Warrant Issued For Vancouver Meta Over Assault Allegations

[Doomsday 4,130]

Warrant Issued For Vancouver Meta Over Assault Allegations

 

TORONTO - In a shocking development, the Toronto Police Service called a press conference late last night following a Victory Hockey League playoff game played between the Vancouver Wolves and the Toronto Legion, with an announcement of assault charges being filed against the Vancouver Meta. It is believed to be the first time that any type of charges have been filed against an inanimate object in the 188 year history of the Toronto Police Service.

 

“Last night, a warrant to arrest the Vancouver Meta arrived at my desk,” said the Honorable Sylvia Jones, the Solicitor General of Ontario. “The grievous nature of the allegations were most harrowing, and as a result, I expedited the process and the warrant requested has been granted. Our officers are currently searching for the Meta, but it is believed that it has already left the Toronto area and flown back to Vancouver. We will provide an update when more information becomes available.”

 

 

As is standard protocol, details of the warrant and alleged crime were not released, but popular consensus is that the Vancouver Meta is wanted for assaulting the goals against average of Toronto’s rookie goaltender, Oskar Lindbergh. Following the Wild Card series against the Los Angeles Stars, Lindbergh was sporting a sharp GAA of 2.88, along with a save percentage of .933%. However, four games into their Semi-Finals series against the Vancouver Wolves, his GAA has ballooned to 4.89, with his save percentage dropping to .914%. The ruthless nature of the Meta’s effectiveness has appalled many, with calls for action against it believed to have led to the Toronto Police Service filing the charges.

 

Vancouver currently leads the series 3-1 over Toronto, with Game Five scheduled to take place tonight in Vancouver.

 

Jethro Novacek is an award-winning writer for the MSFL Times, the utmost authority on absolutely serious simulation sports news. He enjoys a good bowl of Froot Loops, a warm mug of hot chocolate, and snow days.

[Beketov 9,025]

5 minutes ago, Doomsday said:

his GAA has ballooned to 4.89, with his save percentage dropping to .914%

What were you saying about being on my level  

[Doomsday 4,130]

2 minutes ago, Beketov said:

What were you saying about being on my level  

 

You play Vancouver for a series and we'll see how it goes for you too!