FacePuncher

Seriously though I saw plenty of people on campus wearing some today

You were both at 7 if my numbers are right

Yeah, but I don't do much running. Plus I need shoes that breathe, nothing breathes like slides. Plus in so lazy that even the action of putting on real shoes is just too much

Why don't YOU have cargo pants?

Wouldn't have had to ride the bench if you weren't such a scrub

Now youre catching on

Would confirmed feed my puppies before I feed myself tho.

Worst thing is lack of puppies in my apartment tbh

Ah, I just don't count any league they aren't taken in.

I like the way you think

Moving back in with my parents in Missouri would make my daily commute to my Texas college pretty rough

That would leave me with less than $200 to live off of for 3 months lol

I won't, it's just hard to check in now with this POS phone

I generally walk a lot since college and no car. And i do wear slides so they are bad shoes haha

I don't fucking know! Lol

Wanna hear about what has happened in my life lately? Probably not bud I don't care, I need 1 TPE so here we go! - My friends gf has gone super religious and assholey so we have been trying to cheer him up lately. Fun fact, according to his girl I am 'ungodly' - This girl im into is a Patriots fan. Might have to reconsider lol. But actually she's really cool and lately we have been talking a lot more which is really awesome. Her birthday is tomorrow. Gotta remember that! - I have to do a lot of stuff for this class on Tuesday and i haven't started yet. Honestly, this school semester is a shit show, should be my easier semester but I am just not in a good mental place for school. - I've been playing a lot of NHL 17. My be a pro just got 106 points and 67 goals in his first year in the WHL. Ive got 7 games left and in trying really hard to catch wlthe guy in front of me in the league in points. - I've been getting a lot of soreness in my legs lately. Friday my shins were killing me and today my right thigh is super stiff. It's annoying - I ripped one of my pairs of cargo shorts. Since I have no jeans and 1 pair of khakis that totally doesn't fit, I now have the choice of basketball shorts, sweatpants, and my one pair of cargo shorts. - I've had some weird reminiscing lately. Thinking of some old friends and people I've met, wearing a certain combo of clothes that brings back some mixed memories. It's all kinda weird right now. - my apartment won't let pizza guys deliver in it anymore. In contemplating starting a riot - I've been sleeping with my speaker so that the vibrations can lull me to sleep instead of me just staying up as long as possible which generally ends in me oversleeping. I think thats it For Podarok

Lemme tell ya something, this phone is a piece of crap. I don't have a lot of apps on here, but it's already nearly full of its 8 GB storage which is bs! It runs hella slow, acts up, and makes writing articles hard. It's made my involvement in WebSim hockey plummet, since the site is way too sophisticated AKA has too many ads to run properly on mobile it's just a wreck and I barely check it now which is sad. Also, this has made writing articles super hard for me, proof of which from the fact that I claimed welfare for Podarok last week. This phone is just a pain in the ass and it's making me really angry and it doesn't help with my mood! Right now though, I only have slightly more than 1k to my name, so getting a computer is out, unless it's a Chromebook which I don't really want because that's just pretty lame. Then I could get an iPad but that's also expensive and they're supposedly about to make a new one so why buy his one now and have it be outdated in a couple months! This is bullshit For McChunky

??? Thrower was only picked in one draft, so his ADP can't be a decimal it's just 29 Also he's the 4th lowest.

Beating me to my ADP stuffs

McChunky's crazy offseason SkateFast McChunky has already had quite the career. After winning the Founders' Cup with Saskatoon in his first season in the VHLM, he came just one win short from another cup with Yukon. This offseason, however, had a lot in store for him. McChunky would be declaring for the draft, but he was very much an unknown. GMs knew he was a freak specimen, but they didn't know much else besides that. In order to find out what hey we're getting in McChunky, GMs would have to dig to find out. Not many did. Come draft day, McChunky had interest from two teams, Stockholm and Quebec. Of course, they wanted to come see McChunky play and see what they had before taking a chance on him with a high pick. However, McChunky refused unless they would supply him with hotel accommodations and enough food for his entire stay. Experts estimated the costs for that to be upwards of $12,600 for just the day. Because of this, the two GMs backed off. Come draft day, Stockholm decided to cave into McChunky's demands. After downing 3 buckets of KFC, he proceeded to skate one of the fastest laps of any prospect in the draft. Management was very impressed and assured him that come draft day he would be wearing a Stockholm jersey. At the draft, McChunky was like a kid in a candy store. The all you can eat buffet was nearly cleaned out after McChunky was finished with it, and he got to settle down and spend some quality time with his momma, Tubbette, his father, Lardo, and his two brothers, Fatso and EatFast. It was nice to get to sit down with the whole McChunky clan and just relax for once and not worry about hockey. Going into the draft, McChunky was hoping to get his name called at 3rd overall, hoping to beat the 5th overall of his fellow Agency mate, Bogdan Podarok. However, when the time came, John Locke was called instead of him. McChunky was confused, Stockholm said they would take him! He didn't realize until later that they had another first round pick. After a few picks of not hearing his name get called, McChunky started to get nervous. When 10th overall came around, the Commissioner William Draper called out his name: SkateFast McChunky! He rumbled to the stage and grabbed his jersey, excited to be a part of the VHL! But before draft day ended, McChunky was thrown for a loop. About 2 hours after the draft, McChunky got a call from the GM of Quebec to tell him some big news: he had been traded to them! SkateFast was taken aback! He had just become a Stockholm Viking and now he was already on a different team. He has trusted the Vikings with a lot of info that other GMs didn't have, and without telling him he was shipped off! The Quebec GM wanted to meet with him right away McChunky didn't know much about Quebec, but he had heard bad rumors about them during the cursed Lincoln days, so he was very concerned. When McChunky sat down with the Quebec GM, he seemed very personal and easy to talk with! He was pleasantly surprised and was even able to talk to fellow draftee John Locke, and team captain Fabio Jokinen. McChunky liked what he heard from the team and right then and there, he inked his rookie contract. This season, McChunky will be playing for the Yukon Rush again in the VHLM, but next season he will be looking forward to making some noise for Quebec in the pros! For McChunky

Hello, everyone. This is my first edition of anything VHFL related this year! Yeah, ik it's late, life has sucked and after last season's depression and loss of motivation killed me, this season met the same things, but also threw in extra long drafts and my iPad breaking, which has not helped my sim league involvement at all (incoming Fan 590 about it tbh) But anyways, here I am! Last year you guys hopefully remember my assumptions article. Well, here it is again! Hopefully you all enjoy. AK47 will lead the league in FP Yeah, this is easy to say now, but I thought this before the draft stated, proven by me drafting him before the season even started. Cologne, with their lack of roster players but solid TPE earners, has become a fantasy giant builder. Sleeman and Skovgaard were 1-2 in FP last year because of it. This year the duo is replaced by AK and Jarvi. So why did I pick AK over Jarvi? Because of the hits! AK has always been a decent scorer and a big hitter. Imagine what he can do when hes the second option on a team! So far that has been pretty damn good Holik will be the top goalie So far that assumption seems a little far-fetched, but hear me out. Skye is doing great. So great, that it can't stay intact. He leads the league in shutouts and Sv%. Maybe the save percentage can keep up, but not the shutouts. Quebec isn't a bad team, but they aren't one of the 4-5 contenders of this league. Seattle, however, is. Holik will without a doubt get more shutouts as the season goes on, and Sv% HAS to go up, right? If so, he is already just 25 FP down. If his Sv% gets up to the .930s and he gets the shutouts he will eventually get, he should see a big bump in performance. Thrower should be the hidden gem. Drafted in just one league, and at 29th, it's safe to say that Alexander Thrower flew under the radar. But he should make a big impact. Thrower already has 76 FP, more than aforementioned overrated Lincoln. Being on the giant-maker Cologne, his key contribution is that he blocks more shots than any other forward on their roster. Blocks are pretty much the only thing that can singlehandedly bring you into VHFL stardom, so that's a great thing to have. Parechkin will finish with more FP than Unassisted Hate to break it to you guys, but the near-consensus top fantasy player will not have the most fantasy points. First of all, Unassisted's hit totals are way down. This is something I certainly did not predict originally but now that it's mid season that is definitely something that will affect FP greatly. But lets just assume that Parechkin and Unassisted were hitting at the rates they did last season, which is what I assumed they would. And of course it's just 22 games into the season so Unassisted could start laying into fools any second. The difference is the situation. The reason Parechkin was down in FP last season wasn't due to the slight downtick in hits, but the rather more substantial downtick in points from being on a defense-cebtered Toronto squad. Now, he should be back to well over 100 points(currently he is on pace with Unassisted). With that and the near 100 hit difference we should expect to see the the minimum, Parechkin should be much better than Unassisted, which is one reason I drafted him with my first pick. I'll never put myself in a group with YEAH!stlemania again We were one pick away from finishing first but @Salt took his sweet ass time and we got beat. Way to go loser For Podarok.

@Streetlite actually you drafted yourself higher than anyone(your ADP is 15.22) I'll write more stuff on his when life stops spanking my asscheeks and I get to a computer

OLOPM putting on a show, imagine what he could have done here if he didn't complain about "not wanting to be on a scrub team", demanding a trade, and then getting sent to a team where he's the only guy there. Hehehehe

We interrupt this hockey sim league to bring you football!

3 assists, 8 PIMs. A good day indeed