Banackock 8,045 Posted April 30, 2016 Share Posted April 30, 2016 (edited) *Part One* When you look around the VHL, love is abundantly in the air. Over the last two weeks, we've spent sometime getting to know 6 people who are in search of their one true love. @Draper, our first ever bachelor to be on the show, now has in front of him 6 other contestants who are eagerly awaiting to meet to one and only bachelor. We've learned quite a significant amount of things about the handsome, wealthy and ever so charming bachelor - as we've learned a similar amount about each contestant. This week, however, is going to allow us to know the personality of each contestant much stronger than the brief introductions. On this episode of The VHL Bachelor: No Homo Edition, we get our first look at each individual house guest sitting down for the first time with Draper and getting to know one another. Will there be chemistry? Will there be anal sex? Did Draper brings Condoms? How big are @ADwyer87's tits? Does @eaglesfan036 shave her bush - because she doesn't weed wack those eyebrows? Oh so many questions and oh so little time. After this brief commercial break, find out tonight on The VHL Bachelor. "Meet Rob, the 13 year old Giraffe from somewhere in Africa. Due to all of the harmful gas emission given off by the white people, global warming has given Rob a rare form of asthma. Each night he stands by his tree trying to sleep, often being awoken by a cough not even Buckley's could heal. Along with the air pollution, McDonald's and other wrappers and fatty foods have washed up along the beach and have caused Rob to expand from his original size and to evolve into a fat sack of cock shit. My name is Zubabulita Shockshockboombra and we need you help saving animals like Rob. Donate $1,000 dollars a day to my personal chequing account # 5565 3321 4678 9991. Thank You. Welcome back to the VHL Bachelor. Now that the ladies are all comfortable and settled in the house and have had some brief time to get to know the other house guests, it's time to finally have the ladies meet the one and only, Draper. On this weeks episode, the Bachelor will be meeting 3 of our 6 house guests. One by one, each girl will walk out those doors and out onto the patio where they will spend 5 minutes talking with the bachelor. After tonight, 3 girls will remain for next weeks episode to have a word with Draper and once finished, Draper then will be faced with the task of sending one home because after all, first impression are fairly important. During these conversations, of course, nothing is off topic and each party is allowed to say whatever they want. Although we encourage each contestant to to remain themselves and truthful, we don't give a fuck if they do or not. First to make their way outside is @ADwyer87. "After a brief hug, Draper kissing her on the cheek and a little squeeze to the ass, they both are seated" Draper: Bonjour to tiggle bitties and a pretty smile. How are you doing and how are you going to help my erection? Dwyer: *Dwyer laughs* If you're lucky, I'll suck your dick like a lollipop. Draper: *Draper asks the host a question* Can I give her all the roses?.. ... Tell me a bit about yourself and why you're hear Dwyer: As cliche as it may be, I'm looking for true love and someone to settle down with. A girl of my caliber has had a lot of opportunity but often attracts fuck holes niggaz that only want one thing. To cum inside me and leave the next morning with a note on it with the incorrect spelling of "You're" when saying "Your beautiful. Thanks for the fuck". Draper: Hopefully I'm able to change your views on guys and what each caliber of stereotype is able to bring to the table. I'm absolutely anticipating the next moment were able to connect. I'm happy to have the chance to get to know you. See you again soon! Second to make their way out.. @JPL *JPL walks out with her cat in her arms, sits down on the chair, strokes the cats back and smiles at Draper* JPL: Hi, I'm JPL and this is my kitty SnickleFritz. I named him that because everytime I say SnickleFritz I can't help but laugh and feel warm inside like there' a bunch of kitties just rolling around in my tummy. Draper: Uhhh, it's a pleasure to meet you SnickleFritz. So I guess my first question is, are your pussies twins? JPL: I don't seem to follow? Draper: You know, the one in your lap is a big ass ball of fucking fur. Does the one in your pants resemble a modern generation's metal fan's beard too? JPL: You slightly disgust me but at the same time, you made my kitty purr and no, not Mr. SnickleFritz. Draper: *Draper thinks to himself... Ha, this is more weird than the one time I joined Tinder and fucked a chick with a horse mask on" Puuurfect. I guess I will see you around sometime and look forward to knowing you. Third to make their way out.. @Da Trifecta *DT walks out in a nice white dress that shows off that amazing black ass and gives Draper a big hug* Draper: For a black person, you're really hot. Never once did I think I'd like dark chocolate, but here I am feeling like a worker at Willy Wonka's factory and I'm just sitting by the chocolate pond wanting to dick fuck it. DT: Well aren't you full of charm and humor. I bet you have another joke about you eating at taco bell and tongue fucking the tacos too? Draper: Did you just make a sexual innuendo joke about me tongue fucking tacos? We're allowed to marry now, right? DT: Hey now, if you wanna marry this you're gonna have to prove to me you can handle this. I do squats at the gym. This black ass was sent from Jesus but built by me. It takes skill to build art. Draper: I look forward to seeing you walk out in more tight dresses and clothing. See you around On next Saturday's episode, our final 3 house guests @CowboyinAmerica, @boubabi and @eaglesfan036 will have the chance to sit down with Draper and try to give him their best first impression. While doing so, they will have to also prove to Draper that they deserve a rose and should not be the ones going home because on that night, Draper will be faced with the difficult tasks making a choice based off what he feels by sending the first house guest of Season one home. Even though it may seem an easy task, it's never easy to break someones heart. Even if it's made out of cholesterol, McDonald's grease or cat pubes. Let's just say, shit's also going down next week so STAY TUNED. Edited April 30, 2016 by Banackock FacePuncher, Da Trifecta, Will and 1 other 4 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/30054-claimedthe-vhl-bachelor-no-homo-edition-ep3-reviewed-22/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
JPL 151 Posted April 30, 2016 Share Posted April 30, 2016 @Draper we can raise a family of cats! Will 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/30054-claimedthe-vhl-bachelor-no-homo-edition-ep3-reviewed-22/#findComment-333080 Share on other sites More sharing options...
FacePuncher 1,343 Posted April 30, 2016 Share Posted April 30, 2016 (edited) Those damn Illiterate niggaz! Edited April 30, 2016 by ADwyer87 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/30054-claimedthe-vhl-bachelor-no-homo-edition-ep3-reviewed-22/#findComment-333081 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Trifecta 1,899 Posted April 30, 2016 Share Posted April 30, 2016 You are too much @Banackock Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/30054-claimedthe-vhl-bachelor-no-homo-edition-ep3-reviewed-22/#findComment-333104 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banackock 8,045 Posted April 30, 2016 Author Share Posted April 30, 2016 1 minute ago, Da Trifecta said: You are too much @Banackock Thanks, buddy. All to put a smile on some faces and make YOU blush. Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/30054-claimedthe-vhl-bachelor-no-homo-edition-ep3-reviewed-22/#findComment-333105 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Admin Will 4,660 Posted May 1, 2016 Senior Admin Share Posted May 1, 2016 8 hours ago, Banackock said: Draper: Bonjour to tiggle bitties and a pretty smile. How are you doing and how are you going to help my erection? totally sounds like me 8=========D FacePuncher and Banackock 2 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/30054-claimedthe-vhl-bachelor-no-homo-edition-ep3-reviewed-22/#findComment-333161 Share on other sites More sharing options...
enigmatic 504 Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 at this point I'm rooting for @eaglesfan036's eyebrows tbh Will and Banackock 2 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/30054-claimedthe-vhl-bachelor-no-homo-edition-ep3-reviewed-22/#findComment-333174 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evans 305 Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Review: I've never seen The Bachelor so I'm going to assume that this version is very similar. May have to start DVRing it at the rate. Keep it going! We better see this damn thing played out until the end. I'm tired of seeing things like these in sim leagues where they get started and never actually get a ending to the story Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/30054-claimedthe-vhl-bachelor-no-homo-edition-ep3-reviewed-22/#findComment-333387 Share on other sites More sharing options...
FacePuncher 1,343 Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 On 5/1/2016 at 8:02 PM, Draper said: totally sounds like me 8=========D glad i turn you on, Draper. lol Review: This is a wonderful series! First of all, this makes me look way sexier in real life, also my persona is hilarious. I've read some of the other VHL Bachelor posts and if this one is as good as those, I'm super excited! Though just saying, if i don't get Draper in the end, that article is getting 0/6 1,176 words Will 1 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/30054-claimedthe-vhl-bachelor-no-homo-edition-ep3-reviewed-22/#findComment-333445 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim 182 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 Claimed Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/30054-claimedthe-vhl-bachelor-no-homo-edition-ep3-reviewed-22/#findComment-334223 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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