FANG FLASHBACK PROFILE [1/2]

[uphillmoss 134]

Fang Flashback

     Okay so first off, this kid is insane. And I don’t necessarily mean that in a good way. He has skills that are useless for him, more flair then any other player ever, and a temper to go with it. Also I am pretty sure he is addicted to coke.

Pros

Scoring: He can almost score at will. He launches the puck at incredible speed. He has a vicious slap shot, it makes goalies want to just dive out of the way. He has been clocked at over 105 mph. He can place it anywhere he wants. He is so deadly that he has scored many goals from half ice. He also is almost guaranteed a goal when the other team pulls there goalie

Puck handling:

This kid has some of the softest hands I have ever seen. He can control the puck better than some of the league best. This is really impressive for some one of his size, as you would expect his body to just get in the way. Of course this isn’t really that helpful. Did I mention he was a goalie? Now you know what I mean about skills he doesn’t need.

Fighting skill: this one is kinda both a pro and a con. He has the skill to knockout the best enforcers in the league. His presence on the ice makes opposing teams think twice about messing with his teammates. You don’t protect this Goalie, he protects you. The problem with this is that he takes a lot of penalties. He is so aggressive that he has a fight almost every game, sometimes more than one. You have to wonder if those extra hits to his head hender his saves.

Cons

Actual goalie skills:

For all his flair, and extra skills, flashback lacks any sort of real skill as a goalie. His reactions are slow, and his positioning is poor. He also really loves making flashes saves. He dives at shots that would hit him in the shoulder. He also is obsessed with glove saves. Fang will practically hug the right post, just so he can try to make a glove save. He also has an inexplicable desire to stack his pads, and to lunge into incoming skaters.

Mentality:

Oh where do I even start? Do you know Patrick Roy? Yeah, Flashback makes that guy look like Mr. Rodgers. He is almost certainly clinically insane. He constantly slashes any player who gets close to him. He blames every goal on his defense. Fang once charged out of his crease on a breakaway, and body checked the player with the puck. The weirdest thing about him is one of the ways he likes to make saves. He will watch the puck and make a save with his. He is also a terrible locker room member. He fills the need to assert his dominance over his backup goalie. It will be interesting how he copes with being a backup goalie when he gets to the league. He also thinks he is incredible with the ladies, when really he should probably be made a sex offender. He also exhibits symptoms of a cocain addiction.

Conclusion

I pity the team that takes this guy

[HenrikZoiderberg 469]

Review:

 

Needs a picture and some formatting adjustmenets for sure. Play with headers, break up the wall of text and make it easy on the reader.

 

Needs a statistical summary.

 

On 7/2/2019 at 7:41 PM, uphillmoss said:

Okay so first off, this kid is insane. And I don’t necessarily mean that in a good way. He has skills that are useless for him, more flair then any other player ever, and a temper to go with it. Also I am pretty sure he is addicted to coke.

 

This tells us nothing and comes across like a fifteen year old talking about an older kid they think is cool. 

 

On 7/2/2019 at 7:41 PM, uphillmoss said:

He has been clocked at over 105 mph.

 

No, he hasn't. Among  trained grown men only a few have ever been able to shoot that fast. This is hyperbolic and takes away from your story.

 

You're missing a con and a conclusion.

 

This is low effort and shouldn't be approved.

[uphillmoss 134]

1 hour ago, HenrikZoiderberg said:

 

Needs a statistical summary.

No it doesn’t. 

1 hour ago, HenrikZoiderberg said:

This tells us nothing and comes across like a fifteen year old talking about an older kid they think is cool. 

No it doesn’t, it sets the tone and lets the reader know the kind of player they are dealing with. Maybe it could be worded a little bit better but still it is fine.

 

1 hour ago, HenrikZoiderberg said:

No, he hasn't. Among  trained grown men only a few have ever been able to shoot that fast. This is hyperbolic and takes away from your story.

Bitch it’s my player, I can say whatever I want to about him.

 

1 hour ago, HenrikZoiderberg said:

This is low effort and shouldn't be approved

I am sorry that me doing something different and fun offends you. If anything it should be praised for not following the same generic copy and paste format as everyone else!

[HenrikZoiderberg 469]

On 7/2/2019 at 7:41 PM, uphillmoss said:

Fang Flashback

     Okay so first off, this kid is insane. And I don’t necessarily mean that in a good way. He has skills that are useless for him, more flair then any other player ever, and a temper to go with it. Also I am pretty sure he is addicted to coke.

Pros

Scoring: He can almost score at will. He launches the puck at incredible speed. He has a vicious slap shot, it makes goalies want to just dive out of the way. He has been clocked at over 105 mph. He can place it anywhere he wants. He is so deadly that he has scored many goals from half ice. He also is almost guaranteed a goal when the other team pulls there goalie

Puck handling:

This kid has some of the softest hands I have ever seen. He can control the puck better than some of the league best. This is really impressive for some one of his size, as you would expect his body to just get in the way. Of course this isn’t really that helpful. Did I mention he was a goalie? Now you know what I mean about skills he doesn’t need.

Fighting skill: this one is kinda both a pro and a con. He has the skill to knockout the best enforcers in the league. His presence on the ice makes opposing teams think twice about messing with his teammates. You don’t protect this Goalie, he protects you. The problem with this is that he takes a lot of penalties. He is so aggressive that he has a fight almost every game, sometimes more than one. You have to wonder if those extra hits to his head hender his saves.

Cons

Actual goalie skills:

For all his flair, and extra skills, flashback lacks any sort of real skill as a goalie. His reactions are slow, and his positioning is poor. He also really loves making flashes saves. He dives at shots that would hit him in the shoulder. He also is obsessed with glove saves. Fang will practically hug the right post, just so he can try to make a glove save. He also has an inexplicable desire to stack his pads, and to lunge into incoming skaters.

Mentality:

Oh where do I even start? Do you know Patrick Roy? Yeah, Flashback makes that guy look like Mr. Rodgers. He is almost certainly clinically insane. He constantly slashes any player who gets close to him. He blames every goal on his defense. Fang once charged out of his crease on a breakaway, and body checked the player with the puck. The weirdest thing about him is one of the ways he likes to make saves. He will watch the puck and make a save with his. He is also a terrible locker room member. He fills the need to assert his dominance over his backup goalie. It will be interesting how he copes with being a backup goalie when he gets to the league. He also thinks he is incredible with the ladies, when really he should probably be made a sex offender. He also exhibits symptoms of a cocain addiction.

Conclusion

I pity the team that takes this guy

 

Here's an example of how this can be improved.

 

Rookie Report: Fang Flashback

 

 

Age: 18

Height: 6'1

Weight: 190 lbs

Birthplace: London, ON, Canada

Position: Goalie

 

A tempermenal young player from Canada's Junior leagues, Flashback is looking to put the Flash back into professional hockey. His on-ice antics clearly demonstrate a love of the game, though a high level of discipline is going to have to be learned for this young player to be able to be successful in the major leagues. There is a concern that there have been substance abuse issues in the Reapers' locker room which are rumored to center around Flashback, but nothing has been confirmed as both coaching and leadership staff in the organzation have remained tight-lipped.

 

Pros

 

Scoring:

Flashback poses a serious scoring threat, with his primary strength coming from his one-timer. Coach reports have already showed it landing in the high-90 MPH range, and with increased training and as his frame fills out, this could easily reach or even eclipse the 105 MPH record that was attained at last year's all-star skills competition. For having such a strong shot, Flashback is eerily accurate as well, and is known to be able to pick corners even when the puck comes at him on an edge. 

 

Puck Handling:

Complementing his ability to shoot is his ability to settle and control the puck as it comes to Fang. As a goalie, this has allowed him to make plays in behind the net and at times act as a third defenseman on the ice. With focus on improving his passing, this could lead to a game-breaking advantage against other teams that aren't as aggressive on the forecheck.

 

========================================================================================================

 

See where I'm going with this?

[Jubo 1,839]

This is the issue with reviews; that being said most people are respectable on how they go about providing criticism. Really no need to be this offensive towards someone else's written material. @uphillmoss try to move past this nonsense buddy and keep up your players rp the way you want. Its a sim league, we can portray our players in whatever way we want. We’ve literally had players claiming to be from other planets. It’s more fun to read when its edgy and such. Nothing wrong with separating from the cookie cutter layout.

[Nykonax 1,566]

1 minute ago, Jubo07 said:

This is the issue with reviews; that being said most people are respectable on how they go about providing criticism. Really no need to be this offensive towards someone else's written material.

He's not being offensive, he stated the problem with it. Which I agree with. It needs formatting, it needs stats, it also needs another con. Otherwise it doesn't even follow the RP guidelines.

https://vhlforum.com/topic/15247-rookie-profile-guidelines/

 

I don't really have a problem with his goalie's 105 mph slapshot. But there is a problem with the writing, there are a ton of typos, misused words, missing words, capitals for no reason. You can tell this was made in 5 minutes.

 

Zoiderberg even went out of his way to give a full on example of how he could improve it.

[DollarAndADream 3,357]

It can definitely look better to the eye, with some bolding of the headings and a picture at the top.

 

Quote

Fang Flashback

     Okay so first off, this kid is insane. And I don’t necessarily mean that in a good way. He has skills that are useless for him, more flair then any other player ever, and a temper to go with it. Also I am pretty sure he is addicted to coke.

This part I'm fine with. It's a little player summary before the bulk of the Rookie Profile. You can summarize your player however you want, really....as long as it's hockey related or at least somewhat.

 

The Pros are obviously out of left field for a goaltender, but I don't see any big reason why you can't write those as pros for a goalie. It's just a role playing thing anyways. Most Rookie Profiles are more or less the same, so yours has some more originality for sure. I don't care if you write that a goalie has a 105mph slap shot. That can be a pro if you want it to be. Obviously it's pretty irrelevant for a goaltender most of the time, but this stuff is all made up anyways.

 

You're missing a con as well, which is part of the guidelines to have 3 pros and 3 cons. The brief info about height, weight, hometown etc should be in there too but it's not bad.

 

An RP is a once per career thing, so I'd definitely make sure it's up to par with the guidelines at the very least. Everything else you can have fun with it.

 

 

@uphillmoss@HenrikZoiderberg

No need to argue, you two. It's a league for fun. I'd edit in some of that little info that are in the guidelines just to top this thing off, otherwise it's fine with me.