Predicting one of the new VHL franchises

[enigmatic 504]

In one of the most inhospitable places known to mankind, to the far north of Russia, a small community of roughly 40 souls claims to be able to predict the future. "How do they do it", you may wonder. Well, they pit bloodthirtsy turtles against each other and paint said turtles in the colour of whatever they want to predict. Will spring come early? Slap some yellow paint on a turtle and some white on another and see which one survives. They claim they've been doing this for centuries. How did they get access to turtles being this isolated? Who knows... the mystery remains.

 

Media from various hopeful nations sent journalists to this community to find out if they would welcome a VHL franchise in the near future. It doesn't sound like a very trustworthy way to predict the future but some time ago, the turtles correctly predicted that Baboushka Valeria would have a son and surely enough, 8 months later, baby Igor was born. So you can be damned sure that if they say Funkley, Minnesota is getting a team, Funkley, Minnesota is gonna get that team.

 

There were representatives from Paris, Prague, Oxford, Cologne and Planken present. The guy from Planken got his trip paid by his employer, some cult, because he thought this would be about converting those people. He was a little pissed when he found out it was about predicting which European nation would get a VHL expansion team and the cult was forced to file for bankruptcy. The journalist from Paris brought a little beret for his turtle for good luck. Because we all know as far as fighting is concerned, France has been doing very well over the past 100 years.

 

Actual picture from the fight, in cold Russia

 

The battle was violent and bloody. Long story short, Prague is getting a team. You heard it here first. Actually no but like, 5th.

[Motzaburger 1,590]

Looks like a Hawaiin beach tbh