Worst Junior Review you'll read

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Rara Rasputin Junior Review

 

Rara Rasputin, Russia's Greatest Love Machine. Quite a title for an unknown 30-year-old goaltender just entering his first professional season in the VHLM. Yes, that's right, Rasputin turned professional the moment he signed for the Miami Marauders a few weeks ago. What's more, he also became a hockey player in general at the same time.

 

So what has this wonderfully named player been doing up until now? Well he was a professional dancer, but this didn't really work out as he is also ridiculously tall. Then he got obsessed with weight lifting and began entering those “World's Strongest Man” contests and even changed his name so it would be something more memorable. It's not all noise of course, multiple sources tell me he is in fact Russia's greatest love machine. A fine specimen Rasputin is.

 

Nonetheless, that all begs the question – what is he doing in the VHLM now? How does a dancing weight lifter with no hockey experience became the chosen successor (presumably) to Moscow Menace's franchise goaltender Raymond Bernard? The answer lies in two factors that really have nothing to do with Rasputin – the coronavirus outbreak of 2020 and one bored GM/player agent. Firstly, the COVID pandemic this year and subsequent lockdowns in many countries including Rasputin's home town of Moscow made lots of the entertainment industry unviable, including all of Rasputin's jobs. Secondly, Moscow GM Victor Alfredsson was on the hunt for the franchise's next starting goaltender and had previously had great success as the agent of Greg Clegane. Clegane, for those too young to remember, was an absolute mammoth of a man who also came into the VHL in his 30s. As such, despite it going against the grain for goaltending prospects, Alfredsson set out to find local talents who would fit his template.

 

At the time of the search, Rasputin was ready to grab any job opportunity which would come his way and was intrigued by the ad put out by Moscow's recruitment team. We are told that in the try-outs behind closed doors, Rasputin did not stand out in too many traditional goaltending attributes. However, he did tick the boxes of size and based on his past, agility, and that was enough to earn the trust of GM Alfredsson. Was it a gamble that looks to pay off? Recapping Rasputin's time in Miami will be interesting but we've seen a mixed bag of results so far. Time will tell whether Bernard's chosen successor lives up to the billing.

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