A Day in the Life of True North Executive Player Oleksiy Revechenko

[omgitshim 903]

 

 

Brzzt brzzt brzzt! The alarm sounds squarely at 4:32 AM every morning as Oleksiy Revechenko promptly jumps out of bed. He turns on the shower, and prepares his wear for the day. After showering, he heads to the kitchen to prepare his daily breakfast: three raw eggs, 1/4 cup of yogurt, 1/4 cup of orange juice, and a sprig of cilantro all blended into a fine smoothie. As he drinks his smoothie, he calls up True North Brand teammate Oyorra Arroyo to coordinate training for the day. Arroyo answers groggily, "¡Dios mío, son las cinco de la mañana, deja de llamarme tan temprano!" Revechenko sighs as he still has not learned enough Spanish to know just what Arroyo says every morning. It's a wonder that he hasn't been blocked yet.

 

Once finished with breakfast, Revechenko goes on his morning run. He loves the morning chill, and he feels the colder, the better. Every day he runs by the local Tim Horton's, stepping in for a quick breather, but never buying anything. The usual checker Liam Brown always tries to persuade him to get something, but Revechenko always refuses, sometimes ranting about the sins of capitalism in the process. Liam always shakes his head and sighs.

 

Midday comes around and Revechenko is already at the gym pumping iron. Sometimes he's with teammates, other times he's rolling solo. Always he's rocking the latest and greatest in True North Gear, and he always brings extra branded towels to share with the other patrons. No one ever takes him up on the offer, as Revechenko doesn't realize he shouldn't use the towel before passing them around. Honestly it's amazing that he sweats so much that he's able to soil ten towels in just an hour.

 

After working out, Revechenko hits the phones to continue pushing the brand. He's always attempting to reach out on the hottest new talent on the market, trying to secure them to the True North before they commit to another inferior brand. His vigorous efforts paid off today, as he signs Pat Svoboda for the season, the youngest player to join the roster. When he's not harassing young players, Revechenko spends his time harassing every retailer he can get a hold of, pushing the True North brand onto them until they reluctantly agree to sell the product. Opting to dedicate an end cap solely for True North gear was often a much better solution than having to listen to Revechenko's rants every day.

 

As they day winds down, Revechenko flips on the telly and sits down with a glass of fine wine. His wine addiction was his main motivation in taking the job as brand executive, as he needs that $1,250,000 to afford the finest wines that money can buy. He takes a sip as he stares at the television. Unfortunately, after spending all his money on wine, he could no longer afford his cable subscription, so the only thing he can watch is his old VHS tape of Tommy Boy. He can never get enough of the bees scene. Finally, the clock strikes 8, signaling it's time to retire. Revechenko shuts out the lights and heads to bed with his favorite teddy, Igor. Not a night goes by that he doesn't give Igor a good squeeze. By 8:30 he's out cold, slumbering for 8 hours and 2 minutes before he does it all again.

 

 

@AndrewWarren13

[AW13 198]

Haha love it!