Seabass

Seabass Perrin was a former VHL defender who played 576 games for a full 8 season career. He wasn't a superstar by any means but he ended up being one of the early building blocks of the Prague Phantoms franchise that got created in S68. He was a solid two way defender and gathered up over 400 points in his playing days and carved out a respectable career over his 7 seasons in Prague and his jersey is now hanging from the rafters of the 02 arena. During his curtain call season in Prague, Perrin announced to the press that he was opening up a night club/restaurant in downtown Prague in a joint venture with former Phantoms teammate Alex Pearson @Jayrad28 Seabass however was still playing hockey for the Phantoms so he let Pearson take on most of the duties during their first year in business. Turns out that it was an unwise decision to trust a well known alcoholic and party animal to run a nightclub. The business bled money and didn't even last a year before closing down during the beginning of the pandemic. Pearson used the business to fuel his partying lifestyle and ended up turning the business into a front for moving cocaine and other drugs. Eventually Pearson got pinched and he's now serving time in the big house. Perrin had planned his post hockey career around running this club but the nightclub had shuttered down before the his last season even ended. So when he retired he didn't have anything to immediately fall back on. "I went through a rough patch after my hockey career ended. I was still reeling from the loss of my club and the legal bullshit afterwards but there was also the culture shock, I didn't know what to do with myself without hockey. I stopped going to the gym and gained some weight as I started not eating right anymore. Also after 6 years of sobriety and I relapsed and started drinking again. Just like that, after a hard time, the demons that I thought I had conquered came back to haunt me again and I was a wreck." -Seabass Perrin Eventually Perrin found the courage to jump back on the wagon and has cleaned up his act once again. He's now been sober once again for 3 years and has since founded his own agency and currently represents former 3rd overall pick, The Seabasstard. He also recently opened up his own marijuana dispensary and has been a big advocate for marijuana and made claims that weed was critical in his road to sobriety and continues to help him manage pain from old hockey injuries. His dispensary is in his hometown of Calgary, Alberta in a old Royal Bank location and he conveniently named his store Royal Dank and only made slight modifications to the bank old signage. The dispensary has been a hit and Seabass is convinced to have found his calling. "I really love everything about this plant the smell, the medical benefits, the high, everything. Weed has really helped me in life and to be able to grow it, sell it and talk about it all day, man I feel like i'm living the dream. Darren McCarty was on to something there. " -Seabass Perrin

Well i'm excited to announce that The Seabasstard has become my first player ever to reach the 30 goal milestone after he posted up a goal and a assist in his last game against H.C Davos. The Seabasstard played well enough to earn himself the honor of being named the 1st star of the game. It was too bad that it was all in a losing effort as the Menace lost their 3rd straight game and 2nd in a row to the Davos squad. "It felt good to hit that milestone after only playing 48 games. I feel like I've really come into my own this year and this is turning out to be quite the career year for me. I'm just happy that all my hard work is finally paying off. It was pointed out to me that my player may have a good case for being a candidate to win the Dustin Funk Award for most improved player. Which would of course be icing on the cake for the year i'm having but truly the one trophy i'm most interested in is the coveted Continental Cup." -The Seabasstard Now I only need to pick up one more goal and I officially have scored just as many goals this year as the two seasons prior put together.

claiming week 3/4

1. I'm pretty confident we can, we got a good crew here this year and I think we're gonna go far. 2.Malmo obviously, theyre the returning champs and are the closest to us in the standings. 3. Maybe, but I feel like they're in the weaker conference so maybe not. 4.I'd like to hit the 50 point mark, almost there! 5. I don't know they're both having good years. Stein has been stellar though and there no indication that he'll let up anytime soon. 6. Slapshot hands down

Over the weekend, Moscow Menace forward , The Seabasstard was caught taking advantage of the sunny weather by hosting a little pick up street hockey game in a open parking lot in downtown Moscow. Locals who were simply passing by joined in and eventually word got out that a Menace player was there playing and signing autographs and the parking lot just filled right up with obsessed hockey fans and kids wanting to get in on the game of street hockey. It started as just the one game being played to having 4 games being played simultaneously as people started to swarm in to play. Turns out, The Seabasstard was fundraising and taking donations for the local hospital fund and raised over 10 000$ for the cause over the weekend. "We as players have to do more to give back to the communities in which we play. Our fans idolize our team and our players and without them buying tickets and showing interest in the games I wouldn't have a job. This is the least I can do for the city of Moscow who has welcomed me with open arms since I first got here. "

Claiming week 2/4

Giving the guys a breather this week. Presser Questions for my beloved team mates. 1. The season has started and we've opened it up with a hell of a run. How does it feel to finally have a winning record? 2. Who on your team has surprised you the most with their good play so far? (btw the answer should be idaho he's killing it) 3. Which one of our many offseason additions have impressed you the most? 4. Name a tune you are finding yourself jamming out to lately? 5. Does the Moscow Menace have a mascot? Seriously I don't know i'm asking here. If not create an idea for one. 6. Are you a fan of any other sport other than hockey? If so I want to know what your into!

Jp camus still up for grabs?

1. First off, my mind was blown to just how many moves were made, that takes quite a bit of planning and talks in a short period of time to make it all work. I think someone didn't get much sleep that week. I feel good about the changes thought, I think we're heading down the right path. 2.Oh yeah i'm ready for it. Been working on my game all offseason and I think it's paid off and im eager to show my teammates how much i've improved. 3. I think we'll compete for the cup with these most recent veteran additions. But I feel like any team from the European Conference will have to go through Malmo to get to the finals and that's a hard task to accomplish. They are the reigning champs after all, they have a good team what can I say. 4. Pre-season doesn't really interest me, talk to me when the real games start. I'm excited for the season however, and I'm excited to get fantasy hockey going. 5. Cheese? can't go without the cheese it just wont be a pizza anymore. 6. I don't know if theres a real loser yet but the winners are the Toronto Legion. Not only did our traded 1st round pick turn into a top 5 selection but the Legion had a total of 3 top 5 selections. That should help them compete in a few years, kinda like what we went through.

Well it seems like I'm having a good start to the season for the first time ever, which is great to see. I've gotten used to slow starts and usually my player has not played well in the first half of a season, usually he gathers most of his points once the Moscow Menace is already out of playoff contention, useless. The Seabasstard has been real hot for his standards and has been a point per game player for the first time of his career, collecting 13 points in 10 games so far. His line along with Lexi Glass and rookie Mikey Markov stumbled for the first two games of the season but it's been on fire ever since. When asked about his performances the Seabasstard had this to say: " Well if you do all the things your supposed to do as a professional like work out, eat right and practice hard, good things will eventually happen. For me it's taken 2 seasons but good things are finally happening."

Alright it's opening week of Season 80 and every VHL team has gotten around 8 or 9 games under their respective belts. The Malmo Nighthawks and the D.C. Dragons were expected to both be strong teams this year and it seems like both teams have made good on those expectations by starting out the year with the early lead of their respective conferences. The Dragons (6-2-0) are currently leading the North American Conference with 12 points and the defending champion Nighthawk team (8-1-0) is currently the top team in the league and are leading the European Conference with 16 points. Some team's like the Toronto Legion and the Helsinki Titans however have only recorded a single win so far are showing early signs that they're going to have to go through a rough times this season. The Seattle Bears who lost in last year's finals against the Nighthawks haven't been much better than the Legion/Titans and have had quite the fall from grace since making the finals and are struggling out of the gate and have only managed to pick up a couple of wins so far this season. Then there's the Menace. After being a VHL bottom feeder for years the Menace have come flying out of the gate with a 7-1 record and a suddenly explosive offense. They are currently trailing the Nighthawks by only two points for top team in the league standings. This is such a drastic transformation has got the league talking and the Menace bringing on a bunch of new bandwagon fans. The Menace team went through quite a few changes during the last offseason and were hoping to make more of a impact this year as they are chasing their first ever playoff berth in 4 seasons. Their GM, Spartan made a lot of moves to pick up core pieces for his team during the last few years and I bet he's really hoping that those moves start paying off for him, now. Today I'll be highlighting Spartan's offseason changes to his Menace squad and I'll be touching base with him to gain some insight on some of these moves straight from the source. Trading Kyle Glass for Kevin King @Tbeez99 @IamMOOSE Yeah yeah I know this wasn't a offseason move, but I felt I should talk about this trade deadline acquisition anyways since it did affect a future move made by the team. The Menace acquired veteran centerman Kevin King from the London United as well as a third round selection in S81 in return for a younger winger in Kyle Glass. Glass was drafted in 22nd Overall by Moscow in the S77 draft and wasn't getting much ice time with the Menace and was having a poor year scoring only 20 points in 62 games and going -10. He was given a change of scenery and has since broke out with the United team scoring 23 points in 21 games. King at the time of the trade was already a PPG player scoring 67 points in 59 games for London. Moscow's chances to make the playoffs were on the verge of being over and King who only had another season left to his career was a last ditch effort by the Moscow GM to make a cinderella run to a playoff berth. That obviously didn't work out as King only scored a single point for the Menace and went -3 to close off the year. At this point you just gotta hope that King still has enough left in the tank to return to form for his last season in the VHL. Acquiring Tyler Walker @Advantage Spartan didn't fuck around and the day the trade freeze was lifted he made his first move of the off season and acquired veteran defender Tyler Walker in return for a third round selection in the S80 draft. Walker is a veteran of 7 VHL seasons and spent his last two years playing for the Calgary Wranglers before the trade. The Menace will be the fourth and last team he will play on as this will be his last season before retirement as he's been in the league a while and Walker will soon find himself needing a walker himself cus he's old as shit. Walker showed last season that he can still play at a elite level and is coming off a 62 point season playing on a mediocre Wrangler's team. Walker definitely improves this team as Moscow is still for the most part a younger team and veterans like Walker might be needed to push this team to the next level. Also, for the last few seasons the Menace has been pretty thin on the blueline and adding Walker to the group of Bob Tristan, Hard Markinson and Aurelien Moreau might now make this one of the best bluelines in the league. Trading away King for Lexi Glass @AW13 Remember that King guy I talked about earlier? Well turns out he didn't end up staying in Moscow after that 9 game trial run at the end of S79. Shortly after the Walker trade went down, King along with a 3rd rounder was traded to Warsaw in return for winger, Lexi Glass who is a year younger than King. A good thing to note is that Glass is a player that has already played a total 67 career playoff games and has won the Continental Cup in S78 so Moscow is getting a boat load of playoff experience in this trade. Also this is a player that was just a single point shy from reaching the 100 point milestone last year. What Moscow is getting here is a prime time elite winger that knows how to win games and they only gave up a player that just wasn't gelling with the Menace's style of game for some odd reason. Hopefully Glass can experience a hell of a season here in Moscow and I hope we can convince her to stay here for another year after this one. Trading away captain Tristan for Johansson: @N0HBDY @Gwdjohnson All of a sudden, out from left field the Menace decided to surprise all their fans by continuing the habit of trading away their captains by trading Bob Tristan to Los Angeles in exchange for a cheaper defender in Arvid Johansson. This left people scratching their heads as Tristan was a vocal member of the team's locker room atmosphere. Spartan assured his team to have patience and that more moves were in the works and a drop in salary was necessary for future plans. Still Tristan will be missed as he was a steadying presence on a rather poor blueline for a few years while the team was going through their hard rebuild years. Still Johansson is no slouch he plays a very responsible game and already has the composure level of a VHL pro despite being a young defender. Johansson just finished out a solid rookie campaign with the L-A Stars scoring 29 points and going +24. Johansson still has time to grow as a player where Tristan was pretty much at his peak so this wasn't a bad trade to make at all. Yeah it's a slight downgrade but it might be a good move for the team long term and who knows Johansson with hard work can always end up becoming a better defender than Tristan ever was. After seeing how Moscow has the tendency to trade their captains I'm convinced the captain's seat in Moscow is in fact cursed and if that's the case new captain Philip Stein should be looking to sell his home in Moscow soon enough. When asked about the Menace Captaincy curse: "I've joked around a bit that the captain role is a curse on this team, and I suppose there is some merit to it. The last time I named a defenseman, Fat Palloon, as team captain in S76, he was traded to Prague mid-season in exchange for cap relief and future assets. The captaincy in Moscow generally works in a simple way, where one of the longest tenured, active members of the team receives the C. It's been that way since before I even took over this team. It also sort of works in a negative way, since older players with a lot of tread on their tires end up as prime candidates for trades to acquire more draft picks, and to free up cap space." -Spartan, Menace GM Trading away Bowman and Lemiuex to Toronto: @BrutalBoost @hockeyis66 This big trade didn't involve the acquisition of anybody really it was more of a move to get rid of a few contracts to free up some cash to make a gamble on some other moves and maybe acquire a UFA or two. The contracts the team decided to part with was Andrew Bowman and Jaromir Lemiuex and this trade must've hurt to make as Bowman is the AGM here in Moscow and this move must've tugged at some of Spartan's heart strings. But it ain't all bad. With S79 1st Overall pick, Papa Emeritus surpassing Bowman in TPE , Bowman was going to be relegated from the team's starting role to that of the backup. This trade gives Bowman a chance to continue being a starting netminder in the VHL. Jaromir Lemiuex who was also given up in the deal was a rookie coming off a spectacular rookie season in which he was third in rookie scoring with 50 points and was a contender for the Stolzschweiger trophy which is awarded to the league's rookie of the year. Unfortunately Lemiuex has vanished from the VHL hockey scene and is currently considered an inactive player, hence why Moscow could all of sudden want to part ways with him. When asked about how hard it was to trade Bowman away: "It's usually quite difficult to trade away any active player, let alone someone who I rely on as my AGM and have a good relationship with. However, trading Bowman away in this instance was actually easier than you might imagine. We'd actually spoken about this quite a while ago, where he even brought up the idea of sending Bowman to another team for assets, or some cap help. Toronto was a great fit since they had no starting goaltender at all, so he'd get quite a large number of minutes which would be good for his development" -Spartan, Menace GM The Acquisition of Rara Rasputin @Victor Once the UFA season came about it finally all made sense why the Menace was dropping all that salary. They were planning all along to make a free agency pitch to bring back goaltender Rara Rasputin who the Menace drafted 16th Overall back in Season 75 before trading him after his rookie season to Seattle in return for an older and more experienced netminder at the time Jacob Tonn. Rasputin of course then went on to have a pretty successful 4 seasons in Seattle and has won a Continental Cup and a Daisuke Kanou trophy with the Bears in S77 and has backstopped his team to three straight finals appearances. Rasputin like Glass is bringing in tons of playoff experience to a team who hasn't made the playoffs let alone play in them in a long time. This of course relegates Papa Emeritus to the backup role once again but @Beketov sees what's best for the team has been nothing but professional and accepting to his backup role. When discussing the Rasputin trade the GM had this to add: "We had our eyes on signing Rara Rasputin to the team from the time we knew he planned to leave Seattle. He was a former top pick by our organization years ago, and bringing him back in his prime was an opportunity we couldn't pass up. Unfortunately, we were in quite the cap bind, and our plan was to trade just Bowman and Lemieux away to make room for Rasputin. However, that would have left us with 5 forwards, 4 defensemen and 2 goalies, and we really wanted to run a proper 6-4-2. That meant that we had to send away Tristan and his $3 milllion cap hit and bring in two players on rookie contracts who would combine for $3 million - Johansson and Markov. A difficult decision to make, but one that was necessary for our organization, and also sets us up nicely for the future with two young players coming in to replace some veterans." -Spartan, Menace GM All this playoff experience will be highly valuable to this young team and I think the odds of this team making the playoffs this season has greatly improved with this years additions. The Menace just didn't have much when it came to experience and our team was consistently cracking under pressure last year and moves were made to address the problem. Now it's up to the younger players on the team to take in as much as they can from these veteran leaders while they're here and apply the new found wealth of knowledge to their own games. If that happens this year, the Menace might finally be a real Menace to the VHL standings in S80. @Spartan

Aw fuck I hate hearing people die so young from cancer thats sad and fucken sucks. My condolences to the people that knew her.

Aurelien Moreau and Paul Atreides @tinafrombobsburgers

Oh shit that's right. Never been first or last before this is new. Kassper kankhonen