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Greg Harbinson Blackmailed?

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SEATTLE - The Victory Hockey League was stunned yesterday when the longtime General Manager of the Seattle Bears, Greg Harbinson, suddenly stepped down. The Bears were further rocked when star center Zack Sound also abruptly retired, leaving Seattle without two key pillars to their foundation after this season. Some claim that the writing was on the wall for both of them, but others maintain that something had to happen to force out Harbinson in such a hurry. But what could it be?

 

Does Seattle's performance have something to do with it? Widely predicted to win not only the American Conference, but the Continental Cup as well, the Bears have struggled mightily this season. Currently behind the New York Americans by five points, there is no guarantee that Seattle will even reach the playoffs after such lofty expectations were placed upon them. Naturally, Seattle's fan base and ownership have been extremely critical of the team lately. It's not terribly far-fetched to think an under-performing Bears team could have sunk Harbinson. But why would that lead to Zack Sound suddenly retiring?

 

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Perhaps it could be Sergey Brovalenko? Might the presumed-troublesome center have something to do with it? With Zack Sound widely believed to be a key component of the Season 37 United States international team, could the salty Russian be taking the Americans down a peg? However, this is nothing more than incoherent rambling. With Brovalenko playing his last season in the VHL, he will not be suiting up for the USSR after he plays his last shift with the HC Davos Dynamo. Jesse Ventura is really the only one who would truly believe Brovy has anything to do with it.

 

Now, who could really stand to benefit from both Harbinson AND Sound's departure? It doesn't take any thought at all: Tyler Barabash did. He has been quoted as saying he would do anything it takes in order to become a general manager in the VHL again. His player, Damon Tyrael, could stand to immediately become a first line center with Sound gone, as Ethan Osborne is retiring after this season as well. Both of them got exactly that with the sudden departures of both Harbinson and Sound.

 

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However, wanting and summarily getting exactly what you want a matter of months after arriving somewhere doesn't exactly make you a guilty man. But when it was known that Barabash desperately wanted a VHL job (along with a USFL position to boot), why push to move to Seattle unless you know you've got dirt that could wedge your way right on into that job? Did he know that Harbinson wanted out of Seattle? Did he find a stash of French ticklers in the front office? As entertaining as it would be to find out what got Greg Harbinson out of Seattle's front office, it doesn't change the fact that David Copperfield is now the big cheese for the Bears. The audience turns their captivated eyes towards Barabash, hoping that their team will not be abandoned yet again. Seattle couldn't bear something like that right now.

 

Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times, who recently ragefucked TMZ to death. He enjoys using techno music to put holes in his enemies' brains, using leather whips to fight evil and rambling for points.

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Guest Svoboda_3

Content: 3/3

551 words. Quite the conspiracy theory. I don't know why the USFL fits in there, but despite that blurb, the Media Spot was good. I thought you wedged the sword in there well, creating all sort of theories. Good stuff. Sad to see Greg go though.

Grammar: 2/2

American Conference = North American Conference

general manager = General Manager

 

Appearance: 1/1

Nice job!

Overall: 6/6

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