RMiner57

I'd write! I'm funny, right? I promise not to make horrible jokes. Mostly. EDIT: In all seriousness, I do think I'd be qualified. I enjoy hockey writing and I'm pretty active here. (Plus I'm new. Pity points?)

Personally I try as much as possible not to use the 'reffing sucks' argument, but there have been nights where the reffing legitimately stunk. (Wasn't there an icing call on a PK during the San Jose vs. Canucks game? That was hilariously awful.)

Top 5 Likes: Carey Price Sedin Twins (Yes, they're one person.) Henrik Lundqvist Roberto Luongo Pekka Rinne Top 5 Dislikes: Brad Marchand, Brad Marchand, Brad Marchand, Brad Marchand. Sean Avery Ryan Kesler (Those post trade comments. C'mon, man.) Mark Messier Jordan Nolan (Tried not to make my favourite team obvious, but it fell apart in the dislikes. These aren't all time dislikes, except for Messier. Hate him too much not to include.)

When can we talk about the S42 draft? This draft is so yesterday.

Hey! I didn't actually lose us this game! woot woot

Wait, I just realized. Schneider has started all 16 NJ games this season. And go Nucks.

So, so sweet.

Only thing I wish had happened was the Canucks trading for Halak. Not because I dislike Miller, just so we could have a Lack/Halak tandem. That's just gold.

EDDDDDDIEEEEEEEE ,,, Lack.

Duh. Totally spaced on that one. Updated with a pros/cons.

Finished.

Let me take one more look over it.

Is my TPE updated yet? It'll make a huge difference in my play.

What about the Royals? #goingalltheway

Bern, Switzerland --- Klajums stacks the pads after a shot in practice In Bern is where Ivars Klajums, the waiver acquisition of the Bern Royals is making himself home, "It's been different than Victoria, that's for sure. I've just been touring the city. I think I could get used to this." He has so far hit the ice once so far in Bern in an optional skate on Sunday, trying to get his feet under him. Describing his experience with a smile, he noted the time difference and a little case of jet-lag. "For sure, I didn't have a whole lot of sleep. Didn't help I had a little too many appetizers a couple hours before the morning practice, but it was all good. I spent some time trying to test myself against higher skilled players, but for the most part I tried to keep it loose and joke with my teammates. I like 'em. They're a good bunch and the first thing I noticed is how tight they are a locker room. I think they've bonded throughout the season." He's moved into a situation in Bern where the goaltending hasn't been spectacular. "I won't go into a whole lot of depth but I've been told I can expect some starts sometime soon. It's good to get into the swing of things quick, I'm looking forward to it." One thing's for sure, the ripe rookie will have a bumpy road, but he's got a bright future ahead of him.

Oh god no, you've dated my media spot! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

This article had nothing to do with anything, and that's what conspiracies are for. What an article!

Which one?

HOLY SHIT. THOSE EYES.

Yess.

So, people appreciated my last media spot to my great surprise, and when I said I would do another mark my words, I always come up on my word. So with not a lot of forethought and a healthy dose of stale milk, here's the sequel. Calgary Wranglers So before I review the emo horse, (look at that eye liner) let me note: This'll probaby suck. Sequels are always terrible, and I mean, look at the premise here. Awful. So here's the Calgary Wranglers. No one needs to wrangle this horse because by his expression there is clearly a case of diarrhea. Come on. You can just see the excretion there. And his eye... Gosh, the guy clearly ate too many peppers with those red eyes. What's with the dark outline? He's clearly got eyeliner. Grade: Get a bathroom, you horse. New York Americans Americas, eh? Not only did they have to go there with that patriotic title they had to put in the Captain America-esque shield. C'mon. It's so boring it just screams... Ugh. How can a team get excited wearing this logo to a game? Nobody. (just watch me get drafted by this team and take back everything I said in a style only rivalled by pros who really screw up on Twitter. "I was hacked.") Grade: So boring, that I couldn't come up with a good grade. Booo. Quebec City Meute From the Americans to the Quebecers. Or should I say, the mute. Because really. This wolf is howling, and clearly that's not mute. That's making noise. COME ON. And what's he doing coming out of a shield? Is he like, "this shield is so lame, I'm going to complain to the mods about it"? Who knows? Grade: Come on. This logo isn't making this review any easier. Seattle Bears So this bear looks really pissed. And, to top off the theme, ANOTHER SHIELD. It's a freaking trifecta. Or is it an oval? Either way, I've never seen a bear the colour of which that bear resembles. Is it some mutant bear that is really mad about being inside a lame shield/oval thing? That's probably the case. Maybe he wants to be separate from the crowd. Too bad, bear. Yer off the case. Grade: Who did this monstrosity kill to get a red fur coat? Scary. Toronto Legion So, let me cast off my anti-Toronto biases and handle this like a real pro. When could the logo of a legion look any less menacing? All this looks like is the logo of Aqua-Lovers Club of Blue Huggable Fun Times. Maybe the point here is to disrupt locker room pep talks for the opposing teams. I could just imagine the video coach coming in the midst of an inspirational speech from a head coach in front of his team, and as he looks back to point to the opposition's weaknesses he bursts into a giggling fit about how lame the logo looks and by the time the game starts the coach is pronounced dead, a turn of events fit only for the best of lethal weapons. Grade: Cleverly terrible. Maybe the Aqua-Lovers Club of Blue Huggable Fun Times should make a hockey club. So there you have it. The VHL and their logos, graded and summarized by an idiot. You can have the VHLM version of this media spot next week, so until then I bid you all a happy Monday. Note: I know Meute means something entirely different, just like the Express' wheels wouldn't appear in the logo. But that doesn't make for good cheap jokes. Wait, did I just say good cheap jokes? When is a cheap joke ever good?

It's nice for me to get a kick-start so that I can make an early impact. I'm definitely not complaining.

I was featured.

This guy needs some points! GIVE MAH POINTS. REVIEW. ... please.