Nicknames for the VHL

[Dabnad 182]

 

Hello everyone! It’s been a long while. Today, I was at home, bored doing absolutely nothing but watching TV when I got this message from a friend. He started calling me the weirdest nicknames which gave me the outstandingly terrible idea to write a VHL article about nicknames. So now, I’ll be taking some current players (mainly leaders of stats for the season) and giving them a nickname describing them. What I’ll be doing is using the very top player as of Tuesday, July 5th 2022 at 9:49 PM EST since that’s when I’m writing this article. Without further delay, let’s get on with some names for your favourite players! 
 

Assists: Hard Markinson @STZ

 

Now, I could ether make around twelve different types of jokes with this name giving him the name “Alabama King” or “King of the Queens” but I’ll give them a slightly sensible name to make sure that they don’t get mad at me at the end. After all, this is meant to be fun and not insulting. So the name I decided to go with at the end was “Slap Shot pointer”. Get it? Hard shot aka slap shot (deflections hence the assists) and mark(inson) (for shooting from the point) can be the point? I have no other explanation for this so from now on, we call him Slap Shot Pointer.

 

Goals: Nico Pearce @Spartan

 

Spartan came on this list faster than expected! Only took him 2 paragraphs. Now, this is a fairly uncreative name which is why I’ll be going with the most definitely simple and not at all unique name of “Piercer”. This will be because when the puck goes off the stick, it pierces the goalie to go in the net. Sometimes, it even pierces the netting which results in the stadium management being mad at them but hey, make better netting. From now on, we refer to Mr. Pearce to Piecer.

 

Points: Hard Markinson

 

Same thing as assists, not a hard choice from my side, we shall continue from this one.

Plus-Minus: Baby Bob @Baby Boomer

This one was a wee bit tough for me to think, plus minus isn’t the most important stat (according to me) and finding a name for it isn’t easy as well. After five minute of me thinking about this, I thought of the name “One plus One”. This, along with the great meaning of their name, can mean that the plus keep adding up until it becomes super high. If you know the other meaning, you know.

 

Shots Blocked: Dabnad Shaw @Dabnad

 

Ah this one hits close to the heart, I get to choose a name for myself. With this opportunity for being the first man to get an opportunity to name themselves and choose what the other general public gets to call them, I desire my name to be put into as the “hung shawl”. Along with my last name already have been used (by a great I’m definitely not complaining), the term “the wall” is probably better suited for the great goalie. A hung shawl can have many different symbolic meanings, it looks simple to go through, but when you try you realize that going through requires more strength. 
 

Hits: Druss Deathwalker @animal74

 

Yet another player that hits close to heart, however, I think that his name already has his nickname. Like comeon, “The Walking death” is perfect for this situation, someone who can hit the person in any minute, a strong player who can injure you for weeks, he’s essentially a walking death machine. Don’t think I need any more comments here.

 

I think I’ve done all the main categories, you have PIMS and stuff but they can mostly be adjusted between these categories. Be sure to rate my nicknames, and put a petition to rename everyone here to those names. After a very long time, this is Dabnad Shaw, singing off, and see you soon everyone!

654 words

Claim week ending July 10th 

[Lemorse7 1,021]

48 minutes ago, Dabnad said:

hung shawl

I’m calling that now and Druss The walking death 

[Greg_Di 1,028]

Review:

I enjoyed this article, was definitely something new and fresh vs some of the other articles that are posted. I think you did a great job with the nicknames for all the stats. I would just maybe add a picture to help the article out a little more but other then that I can't really find any flaws. The Walking Death was probably my favorite and well suited for a heavy hitter. 9/10