Damn, you received a small reward for taking the time to write something league related, even though what you wrote had a silly/joking premise?!? Wow. What a horrid fucking league. Staying in VHL full-time guys, you've converted me.
Where can I do a writeup about how I tape my stack using 3" CCM lightfoil tape, making sure that no piece of tape overlaps another one, followed by spending 15 minutes waxing the tape job??