Boris the Forest | Rookie Profile [2/2]

[chillzone 231]

 

Boris the Forest, after lighting up the lamp

 

Boris the Forest

Age: 19

Height: Unknown

Weight: Unknown

Nationality: USA

 

STRENGTHS

 

SCORING

Boris the Forest has two passions in life - his fandom for K-Pop Group Black Pink and Scoring in Hockey. Scoring is what pays Boris’ child support bills. He’s a shooter, a young Clint Eastwood. He's never shy to just shoot with as much force as possible. He often whispers “Kobe” to himself before every backhander and yells “Pew Pew Pew” after every goal. He’s known as Big Bad Wolf scorer of the VHLM (according to Boris’ MySpace page.)

 

DEFENSE

Boris the Forest is all power. He’s a giant on the ice rink, with Godzilla style might and fury. Doctors say Boris gets his defensive talents from his father, Horace the Forest, a knight at the local Medieval Times Dinner and Jousting Tournament. Boris is so fearsome at defense that his own teammates often avoid him in fear of his might prowess. (Editor’s Correction: teammates actually stay away from Boris because of his refusal to wear body deodorant.)

 

PASSING

Boris the Forest believes sharing is caring, thanks to a childhood well raised by Sesame Street. He believes generosity is the most vital skill in hockey and he strives to make sure his teammates get good looks. When he passes the puck, the game magically slows down and, as if carried by the grace of Angels, the puck lands perfectly in his teammates’ reach. 

 

WEAKNESSES

 

SKATING

Boris the Forest is a terrible skater. He’s absolutely terrible. He spends most games

wobbling in one place and using his hockey stick to help him balance upright. His coaches would yell at him to chase after the puck but Boris would just kinda waddle like a duck and clumsily fall down. Boris hopes to one day learn how to skate, but will get around to it “one day, after watching Game of Thrones reruns.” 

 

CHECKING

Checking is something that Boris the Forest is terrible at. Boris the Forest, at heart, is a coward, and he doesn’t want to get into a fight “in case he gets a boo boo.” Boris the Forest was born blessed with massive size and Herculean strength but unfortunately shies away from any kind of confrontation whatsoever. He ran home crying when an opponent accidentally shoved him. Boris the Forest knows that his refusal to fight is a problem and is trying to learn a martial arts skill or two. He’s currently a yellow belt in Judo.

 

FACEOFFS

Faceoffs are not something that Boris the Forest has spent any time on, mainly due to his dislike of the Nicolas Cage / John Travolta film “Face/Off”. He finds the idea of literally switching faces with someone to be terrifying and refuses to participate in anything face off related. His coaches have tried desperately to explain to Boris that faceoffs in hockey are different than faceoffs in the movie but he refuses to believe them. (Side note: His favorite John Travolta movie, by the way, is “Saturday Night Fever.” Boris loves disco.)

 

CONCLUSION

Boris the Forest is a long shot to make the VHL as his weaknesses overwhelm the few strengths that he has. Boris likes to brag that he’s the best Center in his generation but he’s likely to be a fringe player at best. While Boris the Forest may dream of VHL superstardom, the jury is still out on whether or not he’s a diamond in the rough or a bust. 

[PenKnight 23]

Review 1

 

Plenty of word count over 576!

I really liked the style of humor and education about Boris the Forest!

I did find it a strange combination of Blackpink mixed with Clint Eastwood!

Not sure Eastwood would approve of this K-Pop Group LOL!

Let us get that Skating up and moved into a Pro instead of a Con!

The Kings Need You!! GO MCK!!

 

[HenrikZoiderberg 469]

Review 2:

 

On 5/3/2019 at 8:30 AM, chillzone said:

Nationality: USA

 

Funny, he looks French.

 

This thing needs a summary to give us some brief details on top about Boris and what he's all about. What kind of player he is.

 

On 5/3/2019 at 8:30 AM, chillzone said:

Boris the Forest has two passions in life - his fandom for K-Pop Group Black Pink and Scoring in Hockey. 

 

He looks more like a Hyuna guy.

 

On 5/3/2019 at 8:30 AM, chillzone said:

mainly due to his dislike of the Nicolas Cage / John Travolta film “Face/Off”

 

Let's be real, that was purely a Nick Cage movie.

 

On 5/3/2019 at 8:30 AM, chillzone said:

Editor’s Correction: teammates actually stay away from Boris because of his refusal to wear body deodorant.

 

Like I said, French.

 

Conclusion looks good. Can tell you've put some serious work into this one. Good job!