play. Kirk didn't really have much money anyways because of all of his football equipment. He didn't really have any money to begin with. His cleats actually belonged to his neighbor who had outgrown them, boy did they smell like ass. The hockey club's season was only about 16 games, not too much. They played every Friday night at the Ice Palace and practiced every weekend. Conditioning every Saturday, and some technical stuff on Sunday. You're probably wondering why Kirk decided to join the hockey club. Well why does anyone do anything at all? It was for a girl. There was this fine ass Canadian girl who came to his school during the end of his freshman year. It's funny cause she's got this weird accent, and she can't say "about", and anything with the letter "O" sounded funny. She really likes hockey and playing soccer. Kirk decided that hockey was probably the lesser evil. He had this slight disdain for one of the guys on the soccer team, guy was in his English class in fourth period, super annoying. 

 

Her name was Molly, and she used to be a midfielder for soccer at her old school. She likes to watch One Tree Hill  and shows like Grey's Anatomy. Sometimes they would study together, they of course would get sidetracked a little bit and the conversation would be about hockey or something. She used to be a Habs fan before the NHL disappeared from the face of the Earth. Kirk told her something stupid. He told her that he played hockey, and he damn well didn't. But he'd learn for her. Skating was the hard part, or maybe it wasn't. I actually don't know. I know that Kirk was skating every morning down at the rink, about a hour a day. He did it for a while, a long while. I think he hired a skating coach at some point too, but then I moved away for a year. By the time I came back he was probably the best skater I had ever seen, Molly and him were dating and he was was the captain of the school's club. He had gotten a bit bigger too, I like to joke about him getting fatter, but he could probably kill me with one punch. Watching him play was a whole other story though, I watched him in the season opener during junior year record 4 goals. It was wild, I was screaming and the small crowd was going in too. I thought it was going to be a lot more violent, Kirk only had one hit or two hits throughout the game. It's whatever though. By the time junior year was over, Kirk had set some crazy records at the high school level and was having meetings with college scouts and offers from the USHL like every day. And by the time senior year was over, he had broke his own records and received a few offers from the VHLM. I'm pretty sure he was going straight into the VHLM and skip college altogether. And I was just sitting around playing video games planning on joining the Air Force like his dad, I didn't really want to go to school either.

 

After graduation, Kirk moved to Nevada, I didn't know it at the time but he accepted an offer from the Las Vegas Aces. I think he actually proposed to Molly around the same time. I'm not sure he's been pretty hush hush about it. Me and the guys like to dog on him about it, and I mean we're teenagers why are you getting engaged and all that? I love Molly and all that, but I think it might be a mistake, I don't know. But here I am, being his biographer and he's making millions... I really, really hope he pays me for doing this.

 

Edited August 13, 2017 by RadiatedGold

[JardyB10 4,865]

I'm hooked!

[RadiatedGold 34]

5 minutes ago, JardyB10 said:

I'm hooked!

thanks bb

[DollarAndADream 3,356]

Getting off to a great start, bud.

[Beaviss 4,957]

Review: 

 

Great bio there is in depth detail as well as solid structure. You hit all the required points of the biography which is perfect. There is only a few small knocks that I would like to point out. Your bio could use some pictures and or some more color as well as im not sure why you changed from normal to italic half way through. Other then that its a fantastic in depth biography.

9/10