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A call for help.


Agito

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Hello, I hope you are all well on this night, day, evening. For my part, I am not doing so well. I feel alone in every sense of the word. Of course I don't want to die. Don't worry about that. The VHL is above all a big family. Many of you know me by my nickname and my few actions within the VHL but nobody really knows each other IRL here. I think I'm looking for a little comfort somewhere. Of course I imagine some of you might say. It's not up to us to do it but to the people close to you. I could answer you that you are right but that sometimes it is better to seek the comfort of a stranger than to go to the family. You could of course judge this situation because you are within your rights. And that's what social networks are today, unfortunately, finally, I'm not here for that. I'm just happy to be part of this adventure. To be able to get to know some of you. I'm actually not the most active in the forum. I never know what to write on the forums. I'm not the best of writers either. I'm just Agito after all. The one that comes out of a VHL Rap paragraph like the one we don't really know and you're right. I'm often seen in the appropriate lockersrooms for the teams to which I belong. I am someone who has great respect for the Roleplay side of VHL. What I find unfortunate is that this is more or less respected. But hey, this is my point of view. It's not in this text. You see I'm already losing my mind writing anything that comes to my mind right now to occupy my boring and full of pitfalls life. Of course we are on the right day. It's Halloween. A party that deteriorates from year to year unfortunately. I'm at a stage where I'm physically and mentally tired. I can't see the end of the light yet. I don't have rigorous thoughts of suicide either. I'm just at a stage where I'm navigating the maze of my life. You may be one of the escapes who knows.

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@AgitoI obviously don't know much about your specific situation but I can only say that if you keep your head above water, it will get better.  In the moment it can feel like you are alone and that no one knows how you feel but remember, people have felt the same and no longer feel that way.  You can make it out of this funk just as they did.

 

I know my words might sound empty as you said, we are just strangers on the internet, but know that these words come from experience.  If you activily work towards the better, it will come.

 

Happy Halloween.

Edited by Triller
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Good day!

 

It's important to realize that you are never alone. No matter what you do or where you go, you have yourself. Instead of looking for comfort from strangers or anyone else - you should focus on finding comfort from deep inside. I highly recommend exercising regularly, eating the right things, and getting rid of bad habits. Stop playing video games. Stop watching tv shows. Stop simulation leagues.  Stop listening to music everywhere you go.

 

Listen to yourself instead of some terrible rock song. Start reading. Read about Stoicism, read the books "everybody should read", read whatever happens to interest you. Read. Instead of playing hours of video games before going to bed, read a book for an hour. Instead of talking for hours in the locker rooms - do something else, start a blog where you share your thoughts. Write poems, short stories, make stuff up, write your opinion on something. Do you have opinions? Get some. Share them in some way. Paint something. Do graphics.

 

Whatever you do,  always remember that the internet is the home of some of the unhappiest people you will ever meet. Simulation leagues are fun places, but you are still on the internet. Whatever you feel you will always find others feeling the same. If you are sad, you will find other sad people. Ignore these people.  There are no easy answers. You need to do everything by yourself. Nobody is going to help you to do anything. Start by getting to know who you are and start making changes, replace bad habits and bad behavior patterns with positive ones - you will see a change. Small steps.

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Hi @Agito,

 

I agree with Jruutu here for the most part. At the end of the day, it is you who must drag yourself out of the mire. As I am not familiar with your particular situation, I can only give you general hints.

 

Find out what bugs you. If you can change it, do so.

Learn to accept things, you cannot change.

Do not give a **** what people who you do not know personally think of you.

Be nice to the people who are close to you, do not waste your energy to try and impress people who will never be close to you.

Set small, achievable goals on a daily basis. This will give you positive vibes and motivation.

 

 

 

 

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Hi @Agito

 

I can understand that feeling. While I don't know if I can help you at your phase currently, I'll be around if you just want to sit with someone, maybe listen to some music. I'm typically working but in between meetings I like to hang out and just play some music while I work. You're free to come join me and talk, or don't and we can just listen awhile together if that helps. No pressure, I find solace alot of times just being in the same room as others but not necessarily needing to interact with them.

 

Life is both amazing and hard at the same time and it doesn't come with instructions. What we choose to draw and the path we take is what defines us.

Edited by Baozi
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Hey agito,

I understand the feeling of nobody being there to left you up in the world, it’s kinda a cold feeling. I been alone for years, building walls and disconnecting myself from the world, however waiting for everyone is someone who will come break down those walls. This world we live, love and learn in is Not as easy as it could be, I’m here if you ever just want to talk hockey or chat, I recommend finding music, for me when I feel lost and alone I listen to music the is relatable to build connections that everyone feels alone, but It doesn’t mean we can’t connect.

 

Yours truly minion

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17 hours ago, Triller said:

@AgitoI obviously don't know much about your specific situation but I can only say that if you keep your head above water, it will get better.  In the moment it can feel like you are alone and that no one knows how you feel but remember, people have felt the same and no longer feel that way.  You can make it out of this funk just as they did.

 

I know my words might sound empty as you said, we are just strangers on the internet, but know that these words come from experience.  If you activily work towards the better, it will come.

 

Happy Halloween.

 

12 hours ago, jRuutu said:

Good day!

 

It's important to realize that you are never alone. No matter what you do or where you go, you have yourself. Instead of looking for comfort from strangers or anyone else - you should focus on finding comfort from deep inside. I highly recommend exercising regularly, eating the right things, and getting rid of bad habits. Stop playing video games. Stop watching tv shows. Stop simulation leagues.  Stop listening to music everywhere you go.

 

Listen to yourself instead of some terrible rock song. Start reading. Read about Stoicism, read the books "everybody should read", read whatever happens to interest you. Read. Instead of playing hours of video games before going to bed, read a book for an hour. Instead of talking for hours in the locker rooms - do something else, start a blog where you share your thoughts. Write poems, short stories, make stuff up, write your opinion on something. Do you have opinions? Get some. Share them in some way. Paint something. Do graphics.

 

Whatever you do,  always remember that the internet is the home of some of the unhappiest people you will ever meet. Simulation leagues are fun places, but you are still on the internet. Whatever you feel you will always find others feeling the same. If you are sad, you will find other sad people. Ignore these people.  There are no easy answers. You need to do everything by yourself. Nobody is going to help you to do anything. Start by getting to know who you are and start making changes, replace bad habits and bad behavior patterns with positive ones - you will see a change. Small steps.

 

12 hours ago, Daniel Janser said:

Hi @Agito,

 

I agree with Jruutu here for the most part. At the end of the day, it is you who must drag yourself out of the mire. As I am not familiar with your particular situation, I can only give you general hints.

 

Find out what bugs you. If you can change it, do so.

Learn to accept things, you cannot change.

Do not give a **** what people who you do not know personally think of you.

Be nice to the people who are close to you, do not waste your energy to try and impress people who will never be close to you.

Set small, achievable goals on a daily basis. This will give you positive vibes and motivation.

 

 

 

 

 

10 hours ago, Baozi said:

Hi @Agito

 

I can understand that feeling. While I don't know if I can help you at your phase currently, I'll be around if you just want to sit with someone, maybe listen to some music. I'm typically working but in between meetings I like to hang out and just play some music while I work. You're free to come join me and talk, or don't and we can just listen awhile together if that helps. No pressure, I find solace alot of times just being in the same room as others but not necessarily needing to interact with them.

 

Life is both amazing and hard at the same time and it doesn't come with instructions. What we choose to draw and the path we take is what defines us.

 

9 hours ago, UnknownMinion said:

Hey agito,

I understand the feeling of nobody being there to left you up in the world, it’s kinda a cold feeling. I been alone for years, building walls and disconnecting myself from the world, however waiting for everyone is someone who will come break down those walls. This world we live, love and learn in is Not as easy as it could be, I’m here if you ever just want to talk hockey or chat, I recommend finding music, for me when I feel lost and alone I listen to music the is relatable to build connections that everyone feels alone, but It doesn’t mean we can’t connect.

 

Yours truly minion




Thank you for your different opinions in this topic. It felt good to read all of this. I am someone who listens to a lot of music. Sometimes there are moments like this that we fall apart. This was one of those moments last night. Or I just needed moral support I guess. But I thank you for your time. I've taken down your sage advice. I will probably over time slip into your private messages to learn more about each person. It is obvious that you could not know my situation because I wrote in brief. I just poured my heart out.

Here are a few things that came out of my situation that made me fragile. 

You should know that I never really had a fatherly side. The classic as you might say. Leaving before I was born is a weight that makes certain elements of life a little more difficult. Because you have to learn certain things that normally you would have an easier time if someone was helping you at that moment. So I took my mother's father as an example. A man I am proud of. Unfortunately, I recently learned that he was very ill and that he didn't have long to live. I know that you have to live the moments until the last one but this makes me sad. On the other hand I finally learned who my real father was. I now know that he has cancer and has about 16 months to live. Another mental shock despite the fact that I never knew him. He is still my father unfortunately. Then I experienced a separation with my ex-girlfriend. I'm not the person with the most friends, I'm more of a person in the corner. Despite all that. These three events happened at the same time and caused me stress. Questioning. Loneliness as well as closing in on myself. I even lost weight afterwards. I can't say that it's a depression because I don't even know what a depression is. It seems to me that I wouldn't be if it was a depression. Anyway, I digress. I honestly wanted to thank you for these messages that made me feel good for a moment. 

I'm a pretty open-minded person so if you feel like talking. You can come on Discord or on the private messages of the Forum. I will try to be more careful with the forum.
 

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@Agito,

 

    I am not going to pretend I know what you’re going through. I have had my own struggles in my life and still do to this day. I put on a brave face and never show how I’m truly feeling because I don’t want to burden others with my issues. 

 

   The one thing I have learned over the years is that talking to someone about how I’m feeling really does help me feel even the slightest bit better. I am still guilty of maybe not sharing as much as I probably should but I promise it does help.
 

   With that being said my DMs are always open to you or anyone else in this league who needs to vent or unload if they’re having a tough time. I’m happy to just listen or help in anyway that I can. I hope this helps you even if it’s just in a small way, you’re not alone! ❤️ 

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2 hours ago, Agito said:

Here are a few things that came out of my situation that made me fragile. 

 

I don't believe you are fragile by any means. Many of us have the same issues and the same thoughts going through out minds. What I mean that it takes alot of strength to actually tell others about it and to just ask for help. You shouldn't believe for a moment that you're any less than someone else.

 

You obviously have a lot going on and I can't even begin to imagine how you are dealing with it all. Its very commendable.

 

You can easily find me on disc as usual :)

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