Claimed:Deadly Tide S01E03 "Team Work" [Reviewed]

[BluObieZ 1,125]

EXT-STREET-DAY

The sound of birds, flies and frogs fill the air as we come up to a road that goes through a forest. No person, animal or Zombie can be seen. It is almost too calm. But as we almost get used to the new norm shouting can be heard.

 

@JardyB10

Move faster you fucking Llama’s you are making me look bad

 

@Draper

Maybe Higgins was right

 

Jardy

Don’t you dare speak that man’s name, he’s dead! DEAD I SAY!

 

Higgins now can be seen running from around the corner being chased by a slow moving group of Zombies. Higgins shouts out as he gasps for air

 

@Higgins

Jardy… STOP! Please… I said I was sorry a hundred times

 

Jardy

It was thirty four

 

Higgins stops to catch his breath but then looks behind him to see the Zombies slowing chasing him. So he goes back to slowly jogging towards the carriage that is going slightly faster than him and the zombies.

 

Higgins

Are you seriously counting?

 

Jardy

Yep so if I were you I would start saying your sorries

 

INT-GEO-MORNING

Kendrick is sitting in the passenger seat of the small overly stuffed Geo as Robert drives the car and the new guy and his dog sit in the back.

 

Robert

Let’s play a game

 

Kendrick

Oh god

 

Man

Like what?

 

The dog barks

 

Robert

The name game. Try to guess my name, if you get it we move onto Jo… oops almost said his name. But as I was saying, as soon as you guess my name we move onto my friends name then yours

 

Kendrick

Please no

 

Man

That sounds fun

 

Kendrick

It’s not

 

Robert

You can’t go into the apocalypse with this attitude bud. If you do then you will have a horrible apocalypse and that’s just how I do the end of human kind

 

Kendrick

Oh it’s not?... I’m so fucking sorry that I am ruining your apocalypse there bud. I will try to cheer up for you

 

Kendrick sarcastically smiles

 

Robert

Oh, why thank you. That’s very considerate of you

 

EXT-WOODS-NIGHT

Ahma is walking behind the two men who are carrying rifles as Ahma is eating porridge out of an old dirty can they must have found along the road.

 

Ahma

That’s some grade-A porridge

 

Man 1 looks at Man 2

 

Man 1

I’ve never seen someone eat so much porridge

 

Man 2

He’s like the Porridge monster. We need to lose him somehow Jarpi

 

Jarpi

I know Jukka, don’t talk to me like I am a dumb American

 

Jukka laughs

 

Jukka

American’s so stupid

 

Jarpi and Jukka both laugh as an oblivious Ahma eats his Porridge

INT-LIMO-DAY

William is driving down Las Vegas BLVD very fast. Going around cars that are abandoned and on fire. Everyone in the back are holding on for dear life.

 

Vincent

Will you slow the fuck down?

 

William

No! no fucking way. This is the apocalypse and I want to get the fuck out of dodge

 

Vincent

So do we but we need to get out of here ALIVE

 

William

That’s an overrated side objective

 

Vincent

Overrated? Side objective? What in the holy hell are you talking about. If we die in a car crash you cannot live anymore and you become one of them

 

William

If I do… then I do. I will become the master Zombie. But to clarify my previous statement for all you undesirables. I don’t care if you (points at Rick) or you (points at Carl) you (points at the baby) or even you (points at Vincent) die. You are people that I will use to get me to my final objective which is my plane.

 

Vincent

Well that’s not really nice of you

 

William

And it wasn’t really nice of you to bring the two family fuck with us. Rick and his lame jokes almost makes me want to kill them all. Carl so he doesn’t have to hear the jokes anymore, the baby because it’s fucked and Rick because I cannot take another one of those fucking jokes

Rick

Hey Carl

 

Carl

No dad

 

Rick

Where did Noah put all the bees?

 

Carl

Please kill me

 

Rick

In the Ark hives

 

Carl

Please

 

Rick

IN THE ARKHIVES CARL! THE ARKHIVES! Where am I getting all this grade-A jokes?

 

Carl

I don’t know…

 

William reaches for a gun that is under the passenger seat and cocks it.

 

EXT-STREET-DAY

Higgins is still slowly chasing after the carriage as he says sorry over and over

 

Jardy

And that’s one hundred

 

Higgins stops out of celebration

 

Higgins

Ok now let me on

 

Higgins watches as Jardy does not stop

 

Higgins

Jardy? Are you not going to stop?

 

Jardy

I can’t or they will catch up. Do you see a criminal stop in a high speed chase so the cops can catch up?

 

Higgins looks at Jardy then the zombies. Only about twenty yards separate them. Higgins now realizes that Jardy will not stop and the Zombies are getting close to him.

 

Higgins

But Jardy this is not even close to a high speed chase

 

Jardy

A chase is a chase so giddy up higgy

 

Higgins begins to run after the carriage as fast as he can with his tired body. Draper nudges @Victor awake and points at Higgins as he runs. Victor and Draper begin to laugh at Higgins. They now begin to throw things at Higgins in an attempt to hit him.

 

Higgins

What the fuck are you guys doing?

 

Victor

Trying to hit zombies?

 

Higgins

You are aiming at me not them

 

Victor throws an empty beer bottle at Higgins that barely misses him

 

Higgins

Aim higher

 

Jardy

No lower, hit him in the balls

 

Draper

Cold…

 

Victor

Ice

 

Jardy

Ice cold indeed Victor my drunken friend

 

INT-GEO-MORNING

Robert

Is it Jim?

 

Man

No

 

Robert

James?

 

Man

No

 

Robert

Jason?

 

Man

No

 

Robert

Jaybert?

 

Kendrick slams his fist down on the dashboard which hurts his hand.

 

Kendrick

Fuck!

 

Robert

That will teach you not to hit my car

 

Kendrick

Maybe it will and maybe it will not. But nothing will fix your brain. Who in the monkey fuck comes up with a name like Jaybert?

 

Robert

Maybe his family already had a son named Robert so they moved onto the next best thing which is Jaybert

 

Kendrick

I cannot even compute how stupid that is

 

Robert

I don’t see you trying to guess his name. It’s a guessing game for a reason you know. For the simple fact to win it you have to make guesses. A simple fact you cannot grasp and you call me stupid

 

Kendrick

Because you are

 

Robert

I am not

 

Kendrick

Oh yeah? Here I will point out why you are. You only want to play this game because you want to know his name. Something you could have gotten by just asking the guy what his name is. You just around the easiest way of getting it and came up with an annoying and stupid method that is very annoying

 

Robert

I don’t see you asking him his name

 

Kendrick

I didn’t because I didn’t care but now this so called game has gone on too long. So…

 

Kendrick turns to the man

 

Kendrick

This is Robert the idiot (pointing at Robert) and I am Joey (pointing at himself)

 

Man

Jimmy

 

Kendrick

Jimmy?

 

Jimmy

That’s my name

 

Kendrick

Robert guessed Jim and you said no

 

Jimmy

Jim is not Jimmy

 

Kendrick

Jim is the short version of Jimmy

 

Jimmy

But it’s not Jimmy

 

Kendrick turns around and stares out the front window

 

Kendrick

I stand corrected, you both are idiots

 

An awkward silence fills the car

 

EXT-WOODS-NIGHT

Ahma sits down at a tree as Jukka and Jarpi stop in a clearing

 

Jukka

Did you hear that?

 

Jarpi

The rustling?

 

Jukka

Yeah it came from behind us

 

Ahma is behind them against the tree

 

Ahma

Guys it probably was me sitting down

 

Jukka

No it didn’t sound human… It sounded dead

 

Ahma

Do dead things make sounds?

 

Jarpi

They do if they are zombies

 

Jukka

Ahma you stay here as me and Jarpi go scout out the sound

 

Jukka and Jarpi head off in two different directions as Ahma nuzzles up against a tree and closes his eyes. After a few moments screams and gun shots can be heard but it does not wake up Ahma who now is snoring. As the screams die off the rustling sound comes back and is coming closer.

 

INT-LIMO-DAY

The limo is approaching the airport that is guarded by the military. A big crowd of people form near a fence that has a big sign saying “LAST PLANES LEAVING” The crowd is getting angry with the army personnel who refuse to let more into the loading area. William rolls up and pulls down the window

 

William

Big Will coming to see Putin

 

The army guy just nods and waves William through. Vincent looks at the crowd that is filled with families.

 

Vincent

How many people can fit on your plane?

 

William

Does it matter?

 

Vincent

It does if you want to sleep at night

 

William

I sleep quite well on my gold flake pillows actually

 

Vincent

Answer my question

 

William

Let’s just say we won’t be crammed on the plane

 

Vincent

Can we take a few families?

 

William looks at kids crying and mothers pleading the army to let them get onto a plane

 

William

No

 

William speeds off

 

EXT-STREET-DAY

Higgins is now running alongside the carriage as the zombies are right behind them. Draper and Victor are too busy laughing at Higgins to even care about the Zombies. As Higgins finally dives into the back of the carriage he punches both Draper and Victor

 

Higgins

You guys are a bunch of ass hats

 

Victor

I like big butts and I cannot lie

 

Jardy turns around and snaps his fingers then points at Victor

 

Jardy

No! Bad Victor. No signing

 

Jardy turns to Higgins

 

Jardy

You shouldn’t encourage him to sing that song you know how much he loves it

 

As they talk pointlessly about the song the Zombies get even closer

 

Higgins

Oh because our biggest problem is him singing?

 

Jardy

Actually yes, because once he starts he never stops

 

Higgins

What about…

 

The zombies now begin reaching into the carriage which makes Jardy realize the problem that Higgins was pointing out. Jardy quickly reaches under the front seat and pulls out a desert eagle

 

Jardy

Maybe we need ole’ Betsy

 

Jardy kills all six zombies send blood and brain matter all over Higgins, Draper and Victor

 

Higgins

You had a gun all this time and you just now thought to use it?

 

Jardy

I knew we would need it but I wanted to wait till the right time

 

Higgins

Which was?

 

Jardy

Till you guys needed my help and only I could save you

 

Higgins

And now we are covered in blood and shit

 

Jardy

Brains not shit Higgins my dimwitted friend. Brains are in the head and shit is in the butt. I shot them in the head. Besides we are here

 

Higgins

Here?

Jardy

Yes my farm. Where I have yet another surprise

 

INT-GEO-DAY

The car is filled with the awkward silence still as Robert drives. After a few more tense silent moments Jimmy taps Robert on the shoulder

 

Jimmy

I got to piss

 

Robert begins to pull the car over

 

Kendrick

What in the hold moose cocks are you doing?

 

Robert

He needs to piss so I am pulling over so he can relieve himself

 

Kendrick

Why? Why? You have a ton of empty shitty bean cans that he can use

 

Robert

First off that is not sanitary and second that would ruin the patina on the cans. I cannot risk lowering their value

 

Jimmy

I’d rather piss on the side of the road then in a valuable

 

Jimmy picks up a can and looks at it

 

Jimmy

Forty two Yanson

 

Robert moans

 

Roberts

That was a good year

 

Jimmy

Some might say the best

 

Robert

I prefer the forty four Hays

 

Jimmy

Oh good argument. I heard after Yanson bought Hays in forty three they repackaged the unsold forty two’s and called them forty fours

 

Robert

Damn I haven’t heard that bean conspiracy. If it’s true then it goes straight to the top. I mean if they used forty two’s in forty four those beans already had a two year cure period thus making them better than the aforementioned forty twos

 

Kendrick smacks his head out of disbelief as the car comes to a full stop

 

Kendrick

If the beans are from forty two the beans packaged in forty two and the beans in forty four are the same beans. Thus making the so called cure period the same. It’s like me putting a Lamborghini logo on this shitty Geo. People will see the logo but we will still know it’s a shitty Geo.

 

Robert

We will know it’s a Geo but not a shitty one

 

Jimmy taps Kendrick on the shoulder

 

Jimmy

Let me out so I can piss

 

Kendrick sighs as he gets out of the Geo

 

Robert

Stay within eye sight so if there is trouble we can go help

 

Kendrick

More like I will go help and you will watch

 

Robert

Someone’s has to supervise

 

Kendrick mumbles

 

Kendrick

Yeah your idiocy

 

Jimmy gets out of the back seat and goes towards the woods. Kendrick stands next to the car keeping an eye on Jimmy.

 

Jimmy

Stop looking at me, I can’t piss

 

Kendrick

No because the second I look away something will happen

 

Jimmy

Yeah me taking a piss

 

Kendrick looks away as Jimmy letting out a groan of pleasure can be heard. But a few seconds later the groans turn into screams. Kendrick looks down to see Jimmy being attacked by a zombie. Kendrick jumps into the Geo

 

Kendrick

DRIVE!

 

Robert

But… but… what about Jimmy?

 

Kendrick

He’s dead so fucking drive already

 

EXT-FOREST-NIGHT

Ahma is snoring louder as the rustling gets closer. The very next second Jarpi runs out of the tall grass yelling

 

Jarpi

Get the fuck up

 

Ahma slowly wakes up and looks around

 

Ahma

Where is the other dude?

 

Jarpi

Jukka is dead the Zombies got him

 

Ahma

But he had all the Porridge

 

Jarpi

LET’S GO!

 

Ahma begins to cry so Jarpi picks him up and puts him over his shoulder then runs off just as Zombies come out from the tall grass.

 

EXT-AIRPORT-DAY

The limo pulls up to a full sized A380 that is guarded by guards in suits. As the group gets out of the limo and head up the ramp.

 

Vincent

You have a fucking A380 and you can’t help those people

 

William

God damn right, more people means more annoyance and more mouths to feed. It’s the survival of the fittest and they aren’t fit.

 

The episode ends with Jardy and the group getting to the farm. Jardy is leading them to the barn to show them something. Kendrick and Robert are in the Geo driving in silence with Jimmy’s dog in the back. Ahma and Jukka are fleeing the zombies and the A380 taking off just as the air force begins the carpet bomb the Las Vegas strip.

 

 

[Higgins 3,618]

Jardy is a sicko ?

[evrydayimbyfuglien 600]

Review:

Should be "llamas" not "llama's" and "Americans" not "American's" Also, I'm a little confused, I thought Robert said to guess his name then he was the one guessing names...so did I miss something or is there a continuity issue there?

On 5/2/2016 at 11:35 PM, KingRobbie said:

I’d rather piss on the side of the road then in a valuable

*than

A+ for creativity, just be careful with some of the grammar and spelling stuff. Definitely hit the word count and pictures so that's good.

[Kesler 1,514]

Claimed