Cornholio

1. It's been a rough start without a doubt. None of us saw this coming, well maybe we sort of expected a step back but like this? Ouch. It's tough on some of us who had become accustomed to success the last two seasons, but that goes to show you that everything is earned here in this league... and maybe a little sim luck. We apparently don't have either yet this season. 2. The top two scorers this year has been Kevin King and myself. I think that we've sort of taken up the load as the first two line centers. General Zod has surprisingly been our leader in hits as well as shots blocked. The rest of us definitely need to pick up the slack if we're going to make up ground from this slow start. 3. Probably. It delays prospects being on the team because they'd rather play in the E amongst their peers instead of getting dominated in the VHL and bust their asses off the first few seasons before finally getting their turn. I'm okay with it because I've been through the cycle once myself in the past, so I know what to expect and just try to do my best every single week. 4. I'd love to see us upgrade somewhere. Either add a big name forward or defenseman who can really help enhance our quality of play through their leadership and whatnot. 5. Goat would be cool. They sure can clean up your yard for you pretty good, save some money on lawnmowing. 6. I'd have to say the piano is pretty cool. The old, big ass wooden ones that are impossibly heavy to lift. The worst? Maybe the harmonica, I dunno man haha.

London United third year forward That Dude has finally been given the opportunity to showcase his talents in an expanded role. London has to make some difficult decisions this past off-season, offloading some of their seasoned veterans for younger assets. Naturally that means taking a step back (or two or three?) compared to their results from the past two seasons. “I have zero problems with this at all. We had a great two year run, finished high in the regular season standings however that did not correlate to any luck in the postseason. So I’d have to say I completely agree with the organization management’s decision to repivot and position itself for a separate run. That could have a higher reward compared to had we kept on trying with the previous core only to come up short in the postseason if you know what I mean? Also— on a personal note, that means I get more playing time and a better opportunity to showcase my abilities which you will not hear a single complaint out of me. It seems that the United coaches have finally given me a shot at center, playing the second line which I’m totally cool with. I look forward to a breakout season statistically wise and continue my elevation toward becoming the face of the franchise. Let’s get it done y’all guys!”

1.) I’m actually looking forward to it. My guy is most definitely ready to take the next step as I assume full autocracy of this team in my third season. Gonna expect my player to rank among the team leaders in a good number of stat categories. 2.) Turnover is inevitable for every professional sport team. We may have had a few more than the last two seasons, but that’s okay as long as your draft picks continue to develop accordingly. I’ve been doing so and once again, I look forward to becoming ‘The Man’ here in London. 3.) I believe depth is essential here especially as hockey is a team oriented game. You can’t just win with one or two lines of players. Gotta have guys for every situation, for every aspect of the game whether it be physical, offense or defense. My guy is getting there in all aspects, namely the physical aspect. 4.) Uh who? 5.) I like hockey how it is. But I’ll admit that playoffs hockey >>>> regular season. But if you throw a couple of mandatory shots into the mix, that would really make hockey a whole lot more entertaining with players’ increased impulsiveness / decreased inhibition in action! 6.) Not at all. I really like @Devise’s answer on this one, so I’ll just go with what he said.

HOLY COW THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME

London United's forward That Dude is about to embark into his third full season in the VHL. Yeah, where'd the time go by?? It's kinda crazy how fast time can really fly by sometimes, but that's how life is as a VHL player. By the end of this upcoming season, That Dude's rookie contract will have expired. He is ready to get paid accordingly. "London has been keeping me on the minimum contract. I only earned $1.25M USD in my rookie season, then that got prorated to $2M USD in my second year. I'm not quite sure how much I'll earn in my third year, but it probably should be at least $2.5M USD if my math isn't wrong. I've only earned $3.25M USD in my VHL career and to be frank, that's not a lot. If I'm going to earn enough money to afford all of those regression fighters and stuff like that, then I need to be paid accordingly. That's why I look forward to the end of my rookie contract. I'm going to cash in on that sweet payday, whether it be with London or another team." As it stands right now, That Dude is the sixth-highest TPE forward and eighth-highest skater on the team despite giving up at least three or four years of experience compared to others. This guy is relentless and he wants to become the best. Often, the third season is where players really start to make or break their career, and the same will probably be true of That Dude. "I don't want to be held back, I want to prove my worth and I know that I can play with the big boys. Give me the opportunity and I'll do my job accordingly. Then I'll be paid what I'm really worth. That Dude out."

1. The sentiment is mutual all around. Most of us are at a loss for words in terms of how we lost so badly and in five games to Prague. Kinda shitty way to end our year, and two years in a row on top of that. I think that we just did not execute on offense and probably got out-played both mentally and physically. Not a lot of guys on our team are hitters, so I think that may have a part to do with our lack of success. 2. It's a bummer. Fortunately we were able to get a backup plan for goaltender so that's good news. Sandstrom is a tough loss, but we'll weather the storm and prepare accordingly with whoever we have for next season. Only option really. 3. I think we should explore both options. Youth feeds future success and we also are in a position to compete now, so getting somebody who's not gonna retire this upcoming season is also a good idea as well. 4. Yes, I believe we will continue to be competitive. Good enough for the second seed or will we drop a spot or two, that's the million dollar question. I've got to do my part and take on additional roles in order to help our team compete into next season and beyond. 5. As I mentioned, I'm going to work hard. Work on my physique and really get my 50-year old self up to par. Be a little more physical, aggressive and stronger with my play both with and off the puck. That's the only route I see to improved success going forward. 6. I certainly hope we can turn things around, but only time will tell. I know that the front office is definitely invested in us, so we've got to return the favor. I'm in this until I'm out.

After a second consecutive disappointing end to That Dude and London United’s postseason — it is clear and apparent that some things will have to change. That Dude has been doing some hard evaluations and having conversations with his mentor and dear Icelandic friend Wolf Stansson, Jr. “It really does suck. Those long off seasons are always brutal when you’re sitting on the sidelines and to be frank, I’m really sick of it. We deserve better than this and uh, it’s clear and apparent that it is indeed time for a change.” Other than hosting his customary Icelandic hockey camps and making appearances at public / charitable events, That Dude has been hard at work in the gym as well as in the cafeteria, changing his eating ways. “As a 50-year old gentleman, I cannot really eat those heavy carb foods. My body is changing, and I’ve got to modify my diet in order to give my body the fuel that it needs. It’s like giving regular unleaded gasoline to a premium engine. Inefficiencies happen and performance is seriously affected as a result. If im going to be a more faster, stronger and physical forward for the United, this is the change that I must go through.”

London United forward That Dude and his teammates now find themselves in an unenviable position. As the favored #2 seed, they find themselves in a 3-1 hole against the #3 Prague Phantoms. “This isn’t cool at al. We expected better out of ourselves and uh, you know, we still had that bitter taste of defeat in our mouth from last season when we lost to the Helsinki Titans in 6 despite being in identical position. im not sure what is keeping us on the short end of the stick. But it’s definitely not appreciated by anybody in case you were wondering. I was demoted to the third line center which is fine and all, cause the stakes get really high and you want the best of the best playing heavy minutes. Unfortunately I’m in the lower end of the spectrum in terms of TPE. That’s okay though, I’ll just keep on pounding and grinding away. Hopefully I’ll get my moment at glory, but it has to start right now, right here if we’re going to avoid another disappointment. We’ve worked too hard for our season to end like this.” Fun Fact: This member has never advanced out of the first round of the VHL playoffs. This could potentially be my fifth or sixth consecutive first round defeat in as many attempts lol.

Second year winger That Dude and his London United teammates are officially playoff bound. As the S78 regular season wrapped up, London finds themselves in second place in the European Conference, basically guaranteeing themselves a first round home rink advantage. They are scheduled to host the Prague Phantoms while the #1 Warsaw Predators will invite Helsinki Titans. “It’s a big sigh of relief on our end. We went on a bit of a slide down the final stretch. By slide, I mean we weren’t keeping up with Warsaw even though I recall at one point us having a game in hand on them and a win would have put us over them. But whatever, no point in crying over spilled milk. Gotta focus on what we can control and that’s a first round matchup with Prague. We are really looking forward to this matchup ‘cause of my sentimental ties to the Phantoms organization with my previous player Wolf Stansson, Jr. But a lot has changed within that organization since my last days there, so it’s just in name only. I’m here as a proud member of the London United organization and we look forward to making what we hope to be a deeper run than last season. Gotta do it for our goaltender Jacob Tonn. wish us luck.”

1. This will be my second postseason in as many seasons so I’m kinda familiar with how things are, and the pressure/media attention and all that. We just have to do what we’ve been doing all season long and hopefully we’ll be fine. 2. We did make up ground in the European Conference on Warsaw but it doesn’t seem like we have been able to keep up with them. It’s okay, we’re just gonna have to do it the hard way. 3. Prague should be a fun matchup. Fingers crossed we can come a round closer toward the Cup compared to last season. 4. He seems pretty important, yeah. Anybody talented as King is, you want to hold on to him for as long as humanely possible. Looking forward to another year then 5. Probably a baseball bat. You never run out of ammo with that bat. 6. Hmmm. I’d say maybe cricket. Tried watching it but it’s kinda hard to keep track of.

Second year London United skater That Dude has clearly made strides to his game over the off-season/throughout this concurrent season. His numbers have started to or is about to eclipse his rookie numbers all across the board. “It’s a testament to my hard work and perseverance. Coming onto a veteran-loaded team last year, I accepted my role and did my part due diligence. Tried to help the team out as much as I could. My personal stat line wasn’t quite there, but at least there were room for improvement, you know? Coming into this season, I knew exactly what I wanted to work on/improve in order to better help my team out. Scoring, defense were my primary focuses. Now that I’ve got those two numbers up to an acceptable level— it’s time for me to expand on my game. Gonna work on my checking, skating and puck handling I think. Once those attributes are up to par, maybe I’ll start seeing my name a lot more often on the League Leaderboards. That’s always been a dream of mine personally. In order to do that, one has to improve and build upon last seasons numbers and I’ve done that. Looking forward to closing out this season strong.”

1.) O SHIT THAT HAPPENED? Dope. I think that it definitely helps us out as soon as this season and hopefully in the long term as well. 2.) I’d put together a big Big Ben clock tower and the London skyline in a continuous wraparound all over the Jersey, representing what London is all about. It might be wild, but teams are doing wild thing nowadays anyways. Why not us too? 3.) start banking as soon as Y4, definitely before Y5. Id avoid buying any tpe packages outside the regression fighters as those packages are totally worth it. Helps maintain your respectable level of play. 4.) I usually check out the league leaders, check out their builds and see where I can improve so someday I’ll be up there among the best. 5.) I’m not sure if I’m gonna recreate but if I did — it’d come with a funny name that’s for sure. 6.) I’ve seen some wild stuff. Once I saw a fan throw a pair of knickers on the ice rink. Needless to say, it was quite large. Nothing as wild as what the Red Wings do with their octopus though, that one always takes the cake!

That Dude, a second year forward for the London United of the VHL, was recently spotted at a Pride festival/March in London. When asked about this, Dude had some words to share: ”It doesn’t what sexual orientation I am. It’s all about being there, utilizing my platform as a professional hockey player, to make sure that the Pride community know that they have allies. I remember growing up in Iceland and there were some folks who didn’t take too kindly to those people. That’s fine with me and all, but the very least you can do is show respect for others exactly how you’d want to be respected. Plus there are some pretty cool stuff and displays going on during those Pride events, and it’s always nice to get to interact with people whom we might not even typically socialize with on a regular basis, you know? Embrace the beautiful diversity that’s going on in our world.” On the ice, That Dude has logged 19 points halfway through S78 and is on pace to beat his numbers from last season— a testament to his continued development and positively contributing to the team success. London has made up some ground on the European leading Warsaw Predators although it’ll be tough to overtake them for the #1 seed. But London’s sure as hell gonna try.

1.) I think London should make a move with caution. We don't want to give up too much, but at the same time -- if we really want to contend for a Cup, I think an upgrade is needed especially with how far ahead of us Warsaw is at the moment. Do we need more offense or defense, I'm not quite sure about that. Probably defense 'cause apparently defense translates to good offense which wins championships. 2.) I have to have a Yeti cooler in my locker room. Full of ice and coldness and all that so I can enjoy my ice-cold drinks before and after games. Not during, 'cause that could throw my gameflow off. 3.) My player supports Speedo briefs - it is really comfortable yet firm and holds my groin in place. Perfect for those ice cold baths and swimming in Icelandic waters. 4.) Probably not. I'm planning on returning back to Iceland after my playing days are over - become a Hermit of sorts just like my mentor Wolf Stansson Jr. 5.) It doesn't seem like we have a transition plan in place. So I'm assuming that the team will hunt hard in free agency this upcoming offseason. 6.) I would like to play with Julian Nou-whatever the heck his last name is. Uh, not sure who else I would like to play with more often. I wish I had more opportunities with the legend last year but it was unfortunately not in the cards.

Did you click on this post title expecting a bitter dispute between That Dude, a second year forward for the London United, and his organization ? If I did, my apologies for the click bait. I typed out the title then realized that it could be misleading… then just left it as is. “No folks, there’s no quarrels between London and Myself. We actually enjoy tea and crumpets on a daily basis and most of the guys hit up the pubs afterwards. It’s a nice, gay ol’ time. We’ve been trying to bond as a collective unit and fight for the second seed in the European Conference since apparently Warsaw is running away with the conference lead. That’s okay and all - we’re focused on maximizing our finish and get ourselves set up for the postseason where it actually counts. Prague seems to be our biggest competitor so far but there’s also Helsinki who beat us in the first round last year… we didn’t forget that one.” That Dude appears to be in pace to beat his rookie stats all across the board while logging minutes at right wing on the first line as well as second line center on the power play lines. Not bad, but there’s still area for improvement. I look forward to seeing what he can do once I get his dang defense up to 95 and round out everything else.

1:) It’s all good mate, shit happens. Everybody forgets things every once in a while. If it happens again though… you might be due for a good ol’ fashioned Stone Cold Stunner. 2.) Our team cohesion has been on full display lately, which is really nice to see. I was nervous for a bit earlier but we’ve started to click together. As long as we click more often than not, then we’ll be fine. 3.) Uh, not sure on this one. I don’t keep tabs outside London lol. 4.) It would be cool to see some of the old VHL/M franchises return to action. One name I’ve been hearing often is Vasteras and uh not sure about the others. But maybe I’ll get involved for a bit with my next player, we’ll see if I’m still around by then. 5. I enjoy answering these questions, especially the OOC ones. Nice change from my .com articles where I need to talk about my players progression and all that. 6.) I like the funny, silly ones. Especially the open ended questions, those are the good ones. The questions that asks about other teams or whatever - I don’t like ‘em cause I honestly cannot answer based on knowledge lol.

London United second-year forward That Dude returned to his team facilities for the start of S78 with high hopes of improving upon his quiet rookie season. “Being the kid on a veteran team that went to the playoffs last season; I accepted my role as a supporting cast ‘cause clearly everybody else was better than me. My opportunities would be limited which was fine and all. So I chose to make the best out of my situation and learn from some of the best in the business.” S78 has started and That Dude was surprised to see that he had been slotted into the first line at one of the wing positions. “First line already?! Wow. I didn’t see this one coming at all. I know that I put in work on my scoring this past offseason and uh; I’m trying to get my defense up to par too. But it is nice to see that the London coaching staff think highly of me enough to throw me out there against some of the best lines in the league. I’ll try my best not to disappoint everybody!”

That Dude and his Team Europe comrades won the Gold Medal in the S77 WJHC, cementing this group's legacy as the best upcoming group of players for the VHL's long-term future. Through the eight-game round robin format, That Dude logged 2 goals and 5 assists with a plus/minus of +2 while playing on the first line alongside Druss Deathwalker and Luc Tessier. Team Europe would end up winning 6 out of 8 games with one loss coming in overtime, good for the first seed in the single-elimination postseason tournament. Team Europe would squeak past by Team USA and survived a barrage from Team World to eke out a 3-2 victory for the championship. When asked about his WJHC experience, That Dude had some words to share. "It felt surreal. I also feel like the whole tournament really flew by fast. It was like I got a notification that I was selected to Team Europe and I saw all the S77 guys that would be featured on the team. That gave me a really good feeling about this group of guys and what we could do together as a team. The next thing I know, I'm celebrating the S77 WJHC Cup. Like, where did the time go by?? But yeah, it's been fun and I'm glad that I got the chance to contribute significantly and showcase what I could do as an individual. I think that I will definitely need to put in some work into my faceoffs if I'm eventually to become a frontline center in the VHL. But other than that, I think I handled my own weight on both offense and defense just fine. We had a hell of a fight from Team World in the championship game, but our defense and goaltending answered the bell especially in the third period after we netted three in the first two. A true test of champions and we accomplished what we set out to do. Awwww yeah!" That Dude has put in significant work into his scoring throughout the offseason and is expected to bring his defense up to an elite level as he prepares to take the next step in the London United's pecking order for S78. Will it pay off? Or will That Dude drown in his sophomore struggles as many other aspiring young VHL players before him did?

1.) To be quite honest with you, no I have not been keeping up at all. My primary attention has been directed toward the EFL where I'm managing a franchise for the first year ever, then the SBA as my secondary league to see how awful my regressed player is doing. This is my side league if you catch my drift. 2.) Who's Kankunnen? Our backup goaltender? We still have Tonn right, don't we? 3.) I'll ship 50% of my salary toward my family in Iceland as they prepare to sell their third-generation home and move toward a simpler humbode in Reyjkavik so they can be more accessible for me across the water. 4.) Nousianen is a good one I'd give him that. He's been a model of consistency and production for us all this time. I'm not sure who else would be worthy of the C or the A patch on their jersey. Maybe that'll be me a few years down the road. 5.) I think it would be the raccoon. Raccoons take whatever they want and if you aren't looking, they'll steal all the booze from underneath your nose! They're nocturnal too, so they could last the entire night. 6.) I think that elephants would be the most interesting to listen to since they're really smart and stuff. Most boring would probably be the sloth 'cause it'd take them a hour to complete a sentence. But from the movie Zootopia, they're apparently speedsters when placed behind the driver's wheel of a car lol. Rudest, definitely goldfish. Their memory span is like 7 seconds, so our conversations would basically be redunant every 7 seconds. No thanks.

That Dude was recently honored with a selection to the Team Europe S78 WJC Roster. "I wasn't even expecting it at all to be quite honest with you. I mean, That Dude thought that the Juniors were only for guys in the VHLM. But apparently That Dude is still under that TPE threshold or something like that - not sure what it is at the moment, but COOL BEANS. Lots of cool guys on the team too, most of them from my S77 Draft Class so it will be really nice for us to get to touch base together once again and gauge everybody's progress in relative comparison to each other. That guy Druss Deathwalker... man I bet you he's going to try and hit me during our team sessions and count it against his list. News flash buddy - they don't count. Second news flash - you ain't coming near me. As for my placement on the team, I have no idea what line or the minutes or role or whatever that I'll be playing. But now that I know I am on this team, it's full steam ahead for me - That Dude is going to make sure that Team Europe ends up reigning supreme over everybody else and bring back the trophy where it belongs. In other news - London seems like they're moving on toward S78 rather well after a disappointing end. So uh, I believe I should have a meeting with the management team fairly soon to make sure that we're all set with what I'm going to play in my second year and what kind of workouts I should be focusing on. I believe I have a solid foundation build - it's time to start working on specialization and market my skills the best way that I can. Looking forward to a breakout year."

1 - That Dude plans on going back to my home country of Iceland to just chill, host some hockey camps for the young Icelandic hockey players and uh, I'm not sure what else. Probably fish, and spend time with the family too. 2 - I think so. I will need to step up my game in order to meet the expectations that the team might have of me in my second year but I've got to live up to it. 3 - I think I would have demanded a trade in my VHLM career once my team shafted me over to the second or third line. That really hurt my draft stock, but maybe in the end - it's a blessing in disguise. I'm cool and content here in London. 4 - You woke up to use the loo then you couldn't go back to sleep, so you've been on your mobile device since then - slowly going blind with the constant invasion of blue light to your sensitive eye iris. 5 - I'd have to say Criminal Minds is a nice television show that I've been watching on-and-off in my spare time. 6 - Probably work on my faceoffs skills. Definitely rusty after having limited opportunities in my rookie season. Or work on my slapshot. Either way.

The dust has officially cleared from the second round of the S77 postseason and four teams have been eliminated. One of them was That Dude’s London United squad despite being the better seed. The United found themselves in an early 2-0 and 3-1 hole, simply too much doe the team to overcome despite the top-heavy talent led by the retiring Mikko Lahtinen. “It was really nice for us to make it into the postseason especially in my first year in the bigs. But unfortunately we didn’t stay for long and lost to Helsinki. I thought we matched up well against them… but apparently not. It does suck. Kinda feels like we let Lahtinen down. But that goes to show you just how fragile a team can all of a sudden look in the playoffs. I wish I could have helped more but at the same time - I hope this turns out to be a good learning experience and we come back bigger and stronger next season. I know for a fact that I will be, and i will be ready for whatever role that is asked out of me for S78. also, I laugh at Druss Deathwalker‘s hit list. The fool didn’t even come close to me - what makes him think he will next season?!”

You ain’t coming anywhere close to me

1.) It’s truly a blessing to be a part of such a wonderful squad in my rookie season. The vets taught me a thing or two... and may have forced me to cover a meal or two. I look forward to reciprocating that when I become a senior member of the organization. 2.) No question Lahtinen. It is his final postseason and for somebody as accomplished/battle-tested as he is... we will be feeding off his energy and presence. 3.) Uh maybe Chicago Phoenix? Cause their GM is my GM in the SBA. Or Prague. 4.) We need to play more cleaner on both sides of the ice, myself included. I had two penalties in a single game and that wasn’t good. Also recorded a -3 rating so I really can’t let that happen again if we’re to advance out of this 0-2 hole against Helsinki. 5.) I bought a moped instead. The streets of London can be crowded sometimes and narrow in certain areas. Not like Iceland. So a moped helps me get around a whole lot faster. 6.) I’d love to see an Amsterdam team. The city is really awesome and uh, yeah very vibrant and bike-friendly too. Can’t beat that. If there was a second option, I’d probably go with Madrid or Berlin. Always wanted to visit those cities.

London United rookie forward That Dude has wrapped up his first VHL regular season with a line of 13 goals, 16 assists - not a bad stat line considering the fact that Dude played on a top-loaded veteran team where he had to grind his way for every opportunity. “You know, it wasn’t easy at first. I had my playing time cut in the M and that didn’t go too well with me because I thought I was capable of more. Then comes in London who didn’t even scout me at all pre-draft and they took me cause I was still on the board at 10. Something different, right? Then I see who else is on the roster and man, it’s gonna be tough for me competing against seasoned pros. I like to think that I grinned my way up and maybe warmed the respect of a couple of players on the team. While my rookie line isn’t as eye popping stat wise as I naturally would like - our team performance especially in the second half was awesome. We made it to the number two seed in our conference as well as the league! To have the opportunity to play for the Cup in my rookie season, I simply can’t turn that down. Let’s do it!!”