Cornholio

1. Have you been watching the World Juniors lately? If so, who are you cheering for? I haven't really paid any attention, probably because I'm not participating this year. Which is rather unfortunate because I definitely think I could help either Team Europe or Team World, whichever I qualify for. But let's see if the GMs of either teams know what they're doing. 2. What was the best gift you got for Christmas? Tough call. I'd say that the long-sleeve Daddysaurus t-shirt I got from my finance was kinda cool because my daughter and I have that bond over playing with Dinosaurs and roleplaying as T-Rexes. Looking forward to wearing that shirt out. 3. What kind of food did you eat for the holidays? An oven-roasted chicken along with baked potato, a delicious chickpea salad and uh... a pretty good apple pie. You know, the works. Definitely put me into a food coma that night. 4. How satisfied have you been with your player's performance recently? I think I'm doing okay. In terms of TPE, I'm probably on the lower end of the spectrum so that's okay. I'm just preparing myself as much as possible for next season. 5. What do you think of Chicago's big upset (and sweep) of Seattle in the VHL? That happened? Wow. Isn't Seattle supposed to be good or something? Didn't Chicago come into the league as an expansion team recently? Man I need to get up to speed on stuff. 6. Assistant GM a_Ferk went MIA with the presser last week. Where did he go? Probably on a drinking/smoking spree in Amsterdam. Glad to know he's back and in one piece though.

1.) So the season's over and the Prague Phantoms did not qualify for the playoffs. What happened in the second half of this season? 2.) What are your offseason plans to help the team improve for next year? 3.) Is there a vacation in the works during the extended offseason? 4.) We bid farewell to three veterans in Ondrej Ohradka, Seabass Perin and Wolf Stansson, Jr. What have they meant to you/the team? 5.) Have you completed your Christmas shopping? 6.) What do you hope to see happen in 2021?

This is bittersweet. I've had a blast and a great ride with my first player in this league, Wolf Stansson, Jr. Or was it really my first? For some reason I may have been McLovin or Sexy McSexington a very long time ago, like during the first decade of this league or something. Not sure why I didn't last long. But yeah, I made an effort to stick around all those seasons with Wolf Stansson, Jr. If the forum search tool is correct, I created Wolf Stansson, Jr. just over a year and half ago (June 2019) and time sure flies by fast. I guess as is the practice with those kind of pieces, I should be thanking some folks. So here goes nothing. @Rayzor_7 Thank you for helping WSJ get started with that late-season signing to Minnesota Storm in S66. I wish we did more but at least we made it to the playoffs and you did help me out. I wish that you had kept me around for S67 but it was not meant to be. @Josh S67 with the Yukon Rush... that was a great VHLM team, I'm still bummed that we did not do more. I mean, we had @CowboyinAmerica @.sniffuM @Seabass @Jbeezy76 @Speed @Ace and a couple of other solid members. Outstanding D, still not sure how we lost in the first round to Halifax (?). But yeah, this year helped WSJ get going and gave me some excitement to what a scoring D-Man could do. @diamond_ace This guy gets the biggest thanks out of everybody. He gave me inspiration and a reason to really stick around -- WSJ ended up being the first ever rookie drafted to the Prague Phantoms back in S68 (12th overall). I'm not even sure if I would have stuck around if I went to another team and probably toiled in relative anonymity which would have tuned me out. With Prague I had a chance to get first line minutes right away and that motivated me to help see Prague through from the bottom up. I'm disappointed that Prague has underachieved through the eight years and I'm sorry I couldn't have done more. I hope that you have no regrets picking WSJ. WSJ unfortunately walks away with no awards at all and three or four early playoff exits. Nothing except a couple of Prague all-time marks (which will eventually be broken). This is the part where I just randomly tag people thanking them for being Prague teammates and spending time together in the LR (other than the ones already mentioned). This is off the top of my head so sorry if I forgot you! @Jayrad28 @BladeMaiden @omgitshim @Doomsday @animal74 @AW13 @Grape @TacticalHammer @Kisslinger On to That Dude it is then.

That Dude, a 50-year old center in hockey, is fresh coming out of Iceland and has already boldly declared he is headed for stardom in the VHL via the VHLM. A few days ago, the Saskatoon Wild signed That Dude for the remainder of the S75 season. But how did he get here? We are here to review his Junior career as you surely can see. In Iceland, there is no Juniors system as their senior hockey league, the Icelandic Men's hockey League (Hertz deild karla) has only four teams. Totally weird right? Anyways, That Dude previously played for Skautafelag Akureyrar, the dominating team in the IMHL that has won 21 out of 29 championships. For Skautafelag Akureyrar, That Dude is one of the few original members remaining from the team. Yeah, he's been playing hockey in the senior Icelandic league for the last three decades. He started out as a simple fundamentally-sound center who relied on finesse and speed to get by others and win his way to the puck and make plays. As he grew older, his body mass started to build and That Dude's technique improved with each passing year, and that comes when you're basically playing the very same players every single year, and sometimes even former players' offsprings. With that in mind, That Dude secretly set out an individual goal that he would be impossible inside the face-off circles. Utilizing his quick hand-eye coordinator and quick-trigger muscle responses, That Dude vowed to get his stick in the right place at the right time, pushing the puck back toward his teammate every time. You never know when it truly counts and you need a face-off win for a quick goal or a clock/penalty-killing maneuver. It's truly amazing when you think about a 50-year old being able to hang out and compete on a level playing field with kids who could even be That Dude's own kids. Heck, even outfox them out of faceoffs. That Dude's increasing body mass forced him to change his finesse game as well - he'd turn into a checking machine. But one thing that didn't change? His ability to score goals. That Dude led his team in goals 20 times out of 29 years, and hits the last six years of his IMHL days. His last year was stricken by the COVID-19 pandemic, so That Dude is hopeful to have another opportunity in the VHL which oddly enough has remained COVID-19 free. Will his game translate over well from the small pond of Iceland hockey to the large ocean of VHL hockey?

Apparently it's what That Dude looks like on Google. Wonder if he's planning on using those sunglasses during the games too. Getting back to the point -- That Dude is a new Center who's entered the VHL system via the M. Two days later, he signed with the Saskatoon Wild. It remains to be seen what That Dude's game is all about, but we decided to sit down and chat with That Dude to kick off his character. Q; So who are you? Why'd you decide to come to the VHL? A: Thank you for asking me that. I, That Dude, am a pretty good hockey player and I grew up inspired by Wolf Stansson, Jr. so when we connected, he hooked me up with his agent and the rest was history. I hope to be able to represent this agency well as well as my home country of Iceland. Keep WSJ's legacy strong and all that, you know? The M is just a stepping stone in my journey to greatness. Q; So you think you'll be great in the VHL? A: I KNOW THAT I WILL BE GREAT! It is only a matter of time until I reach that junction to be honest with you. Just got to groom myself, get myself up to the speed of the VHL through the M. Saskatoon Wild is just a stepping stone for me, like everything else in life. I don't know if Saskatoon is even planning on wanting me back next year when everybody goes back into the dispersal draft. But we'll see about that. Anyways, getting back to the point - yes, That Dude will be great. Q; Okay so basically nobody knows you. Can you please explain what your game is going to be like? A: Correction -- nobody knows me YET. They will soon enough. They will all be chanting 'That Dude, That Dude' in the stands soon enough. Basically to put it short, I'm a center who's going to win all of his faceoffs. I'm a center who's going to knock people around. I'm a center who's going to score. I'm a center who's going to be wanted by every GM in the VHL. Is that clear enough for you? Q; Ooooookay. Moving on -- how has Saskatoon been to you so far? A: Well apparently it looks like Saskatoon is doing pretty good. Fourth best record in the M so far this year. That Dude is going to help this team win the championship with my outstanding play. Then That Dude is going to see if Saskatoon really wants me back next year. Probably the answer's yes. But I'm not going to get too far ahead of myself. I just need to focus on playing, one game at a time and get myself up to speed. Those hockey folks in Iceland, they are too easy to play against. Wolf Stansson, Jr. told me that I had to come over here if I really wanted to get better. The fact that I'm here tells you my pure intentions. Q; I'm starting to be moved by your sincerity and candid-- A: SYKE! I JUST FED YOU WHAT YOU WERE HOPING I'D SAY! I'M OUT OF HERE!

1. What's your go-to breakaway/penalty shot move? I'd have to say my go-to move is to feign a pulled calf muscle, skate to my left for a bit then spin around and slap the shit out of the puck. Sometimes it works. 2. With 13 games left, can that handsome scoundrel Thomas Landry II (59 GP, 29 G, 42 A, 71 PT) break the Prague single-season records set last season for goals (35 - Ohradka) and points (84 - Havlova)? That handsome scoundrel absolutely will. I will help him succeed even at the expense of others. Hopefully it helps us win a little more than we have been lately. 3. What do we have to do to make the playoffs? I think we just need to step it up. And the sim engine needs to stop fucking Prague over. When will enough be enough lol. 4. Will we get a shutout this year? We haven't?! Dafuq. I'll try my best before I hang up my skates. 5. What's the worst Christmas exchange gift you've ever received? An insulated drinking bottle. It was kinda bulky and it's been sitting in the kitchen pantry for the past year. Sorry! 6. What do you need (item, food, tradition) to make if feel like Christmas? A cold IPA beer. Time with our family as well. And hopefully a good family feast like we had this past Thanksgiving.

That Dude! I mean honestly, how did you not notice that dude? That Dude is the new talk of the town... which town, I'm not quite sure yet. Probably Saskatoon? 'Cause that's where That Dude ended up going to start out his VHLM career. That Dude had expected to get a lot more noise, but only two teams made offers to That Dude and the other one was Minnesota. Interestingly enough, Minnesota was where Wolf Stansson, Jr. started out his VHLM career way back in S66 before not being asked back in the subsequent redistribution draft. But yeah, the fact that Doomsday was the GM of the Saskatoon was a tough one to pass up on since we've known each other for probably more than a decade now, having met each other back in the MSFL. Or something like that. And we're teammates on the Prague Phantoms and he is one cool cat. Anyways, That Dude is looking forward to starting his VHLM career. I'm not too worried about him this year, but I should probably get going on my PTs since I've decided to go into the same draft class standing as OrbitingDeath once again. F. That Dude is going to be That Dude on the hockey rink, owning faceoffs and basically being a power center. Let's see if this works out for me... hopefully better than WSJ. WSJ I think did okay, but didn't quite really live up to my expectations.... or maybe he was just a misfortunate byproduct of Prague's historically bad luck. I dunno. But no ragrets. Let's get this show on the road and earn me some more TPE today.

#SaskyBois let’s do it sir!

sign this brother up

Player Information Username: Cornholio Player Name: That Dude Recruited From: Returning Age: 50 Position: C Height: 80 in. Weight: 250 lbs. Birthplace: Iceland Player Page @VHLM GM

Great career! Way to represent S68 Draft Class!

Great career no doubt about it, way to represent our S68 Draft Class

POST!

am i too late?

Wolf Stansson, Jr. is about to hit a huge milestone in his career. Not the hockey side of things but the TPE side. Only a few weeks left from biding him farewell, I am about to hit 1K TPE with Wolf Stansson, Jr. which is kinda a big deal. As a secondary sim league to me with limited time to do sim league PTs, participate in the community and all that -- it's been a little tough on me because I'm the kind of person who is all-in or nothing. But the affiliate thing and knowing my limitations, I've had to prioritize the SBA over VHL and the EFL because of my vested interest in the former and history there as opposed to the latter two leagues. But at the same time, it's been kinda nice to be a participant in this sim league and especially the Prague Phantoms LR. 1K TPE is something that I've never really thought about hitting with Wolf Stansson, Jr. but alas - here I am. With this and the affiliate PT claim, I'll be hitting the milestone which is cool. Will I be able to hit this with my next player? I'm not so sure. But apparently the optimal time for me to recreate is next week in order to hit the S77 Draft with the most TPE possible, I guess I'll try and get a good start with my next recreate. Now.... as to what I want to do with my next recreate? That's a thought I've touched on a number of times in my past VHL.com submissions but I still haven't come to terms to anything. Getting back to hockey, it's been weird to see Wolf Stansson, Jr. play great this year -- he's averaging nearly a point per game. WTF is this? Does experience really make a difference in the sim engine? I'm starting to suspect that this is the case with how well some players have played into regression? Nonetheless, I look forward to stat padding as much as I can this year in order to feel somewhat satisfied with WSJ's career numbers.

Wolf Stansson, Jr. is practically on the verge of retiring and disappearing from the VHL altogether. At least he's going out on a somewhat strong note as an individual, recording 29 points through the team's first 32 games as the Phantoms pursue another postseason trip. "I don't know what to do next. It has been an interesting journey for myself, because I think I've put together a generally solid career. But the lack of postseason play is going to hurt me, but I'd rather be a Prague lifer than hop around chasing rings. There's no honor in that. You stick with your guns until you're dead meat in the water, or the team sells off you as a mercenary to another team. That's just my Icelandic take on it. I've recorded 100 goals, 300 assists, 400 points and over a thousand shots blocked. I think that those are nice, round numbers. Naturally I'd have liked to reach 500 points, but it is what it is. What I'd like to be remembered is as a guy who came in, clocked in, did his thing, clocked out and went home. It's kinda weird that I've only been honored with the assistant captain role just once, but it is what it is. The locker room has spoken and the guys who think deserves to be captains it will get it. I'm okay with just doing my thing as I've always done my entire career. I look forward to going back to Iceland after this season - find a partner, go ice fishing as much as I can and fade out of prominence on the European continent. It's kinda scary to think about it, but at the same time - it's been a long time coming. I've had a good time here and I look forward to trying to close out this season with some good feelings if at all possible."

Eight years. Goddamn. Time flies by fast, seriously. I still remember the day I ventured out to this here site thanks to the newly founded affiliation check rules. I mean, the VHL had been around for 65+ seasons and counting, so obviously something here is working. Anyways, I had no idea what to do with my first player here other than that I had a pretty decent defenseman in the GOMHL that got FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY out of the Hall of Fame despite being the all-time leader in Shots Blocked. That guy was a heavy hitting/shot blocking, defensive oriented guy which was cool. With Wolf Stansson, Jr. I wanted to try something a little different and see what happened. Offensive, playmaking sort of defenseman. Clearly the sim engine does not like their offensive defenseman so WSJ never really lived up to my offensive expectations which kind of sucks. But it is what it is and I've learned from this. Anyways, WSJ is in his eighth and final season. So I felt so much better finally having the ability to cash in all of my banked TPE I've been saving up for the last two seasons. Got WSJ back to his prime form in the primary attributes and the Prague team was going to be a lot better than last season, where we unexpectedly made it into the playoffs. 17 Games in, WSJ is surprisingly one point off the lead for a defenseman which kind of kicks ass. Does the experience attribute make a difference in how well a player performs? It certainly looks like it. Either that or the Prague's gameplay settings is finally aligning with WSJ's level of play. Or is it a result of WSJ playing primarily on the second/third line so the quality of line opponents is not as strong as the first line? Or something like that. Ok, I'm done rambling on here. Onto the sunset WSJ goes. But I'm gonna try and make a mark in my final season along the way.

1. Having 1 win in the first 4 games out of the gate isnt a great start. What do we have to change out there to be able to turn this around? I think since this question has been issued, it's ignited a fire underneath us. We've won nine of our first 16 games and we're only three off the pace in the European Conference. Our offense has been playing well and I think our defense needs to be shored up a little bit. 2. Thomas Landry has exploded with 6 point in the 4 games, who do you think is best suited to challenge Landry as the Phantoms top point getter this season with Havlova being gone? Landry is our man. Apparently i'm second which is cool. No complaints on my side of things, but I'm sure that Ondrej Ohradka will eventually overpass me but it's Landry's year. 3. Do you have any pre game rituals that you'd like to share? I usually eat some chicken wings before games. That's my go-to meal. Maybe a couple of slap shots in pre-game, where I really give it my all. That's pretty much it and I keep to myself most of the time. 4. Are you a fan of a routine or do you just go with the flow most times? Pre-game stuff, I like to stick to my routine. But off the rink, I'm a flow kind of person. Very flexible really. When it comes to hockey, I stick to what works for me. 5. Pepsi or Coke? Fuck soda, I drink water. 6. Prediction time, how many points we will we end up this year in the standings? Definitely more than last year. I'm hoping for at least 80. But that may be a stretch based on how unlucky we have been as a franchise. The last time or two that we started strong in the first half, we ended up cooling off in the second half. So... yeah. My last go-round, so I'm trying to make the most out of it this year.

Why do we still suck against Warsaw

Wolf Stansson Jr. was noticeably surprised when he received the news that he was selected to represent Team Nordic at the S74 World Cup. “I’’m kinda on the other side of the hill so I thought my World Cup days were over. I had a great time, winning Gold with Team Europe at the WJC way back then, it’s been so long ago I forgot what year we won it all in. Probably S68 or something. Had a couple of World Cup appearances but those teams went nowhere so I was sort of counting down the days until my final season. Then I got the call.” Reenergized by this and the lack of defensemen on Team Nordic, Wolf’s leadership and experience was valued by the team and he sAw significant minutes. Team Nordic ended up winning gold in a surprise run with a 4-3 win over Team Canada in the Finals. This gives WSJ one more prestigious honor to add to his resume. “I’m grateful for this experience because the group of guys on the Nordic team, they’re all awesome and I’m glad that we got the opportunity to play together at least one last time on my end. Show everybody how us Northerners play hockey. Anyways this has given me much needed energy boost as I prepare for one final hurrah.”

Seven years down, and one more left to go. Shit son, time flies by fast. Wolf Stansson, Jr. is wondering how he got old so fast, to the point where his body is starting to ache more so after game days. In his younger days, he'd be ready for a doubleheader if needed. Nowadays, count Wolf out for one of the two games. He's becoming more and more reliant on ice baths and yoga/pilates/body weight workouts in order to maintain his strength and conditioning. "At the beginning, there was so much ahead of me and I felt like I had nothing to lose. But now. It's the other way around. Not enough time, and so much to lose. I've got a lot of memories, good times with the teammates. But in terms of postseason success or individual hardware? Not so much. So it's kind of a bittersweet feeling really. Are there any regrets on my end? No, and I'm just more than happy to have the ability to write my own career story and to spend it with the one same team that drafted me eight years ago. Nothing beats that. I understand that some others have left this organization for the opposite reasons, in order to pursue team success. In an alternate universe, I'd probably do the same thing. Or at least do a sign and trade or something like that. But I've had absolutely zero interactions with any other teams' front office since Draft Day, so yeah. Prague Phantom 'til I drop dead. Experience is an interesting thing. Even though I regressed little more than last year, I somehow played better. Did experience have a factor in that? Maybe. It's maybe also because our team's next generation of players are starting to take the team as theirs and that makes me happy. I just hope that someday Prague will get there. With or without me physically present, I will always be with the organization in spirit." Now when is the optimal time for me to do my recreate?

Wolf Stansson Jr., the veteran defenseman for the Prague Phantoms, was able to make this year a special one for the team. Largely expected to miss the postseason, the Phantoms were able to close out the regular season on a nice little streak to win the tiebreaker over HC Davos for the 5th and final postseason spot in the European Conference. They drew up the Helsinki Titans in the wild card play-in round, a best-of-5 series. Prague had defeated Helsinki twice out of three games down the final stretch, so the team was naturally feeling good about their chances. This was ill-advised as Prague would wind up getting swept in three games, losing by a total of four goals. Whose fault is it? The offense for not generating enough pressure on the opposing goaltenders? The defense for surrendering so many shots? "It's tough. This franchise hasn't had much success in the postseason, all three times we made it in, we were sent packing home early. Our team has yet to win a postseason series and that's kind of a monkey on our back right now. Until we get it off, we're going to forever face questions about that one. Myself included, I didn't play too great. -2 differential in my time on the rink, playing first line on the defense. That's got to change and I know I, as well as our team, can do better than this. I know that I didn't really invest too much into practice this year - I was more focused on maintaining my body. With one more year left in me, it's all-in time. I'm going to take some time off this offseason, let my body recover before I try to do some more work. We'll be back and even better next year, mark my words."

The Prague Phantoms are on the verge of making their third trip to the postseason. This would be their first trip in two seasons and the last two times that the Phantoms made it to the postseason, they got bounced out very fast. Two years ago, Prague made it in as a #5 seed and got bounced out against the #4 seed team. The year before that, Prague had a stellar season led by goaltender Brick Wahl's MVP campaign only to get bounced out fast by Riga Reign. So it's been a fairly nondescript postseason experience for the handful of remaining Phantoms players who were on those two previous teams. Prague, HC Davos and Helsinki all are within two points of each other (Prague with the two-point advantage) and they all have six games remaining. So anything could really happen. A team could on a multi-game losing streak and end up on the wrong side of the postseason bubble. Looking at the Phantoms' last six games, they have Helsinki twice, Calgary twice as well as a game against Los Angeles and Vancouver. So it becomes more critical that the Phantoms win at least 3 games, maybe 4 in order to secure a spot in the postseason and it won't be a walk in the park. Preferably the #4 seed so they have at least some home rink advantage in the wild card knockout round. WSJ is hoping for a good outcome this time around.

It’s been an interesting season for Prague Phantoms this year - not much was expected out of them, but Prague has made a strong push as of late in an effort to make themselves “there” in the postseason picture for this year. “We do have the talent, maybe not as top-end or whatever like the other teams out there but we do have some guys here who can skate, play defense and do good things with the puck in our possession. So it’s been nice to see us hanging in there with a fighting chance to make it into the postseason despite our regressions and offseason departures. as for myself - I am honestly surprised by my performance on the first line. I guess regressed Wolf knows a thing or two about what he’s supposed to do on the rink. We’ve paired up nicely, myself and Cinnamon - so that was really nice to see. It would be nice if we could snag that fourth spot but if we make it into the the postseason this year, that would be a big accomplishment for us and a good learning experience for the youngsters.