Claimed:Diggerland!

[Phil 5,085]

Diggerland!

 

 

The faucet in the kitchen dripped incessantly, with a precision that was both impressive and infuriating. Over and over, each drop fell to the stainless steel basin with a consistency that could help a metronome keep its rhythm. As Mike Szatkowski tossed over in his bed in the next room, he couldn't stop thinking about Riga as that bloody faucet. Something leaking, we aren't complete - yet. It was like the sink was assiduous in pointing out the flaw in his Cup run. Something's got to give. In rhythm with the drips, Mike drifted off to sleep.

 

He awoke several hours later in a daze...

 

Shut up Peter this isn't your narrative!

 

He awoke just a few short hours later, but his head was clear. He knew the player he wanted to get. He picked up the phone and make a long distance call to Quebec, Canada and asked for someone who calls himself Frank.

 

And so it came to past that Tyrone Williams, the Season 39 left winger came to Riga. Unfortunately, Mike had to deal Konstantin Azhishchenkov to Quebec but he knew full-well that you always have to give up something to get something. 

 

Williams was the first pick of the second round in the S39 VHL entry draft (11th overall). Though the draft was exceptionally strong this year some GMs could regret not taking him earlier. But those thoughts were not on Mike's mind. He was half way through his team's training camp and he needed to do one of his infamous team building exercises to get Tyrone accustomed to life in Riga (see Team Building Like You've Never Seen) 

 

That night, Mike drifted off to the irritatingly persistent sounds of his faucet, clearly giving him the indication that he needed to come up with something. 

 

At 4:02am, Mike sat bolt upright in bed and screamed "DIGGERLAND", causing the cat to jump 8 feet across the room and slam into the wall. 

 

------------------------------

 

"What's Diggerland?" asked McQueen to Gow III.

"The politically acceptable name to Africa? They just swapped out the 'n' so white people could say it?" 

"Nah, I think we are going to the VHL cemetery" chimed in Fjorsstrom.

"I'm not sure if I want to look at dead dudes" Hallstrom muttered.

"Shut up and get in the bus" ordered Mike Sztakowski.

 

 

Now, when Hugh Edleanu's company decided to have an 'open day' to show off their machinery, he couldn't help but notice the kids scrambling to queue up to clamber all over them. Perhaps Bob the Builder is to blame; perhaps it's the basic thrill that many-a-child knows can be got from sitting on dad's lap "driving" the car. Whatever the explanation, Hugh saw an opportunity and opened Diggerland.

 

On paper, Diggerland set off all sorts of alarm bells in one's head: lots of very powerful industrial machinery being operated by excited kids and adults (who might as well be put in the same category as kids). It's the sort of vision from which Health and Safety officers wake screaming in the middle of the night. Anything that upsets such busybodies is obviously to be encouraged and besides, as soon as your 5-year old (or in Mike's case, the 5-year olds in his players) are at the controls of an earthmover, it seems the most natural thing in the world. Anyway, apparently accidents are more rare that pink diggers.

 

That being said, as the Reign got off the bus, they were greeted to inordinate amounts of yellow. They may as well have walked into the center of an egg. 

 

The lay-out is that of an amusement park. The team had to get in line, buy tokens at the entrance, and then pick how they wished to spend those tokens. 

 

Gow decided to have a crack at hooking an iron duck with the big pirate-earring hoop attached to an earthmover, failing miserably causing Gow III to laugh hysterically as he climbed on board to give it a whirl only to also be horribly unsuccessful.

 

 

After a few hours of fun with more high-paced rides like Spin Dizzy (a $200,000 digger which holds eight people in its modified scoop and lifts them into the air while whirling madly round. (The member of the staff, Villeneuve noticed, looked like he was having the time of his life), and Sky Shuttle (an $80,000 telescopic loader that shoots six people into the air. 

 

Everything here seemed to be the result of endless brainstorming sessions with Hugh banging on the table saying, 'Gentlemen, I will not accept no for an answer. There must be something else we can do with diggers!'

 

After the team had as much fun as they possibly could, they went to the Diggerland restaurant, The Dig Inn (Standing ovation!) They then went to the gift shop to splurge on more yellow paraphernalia. Tired and extremely satisfied, the players and families hopped back on the bus and headed for home. 

 

As Mike stared from his couch at the kitchen sink, it seemed that the faucet was dripping less frequently, or at least with a lower intensity. He reflected on the eventful day. It's encouraging to think that a place like that could inspire future generations of engineers. Maybe I need a career change if I don't win the Cup this season.

 

And with that he slowly slips into the bliss of a deep night's slumber.

 

Is that a euphemism for sex with a hooker?

 

...Shut up, Peter. 

Edited July 17, 2014 by ssda911

[Phil 5,085]

lol just for you slobo

[eaglesfan036 4,592]

Diggerland 2 gud?

[Mike 708]

Whatever you do don't drink the water in Diggerland.

[Guest]

Shut up Meg.

[Molholt 2,185]

Content: 3/3 - I have no idea what is going on here but I love it. So weird! Riga is breaking out the crazy strategies.

Grammar: 2/2 - Looks good from here.

Appearance: 1/1 - Yes sir!

Overall: 6/6

 

Final: 6

[Smarch 3,026]

Claimed