JardyB10

… the Americans have successfully killed off another penalty. Some time later, we find ourselves in the Americans zone faceoff dot. Osborne is kicked out for Sound, which tickles me. He wins the faceoff against Slaughter, which tickles me further. It goes back to Olsen, and the entire line dicks around passing it to one another until Low gets angry and smashes Sound away from the puck. Zadorov retrieves it and get it out to Odin in the neutral zone, who passes it to XXX in the Bears zone. In what is becoming a concerning theme, he dumps it for a line change. Weber recovers and finds Ozzy in the neutral zone. The Bears and the Americans battle hard for it there, as possession goes from one team to the other without leaving the neutral zone. Ball J finally comes out victorious and enter the Americans zone, and passes to Lefervereeverv. NYA D2 tries to steal the puck from him, but takes a slashing penalty, proving that Sandro carries coins in his pockets during games. With just over three minutes to go, things aren’t looking so hot for New York…

So let’s cut to the chase. New York is sucking dick this entire period. They take two penalties, and by some miracle Seattle doesn’t score on either. 15 minutes into the period, and things are looking bleak for the Americans…

This intermission brought to you by the Chicago Blackhawks. Enabling CoachReilly's alcoholism since 1988.

SIMON T GETS THE TIP ON IT! But Smyl makes a wondrous glove save! Holy fuck! The puck is dropped in the Bears zone, and the period immediately comes to an end, with the Bears still in the lead 2-1. Shots that period were 9-8 for the Bears, bringing the total to 23-22 for the Americans, who fail to do shit with the rest of their PP next period. Excuse me while I go take a piss.

Wahl finds it once more and gives it Giygas for one last rush before the period ends. He leads it up to Stark past the blue line, who gives it back to Giygas. He moves into the offensive zone, finds Zadorov on the point. Then back to Giygas, Giygas fires it!....

Bears gets a line change and Wahl picks up the puck. He gives it to Low, who passes it into the neutral zone. Sound isn’t finished ruining this PP yet though, so he finds it first and passes it to Yuma, who dumps it once again. XXX picks it up and begins the rush. A pass up to Odin, then to Low, who brings it into the Bears zone. Pass back to Odin. Back to Low. To Odin again, who… dumps it for a line change. Seriously New York, that is not how you PP. Yuma recovers the puck and gives it to Sound to ice.

Pad stop by Smyl! Sound is there for the rebound, and he sends the puck across the ice.

Americans send out their top PP unit. Slaughter beats SEA C1 and gives it Low. Low shoots…

GLOVE SAVE SMYL, who holds onto it for the whistle.

Americans send out their second PP unit against the Bears #2 PK unit. In the Bears zone, Giygas wins it back to Zadorov against SEA C2. He gives it to Stark, who finds Giygas in the trapezoid. He gives it back to Zadorov at the point. To Stark. To Giygas. To, you guessed it, Zadorov, who quickly sends it back to Giygas! He finds Simon T! Simon T with the heavy wrister!….

10 minutes after that exciting event transpired, the Bears find themselves in penalty trouble for the third time, with Olsen taking an Interference penalty on XXX. At 18:26, the Americans have the rest of the second period to tie it up on the powerplay.

HE SCOOOOORES!!!!! SEBASTIAN BALLS TO WALL JR. HAS GIVEN THE BEARS THE LEAD AGAIN, 2-1! At 8:32, that was ALL one shift after the Americans goal at 4:43! This place is going apeshit!

MISSES THE NET! But Tyrael needs his agent to start his GM career right, he quickly recovers, brings it out front and shoots, but it goes off Ball J and hard into the corner! Weber finds it and backs up to the blue line, and Ball J covers the other point. A pass to Ball J. Trying to find room. He goes back to Weber, then a quick pass back to Ball J! He shoots…..

Sound brings it into the NYA zone and finds Olsen. He also dumps it, and the Bears bring out Line 4. Wahl gets the puck behind the net, and gives it up to NYA D2. He tries to find someone in the neutral zone but Weber is SO there! A quick pass to Damon Tyrael, who brings into the Americans zone. He sets up Ball J, fires!...

The two teams line up at centre ice and Slaughter again pwns SEA C2 to Odin. Moving it to the Bears zone, he tries to pass back to Slaughter, but Lefevre intercepts and moves it to Ball J in the neutral zone, who feels bad for Lefevre’s pick and passes it to Conner Low. This shit goes on two full minutes without a whistle. The puck is dumped into the Americans zone and picked up by Simon T, who springs it to Giygas at the red line. He tries to pass across the wing, but Ozzy says “not today!” He dumps in back into the Americans zone and the Bears change to Line 3. Stark picks up the puck, Giygas once again picks up the spring pass at the red line and dumps it in the Bears zone. Americans switch to line 1. Smyl picks it up behind the net and gives it up to Olsen. Olsen passes it out of his own zone and onto the stick of Conner Low. Low gives it to Xiao, who carries it into the Bears zone. To Slaughter. To Odin. To Zadorov. Back to Odin. To Slaughter. To Odin again. HE SH- dumps it into the corner? Olsen recovers it and passes it to Sound in the neutral zone. What the fuck just happened?

XIAO SCREENS AND DEFLECTS IT IN THE NET! THE AMERICANS HAVE TIED THE GAME! 1-1! I JUST SHIT MY PANTS! Less than five minutes into the second period, and we’ve got ourselves a game here, folks!

Line 1 comes out for the Americans. Slaughter easily beats SEA C2 for the faceoff, and even finds time to give him the finger after. It goes to Odin, who’s looking for a pass. Unable to find one, he lets loose a cannon….

Smyl stacks the pads! Laich tries to stuff it in, but the it’s whistled down for a faceoff.

Deflects off Slaughter and MISSES THE NET! Odin recovers it again and takes another shot, but Smyl is so there. He covers it for the faceoff and both teams bring out Line 2. Giygas and Osborne line up for the faceoff, but Giygas is booted for being an amateur. Laich shows him how it’s done and wins it to Giygas. He passes it to Simon T, who fumbles it and loses possession… but Zadorov is there to save his ass. He passes it to Ironman. To Giygas for the one-timer!....

That effectively ends the Americans second powerplay, as we get a couple minutes of back forth until we find ourselves in the Americans zone for a faceoff. Line 1 is once for New York and Line 3 for the Bears. Ball J wins the faceoff against Slaughter to Olsen. He passes it back to Ball J for a shot, which misses the net, no suspense needed. Low picks it up and plays more tic-tac-toe with his good buddy Odin, all the way to the Bears zone. Odin rips a shot against Smyl, who leaves a greasy rebound! Odin tries again!…..

Haha, yeah. Misses the net. Slaughter gets it this time, as the Bears must be exhausted. He hands it off to his buddy Low, who passes it off to FUCKING MOTUMBA ZACK SOUNDS SAYS NOT TODAY! INTERCEPTION! A pass out to Lefevre gives everyone time to change, much to the relief of pretty much everybody.

IT HITS THE NET! IT HITS THE NET! Unfortunately for him it still hits Smyl, who turns it aside! Low retrieves it and passes it back to XXX. He gives it Odin. To Slaughter. Back to XXX, who tees it up!.....

Misses. The. Net. As if you were expecting anything different. XXX has had enough of this shit, and picks up the puck himself. He takes the shot!

It misses the net! This is getting really embarrassing. Simon T's turn to recover it. He gives it to stormlord Odin in the slot for the one-timer!

It misses the net! Low picks it up this time, and he goes in for round 2, shoots…….